The next morning, Zepar woke with a pounding headache. After his encounter at the Dancing Butterfly, he and the knights had continued drinking and singing while Orin was suspiciously absent.
"Ah, fuck," Zepar exclaimed as loud knocking on the door rang through his aching head. "Enough." He stood up and approached the door. "Stop knocking, my head feels like someone took an axe to it."
"Well that makes sense," Orin chimed through the door. "I did try to tell you to stop after drink number twenty."
"Wait, you did?" Zepar tilted his head. "I don't remember that. I don't actually remember you being there at all."
"I had an errand to run," Orin explained. "By the time I returned, you were already completely sloshed."
"So how many did I actually drink?" Zepar asked.
"After I got there? Fifty," Orin replied. "Gods know how many before then."
"At least thirty before that," Zepar said, scratching his head. "If I remember right." He looked at Orin and squinted. "Did I do anything stupid?"
"You mean besides drink enough booze to ferment your own blood?" Orin asked.
"Obviously," Zepar said in a tired voice.
"Well…" Orin thought about it. "Ah hell, you'll see for yourself downstairs. I'd rather see the look on your face than just telling you."
Zepar rolled his eyes before closing the door in Orin's face. He thought the worst was behind him until Orin's next words made him blush with embarrassment.
"Oh, and by the way, put some clothes on before you come downstairs."
He looked down and realized something he hadn't before. He was completely nude.
"Why the fuck am I naked?" Zepar demanded. "Who undressed me?"
"Um…that question has more than one answer." With that, Orin walked downstairs, leaving Zepar to his confusion as he dressed.
Several minutes later, Zepar descended the stairs with his eyes closed to the bright light of day. He felt his way to a seat and sighed. "Tea," he grumbled. "Strong tea." Suddenly, several arms wrapped around him from behind.
"Hey there, remember me?" an unfamiliar voice whispered in his ear. He spun around in his seat to see that four different young women were each trying to pull him into their arms. The one who'd whispered in his ear was grinning ear to ear, and the second he'd spun around, she tried to kiss his lips. Before she could succeed, Zepar subtly cast a barrier between their faces.
"Explain," he demanded, turning to glare at Orin. As soon as he did, however, he finally saw what he'd missed on his way down. In a corner of the tavern was a large pool with stone tiles lining it. Mounted in one of the corners of the pool was a statue of Zepar, arms spread wide as if welcoming any and all to swim. Then Zepar's eyes moved downward and he face-palmed.
Somehow, he'd used magic to set up a water filtration system. The water would be sucked into the statue through a vent in the floor of the pool, and then would flow back into the pool through the statue's…ahem.
"Years of magical study," Zepar began. "A month-long journey to discover my purpose, and my alcohol-addled brain thinks 'dick pool'?"
"For what it's worth, it's impressive," Orin said, barely keeping from laughing. "The owner actually wants it to stay, though perhaps for it to be a bit less…lewd."
"And the women?" Zepar asked, allowing them to have their fill of feeling up his exposed chest.
"Oh, nothing happened," Orin soothed his friend. "Not for lack of trying." Orin laughed, finally losing his composure. "Apparently, drunk-you is suave as hell and will hit on anything that moves."
"Anything?" Zepar asked suspiciously.
"Yeah," Orin nodded. "Anything. By the way, you never told me you could shape-shift."
"I can what?" Zepar asked, bolting up from his seat in shock.
"Yeah, you didn't know?" Orin asked in surprise. "You turned into a woman and were hitting on the men, too."
This was a shock to Zepar. He'd never even thought about flirting with men before. Still, when he thought about it, he realized he didn't really have qualms about it. He definitely preferred women, not that he'd had much experience, but the idea of sleeping with a man didn't turn him off either, especially if he could turn into a woman. Something to ponder later, he decided.
"So what stopped us from doing anything?" Zepar asked. "You said it wasn't from lack of trying."
"Oh, well…the five of you did head up to the room," Orin explained. "But they'd barely gotten your clothes off before you finally passed out." He chuckled. "I wasn't about to let them wake you up with…services, so I led them out, locked your door and called it a night myself."
Zepar looked at the four women and realized he actually felt a little bad for them. Apparently, while drunk, he'd promised them quite the experience, only to fail to deliver. He didn't value himself so little, however, to give in simply because of something he'd agreed to while drunk. But he did have another idea.
Leaning in to the woman who had tried to kiss him, Zepar whispered in her ear, making her shudder with anticipation. "Go upstairs with the others," he suggested. "I'll be up in just a moment."
She nodded eagerly before the women all joined hands and rushed up the stairs to Zepar's room.
"You're really going to sleep with them? Are you that horny?" Orin chastised.
"I thought you said you believed in me," Zepar said with a smirk as he aimed his staff at the pool. The statue of himself transformed into an orca, with the water now being shot briefly into the air through its blowhole before flowing into the pool. "Don't worry, brother-of-mine…I have a plan."