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Broken Soul

Chapter 1 - Broken Soul

It is a rainy night. How I managed to be alone is still a mystery.

The door of this isolated hut closes behind me.

The rope is attached, firmly, to the beam that holds the ceiling.

Everything is set.

As I really slowly started to reach the rusty wooden chair in the middle of the room, my raspy voice wished to express my heart's feelings, so I sang:

"π‘»π’π’…π’‚π’š π’Šπ’” 𝒕𝒉𝒆 π’…π’‚π’š. 𝑹𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔 π’‘π’‚π’Šπ’, 𝒄𝒆𝒔'𝒕 π’Žπ’š 𝒆𝒏𝒅.

𝑰 π’•π’‰π’π’–π’ˆπ’‰π’• π’”π’π’Žπ’† π’…π’‚π’š, π’†π’—π’†π’“π’šπ’•π’‰π’Šπ’π’ˆ π’˜π’π’–π’π’… 𝒃𝒆 π’π’Œπ’‚π’š. 𝑡𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒕𝒐 π’”π’‚π’š, π’Šπ’• 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 π’ˆπ’π’• π’π’Œπ’‚π’š.

𝑰 𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐 π’‘π’“π’‚π’š, π’˜π’Šπ’”π’‰π’Šπ’π’ˆ 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒅.

π‘΄π’‚π’šπ’ƒπ’† 𝒕𝒉𝒆 π’ˆπ’π’…π’” 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒇, 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝑰 π’˜π’‚π’” 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒅.

𝑹𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆, π’ƒπ’Šπ’π’…π’Šπ’π’ˆ π’Žπ’† 𝒕𝒐 𝒂 π’‘π’‚π’Šπ’π’‡π’–π’ π’‹π’‚π’Šπ’.

𝑹𝒆𝒔𝒕 π’Šπ’” 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 π’”π’‚π’…π’π’š 𝒇𝒐𝒓 π’Žπ’†, 𝑰 π’‚π’Ž 𝒄𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒅 π’Šπ’ 𝒂 π’Šπ’π’”π’π’Žπ’π’Šπ’‚π’„ π’—π’†π’Šπ’.

𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒅 𝒇𝒐𝒓 π’Šπ’•, π’‡π’“π’†π’†π’…π’π’Ž 𝒐𝒇 π’Žπ’š π’ƒπ’π’…π’š, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 π’Šπ’” 𝒏𝒐 π’‘π’π’Šπ’π’•. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 π’˜π’π’'𝒕 𝒍𝒆𝒕 π’Žπ’† π’ˆπ’.

𝑰 π’‚π’Ž 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 π’Žπ’š 𝒐𝒏𝒆 π’ƒπ’–π’…π’…π’š π’Šπ’” π’…π’Šπ’”π’‚π’‘π’‘π’π’Šπ’π’•.

𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 π’˜π’‚π’π’• 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 π’•π’π’π’Œ π’†π’—π’†π’“π’šπ’•π’‰π’Šπ’π’ˆ π’‡π’“π’π’Ž π’Žπ’†. π‘«π’Šπ’”π’ƒπ’†π’π’Šπ’†π’‡. 𝑰 π’‚π’Ž π’…π’†π’‚π’…π’π’š 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒆.

𝑰 π’•π’‰π’π’–π’ˆπ’‰π’• 𝑰 π’˜π’‚π’” π’šπ’π’–π’“ π’˜π’π’“π’π’…, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 "𝒂 𝒃𝒐𝒏𝒅 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒍", 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏, π’˜π’‰π’š π’…π’Šπ’… π’šπ’π’– 𝒂𝒃𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒅 π’Žπ’†?

