Chapter 21 - The Erosion - 1

𝘋𝘪𝘯𝘨-𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘨! 𝘋𝘪𝘯𝘨-𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘨!

The sound tore through the precious web of sleep I so desperately needed after that exhausting dawn. I opened my eyes, scowling. Outside the window, the world was already bathed in the bright glare of midday.

Eto was still asleep in my arms. Had she been sleeping beside me this whole time, or had she woken up and gone back to sleep just so she wouldn't disturb me? I suspected the latter.

I fumbled around, searching for my phone. 11:56 AM. Dammit, I slept too long.

𝘋𝘪𝘯𝘨-𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘨! 𝘋𝘪𝘯𝘨-𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘨!

"So noisy..."

What kind of rude bastard keeps ringing the bell like that? The noise eventually woke Eto as well. Leaving her behind as she rubbed her eyes like a sleepy kitten, I walked toward the front door.

"Yes, who is i—"

"𝘒𝘖𝘔𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘈!!!!!"

"𝘎𝘢-𝘩𝘢𝘤𝘬!?"

The moment I opened the door, a lariat so perfect a professional wrestler would have nodded in approval slammed into my throat. I was airborne for a second or two before the force sent me tumbling across the floor.

"Papa!?" Eto screamed at the sudden violence.

I raised a hand to show her I was okay, then shouted at the unexpected intruder.

"What the hell was that for, Hitokawa!?"

"Shut up, you idiot!! What the hell have 𝘺𝘰𝘶 been up to!?"

Standing there, fuming, was my persistent childhood friend, Tomoru Hitokawa.

My heart skipped a beat at his question. Hitokawa was a Ghoul Investigator—a man whose job was to hunt ghouls. Though he was a fledgling among fledglings who hadn't even held his official rank for a year, he was undeniably part of the force that stood in total opposition to ghouls.

The fact that he had barged into my home—where I was hiding a ghoul—in such a rage made my blood run cold. However, Hitokawa wasn't wearing the signature white coat of an investigator; he was in civilian clothes. There was no sign of his superior, either. He hadn't come here as an official representative of the CCG. That, at least, was a relief.

So what was he so worked up about? He provided the answer soon enough.

"Look at this!"

Hitokawa thrust a piece of paper at me. It was a composite sketch. Huh? I've seen this guy before. Where was it?

Ah, right. I see him every morning in the mirror when I wash my face. ...Wait.

"...Is this supposed to be me?"

"It's a bad drawing," Eto chimed in, leaning over to inspect the sketch. She gave the art a low rating while giving my looks a high one. "Our Papa is way more handsome than this."

Hitokawa crossed his arms and looked down at me. "Are you aware there was a murder near here last night?"

"...I can't say I am."

I wiped the conversation I'd had with the policeman at dawn from my memory and put on my best poker face.

"The investigation turned up ghoul bodily fluids at the scene. Because of that, the case was transferred from the police to the CCG."

"I see. And?"

"Well, shortly after the incident, a suspicious individual fled a police checkpoint in the vicinity."

𝘑𝘰𝘭𝘵.

"This is a composite sketch of that individual, drawn based on the officers' descriptions. It doesn't look exactly like you, but the resemblance is striking, don't you think?"

𝘑𝘰𝘭𝘵. 𝘑𝘰𝘭𝘵.

"And you came all the way here just because of a vague resemblance?"

"No. At first, I just thought it was someone who looked like you. The officers couldn't see well in the dark, so the details were fuzzy. But once I saw the report on the chemical composition of the liquid the suspect sprayed in the officers' faces... I knew it was you."

"Why?"

At that, Hitokawa began massaging his temples with trembling fingers. He let out a shout.

"Paint, corn syrup, ammonia, and god knows what else... How can you say that to the man who was 'Test Subject No. 1' for your childhood paint bombs!?"

Ah, right.

Come to think of it, back when we were in first or second grade, I'd wondered how effective my homemade paint bombs were and used Hitokawa as a guinea pig. I remember him crying. My father had given me a massive lump on my head for that, and I had to go to Hitokawa's house with my parents to apologize.