𝑰 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅 π’šπ’π’–π’“ π’˜π’π’“π’…π’”, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 π’π’π’˜ π’šπ’π’– 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒓 π’‡π’“π’π’Ž π’‰π’π’Žπ’†, π’Žπ’Šπ’ˆπ’‰π’•π’š 𝒃𝒐𝒔𝒔, 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 π’šπ’π’– 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 π’Žπ’š 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒔? —𝑰 π’‚π’Ž π’ˆπ’†π’•π’•π’Šπ’π’ˆ 𝒖𝒑 𝒕𝒉𝒆 π’„π’‰π’‚π’Šπ’“, π’ˆπ’“π’‚π’”π’‘π’Šπ’π’ˆ 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒐𝒔𝒆 π’˜π’Šπ’•π’‰ π’Žπ’š 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒔— 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒅 π’†π’π’π’–π’ˆπ’‰, 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 π’„π’“π’Šπ’†π’… π’†π’π’π’–π’ˆπ’‰...

𝑢𝒉, π’Žπ’š 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕, 𝑰 π’Œπ’π’π’˜ π’šπ’π’– π’˜π’Šπ’π’ π’ˆπ’“π’Šπ’†π’—π’†, 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒖𝒔 π’˜π’†π’“π’† π’‘π’“π’π’Žπ’Šπ’”π’†π’… 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 π’•π’Šπ’π’ 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 π’Žπ’‚π’…π’† 𝒖𝒔 𝒂𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕, 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 π’˜π’‚π’” 𝒐𝒖𝒓 π’„π’‰π’‚π’“π’Ž.

𝑨 𝒇𝒍𝒐𝒓𝒂𝒍 π’ˆπ’‚π’“π’…π’†π’, 𝒂 𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 π’“π’Šπ’—π’†π’“ 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒂𝒓𝒕, 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 π’Šπ’• π’Šπ’”, π’Žπ’š 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 π‘ͺπ’‚π’“π’Ž.

𝑰'𝒅 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 π’”π’•π’‚π’š...π’‘π’“π’π’‡π’–π’”π’†π’π’š 𝒔𝒐. 𝑩𝒖𝒕 π’π’π’˜ 𝑰 π’‚π’Ž 𝒇𝒂𝒓 π’‡π’“π’π’Ž 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕.—𝑰 𝒑𝒖𝒕 π’Žπ’š 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 π’Šπ’π’”π’Šπ’…π’† 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 π’Œπ’π’π’•, π’ƒπ’“π’†π’‚π’•π’‰π’Šπ’π’ˆ π’‚π’π’™π’Šπ’π’–π’”π’π’š β€” 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 π’˜π’‚π’π’• 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆 π’šπ’π’–...𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒐 π’”π’•π’‚π’š 𝒉𝒖𝒓𝒕𝒔 π’Žπ’† 𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒕.

𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅 π’•π’‰π’Šπ’” π’‚π’π’šβ€”π‘° π’Œπ’Šπ’„π’Œ 𝒕𝒉𝒆 π’„π’‰π’‚π’Šπ’“, π’‡π’‚π’π’π’Šπ’π’ˆ π’Šπ’π’•π’ π’”π’–π’‡π’‡π’π’„π’‚π’•π’Šπ’π’β€”π’Žπ’π’“π’†..."

The pain of being unable to breath is not as painful as being tormented every day, beacuse of a irrational hate.

The pain is soon to be gone, i will be free from this world.

If the gods above are fair, we will be reunited soon, mom...

I can feel the anxiety leaving my body, just like the worries and fears inside my chest.

My vision is getting blurry, as everything it's getting dark.

Maybe death isn't so bad...

My consciousness has just woken up.

I am coming back to my senses. The thinking and the perception, are now working again.

"W-Where am I?" I said, confused about the place in which I was.

Everything is dark, and there is nothing in sight.

"Wait...I am not in there anymore! I-I...am...free?" I said, as I started to smile and cry aloud.

"I AM FINALLY FREE!" I screamed, and then started to cry even more, for the relief I felt deep inside of me.

"WAIT! Th-Then this must be-"β€”I gasped in disbeliefβ€”"Woooah." I said, for what I saw, had left me speechless.