"Wow~ you still remember that?"

"It was a trauma! That liquid was a trauma for me..."

Was it really that shocking? Well, I suppose having a sticky, foul-smelling liquid of a bizarre color suddenly plastered to your face would be a bit of a core memory.

"Papa, I want to learn how to make those paint bombs too."

"What for, Eto?"

"So I can throw them at Uncle Hitokawa when he barges in without manners like today."

"I'll teach you when we have time. It's simple as long as you get the ratios right."

"DON'T TEACH HER THAT!!" Hitokawa roared.

I let Hitokawa's nagging drift past me for a while, until he said something I couldn't ignore.

"...Anyway! Because of this, the CCG is actually looking for you!"

"What?"

The CCG was looking for me? Someone with nothing to hide might have brushed it off, but for me—carrying a secret that could never be revealed—tension seized my entire body.

"By some fluke, an officer who returned to the checkpoint found a few drops of what looked like human blood on the ground. The higher-ups have decided that you might either be the ghoul responsible or someone intimately involved in the case."

'...!'

The blood. I knew exactly where it had come from. It was the guitar case I'd shoved into the corner of the closet. Ordinarily, I would have sealed it so tightly not a single drop could escape, but because I'd crammed far more meat than usual into it, a gap must have formed.

The blood found at the scene was almost certainly mine.

The situation was dire. But remaining silent would only make it worse. I had to answer, and fast.

"Me, a ghoul? That's impossible, and you know it."

"I thought so too, which is why I haven't officially reported my suspicion yet. Reporting without certainty is dangerous for everyone. So, let me ask you: why were you out at that hour, in that place, when you should have been sleeping?"

I couldn't tell him the truth. What I was doing was far more troublesome than being involved in a mere murder case. I couldn't let Hitokawa suspect the truth, but I couldn't just brush him off either. If you tell one lie, you have to tell a thousand more to cover it. I'd be caught in no time.

The only way to truly deceive someone is to weave truth and lies together so perfectly they can't be untangled. A truth that could mask the lie... a truth I could actually speak...

There was one truth I could share with Hitokawa, though it was a truth I could never reveal to one specific person.

I stole a glance at Eto.

"...?" Eto tilted her head, meeting my gaze.

"Wait in the house for just a moment, okay?"

I stroked Eto's hair, then patted Hitokawa's shoulder and gestured toward the door.

"Let's go somewhere else."

"...?"

Hitokawa looked puzzled, but sensing the sudden shift in my aura, he followed me out in silence. We didn't speak until we were out of the elevator and standing outside the building's entrance.

"What is it?" Hitokawa asked.

"...."

Without a word, I pulled a small cylindrical case from my pocket and tossed it to him. Hitokawa caught it deftly, his confusion deepening as he looked at it. His eyes traced the English letters on the label.

"A-Alpra... Alprazo...?"

"Alprazolam. It's the medication I'm taking."

"Medication? Are you sick?"

"I don't know if 'sick' is the right word.... Physically, there's nothing wrong with me."

"What? Then why are you taking pills if you aren't sick?"

"Even if my body is fine, things are... wrong here."

𝘛𝘢𝘱, 𝘵𝘢𝘱.

I tapped my chest. Hitokawa furrowed his brows, clearly not understanding.

"Or maybe here." I tapped my temple.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"It's an anti-anxiety med. A sedative."

"...!?"

An anti-anxiety medication. To put it more bluntly, a psychotropic drug classified as a controlled substance. Hitokawa was speechless for a long time, clearly shocked that his friend was on such a prescription.

"You... you! Why are you on this stuff!?"

"It started after Father died, I think.... Something just broke inside. I can't even watch horror movies on TV anymore. The second a corpse appears on the screen, I'm running to the bathroom to throw up."

"Koma..."

"Hey, Hitokawa..."

Ah, I'm truly glad Eto isn't here for this.

Not just because of the content, but because the expression I was wearing right now was likely one Hitokawa had never seen before—a look of utter, hollow exhaustion.

"Do you have any idea what it feels like to have the fear of death gnawing at your mind every single day?"