A purple light illuminated everything repently, and now I can see an incomprehensible amount of beautiful visual stimulus. There are fantastical views everywhere, as there seems to be no limit nor end to this beautiful and colorful ocean of stars and imagination.

Each and every single one place; each milimeter, in all directions, in all senses, every piece of space, rendered to what I think, is perfection.

I can see infinite fields of grass and wonder, animals from all species, monuments made of emeralds, constellations of all forms and alienations, worlds made of rocks and others made of glass.

There are creatures of unusual anatomies, such as a bird with 3 pairs of wings and 4 legs, or a reptile with 2 wings and 4 legs, which is awesomely big.

On a desert of snow, there are entities piled one over another, making a tower of living, which, strangely, is quite amusing.

There is even a choir of tulips singing a lovable melody, making the perfect background music to the perfect show, a flawless combination.

I am floating, going from here to there; from under to above, letting time flow, as I found myself admiring in tranquility, this unprecedented place.

I am traveling the space searching only for the feelings that in the heat of the euphoria, run everywhere inside me.

This timeless footage is now deep inside of me: My paradise of sensations is a warm hug, a home, a place where there are no problems nor imprisonment. In here, to be, is to enjoy.

I have been comparing my newest look to previous ones, and I have discovered that there isn't a single instance of place or concept, equal to another. Even if they seem to be exactly the same in shape, they still have a characteristic which differentiate them apart, like the giant statues of farmer apples. One of them has a hole on its hat, which is not that big but, it still makes it unique.

They can also be really similar in colors, but they fail to be the same beacuse of a change in any part. An example of this would be the two living paintings of queens, in that case, both of them have beautiful purple dresses, but one of them has a white heart in the chest.

One composition of cosmos can be really indistinguishable to its neighbor, being an example, what I call "The Almost-Twins Mini Solar Systems" in which the two of them would be almost identical, if it wasn't beacuse one of them has a small planet with sheeps that live in it.

There are even things which are the exact opposite in material from which they are made, like the cold moon of ice, and the moon of magma.

I am still shocked by the way all of the things inside of this place, are so amusing.

I can't close my sight. Resting from this trip of ideas and manifestation of the dream-like heaven, seems like an imposible task.

I am in peace, regaining little by little a child-like amusement for discovering what is around oneself.

I am now remembering and smilling about the most impressive and exciting moments in this adventure of happiness.

The clouds of stardust that were visual art masterpieces, the mini bands of roses and the army of butterflies. I can almost feel as comfortable as the great human made of wood, who was just relaxing in a bed made of stone and saluted me when I got past him. Such a nice guy.

The time I have spent here, is now countless. I don't know, and I don't care. It is now pointless to count or recall it, for it has lost its value. I could have been here for days now, and that wouldn't matter to me.

I can't imagine me, in anywhere but in here, because the joy and the tranquility that are flowing through my heart, are indescriptible; something that I have never felt before, a state of pure enlightenment to my soul.

This cumulus of crazy and marvelous inventions is making for what I lived. Each second here is a punishment being rewarded.

Is it only me? Am I the only soul in here? There doesn't seem like any other is present in my heaven, maybe the souls are not meant to be together in the eternal rest.

Such a pity that I will not see mom again...

While I was thinking about the uniqueness of this palace of dreams, all of a sudden, a giant dark blue eye appeared. It is staring at me.

At the same time, some weird blue and yellow symbols popped up of nowhere, and started to revolve around me.

At the same time a lot of thin lime green light lines covered me from my neck below, like a coat.

I have started to be pulled backwards to I don't know where nor how. I can feel an indescriptible force attempting to drive me in an uncertain direction. The symbols stay around me, emitting a bright light of each color.

Almost simultaneously, an unexplainable sensation has also appeared, and it is a fearsome one. Even though I don't have a body, I am feeling a devastating pain through my whole soul.

"AAAAGH!" I screamed, suffering from the now, violent sensation.

My head is boiling, the inmense headache I am experiencing is devastating. I feel like my mind and consciousness are going to explode.

The whole me is feeling like something is coming from deep inside to the exterior of my existence. Something is being subtracted from me.

The symbols have started to manifest some kind of grey light ropes. From each symbol a rope comes out and come to me. All of them, are entering my soul, and the pain of being pierced by such things is horrifying.

I am crying and screaming aloud. I am giving it my all to try and stop this nightmare-like situation for continuing. As the pain increases, I am more and more apart from the initial point.

I think I know now what the gray ropes were doing to me. They were taking way something from inside me.

It is a colorful self, a being that has the same face as me. She is coming out of me, with a face that is resembling the pain I feel, with her head now separated from mine.

Something is separating me from myself. The me who thinks, and the me who feels, both of ourselves, beeing extirpated of one another.

I can sense it. My feelings and emotions, being pulled onwards, from my soul and consciousness.

I am in pure desperation and fear, for my memories have started to leave me. The joyful and the sad days, the people I am fond of and all of those whom I hate, the places where I once stayed and laughed at, and even what I've experienced in here, being forcibly removed while all I can do is to forget and to suffer.

Her torso is now out of me, just like her arms to her elbows, which are covered by the ropes, forcing her away.

The more we separate, the less of me I can recall and feel, now there is no longer sadness nor fear for this situation.

She is a half of me, and without her, my soul would be broken. I would be empty, a carcass of thoughts and perception, unable to fully experience anything, for I would be emotionless, an incomplete self. And with my memories abandoning me this fast, it is uncertain what will happen if we do separate completely. Now we are only holding hands.

I am being pulled, moving backwards to an uncertain where. I am watching with confusion and awkwardness the place I am in, looking everywhere, attempting to recognize what is this weird place.

A bunch green light lines are around me, covering me, and a big eye is looking at me from some distance.

I can sense how there is something missing. There are quite the colorful structures and animals everywhere, and yet, they fail to amuse me.

I have been trying to understand why I am apathetic about all of this. I have searched profusely and with all the intention to at least have a glimpse of emotion, a reaction, or skip a beat, but those reactions are never to be found.

Lost and puzzled, such a disastrous moment in which I am. The judge of the universe has sentenced me to be drived by an unknown what to an unknown where, emotionless and pale about what is around me in this existence.

I have just found myself with an unexplainable sensation. There is another girl in this place, whom I believe I've seen before. But I don't remember from where. It may be a deja vu.

She is just floating, apparently feeling unwell. She is turning her head at one direction and then to the next, while tears come out of her eyes non-stop. It appears that she is feeling quite a lot, and it doesn't seem like she is enjoying the event.

An inexplicable "I am positive" has striked me. I think that she isn't capable of processing nor understanding anything that comes to her. There are thin but visible waves of colors enveloping her. They are all warm colors, like red and orange, all at synchrony hitting her as a planned party of harassment.

I've been trying to reach out for her, but the more I try, the more useless my efforts seem.

I believe that if she keeps being on her own, she just will end up beeing tormented by this overflow of sentimentalism.

The further we separate, the more anxious my mind becomes, because of how unnerving this footage is: a girl crying and screaming, while she is hugging herself. She looks overwhelmed, seeking consolation in her own arms, but it doesn't look like she is getting any progress. Truly, a disturbing scene.

I can't close my sight, no matter how much I think about it, it doesn't make any sense to leave someone alone in that state. But the more I resist, the stronger I am being pulled, and now, we are too far away for me to help her out. For her, those endless feelings, are hell.

The pulling's acceleration has greatly increased. The green lines are now so bright they almost blind me. The eye's staring is the only thing I can see, for it is clear and unnervingly direct with its looking.

The faster I go, the darker and plainer everything around me becomes, and my perception of the environment becomes useless.

The colors and forms present where the girl was, are no more.

The music produced by the finest unhuman musicians, is now muted.

The illumination of a infinite room of creativity and fantasy, is now being extinguished.

My consciousness is...starting to faint...

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