you decide to have a government sponsored tv show
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"I want to launch a government-sponsored television program," you announce to the assembled inner circle. "A monthly broadcast. Breast beauty pageant."
Grace blinks. "What the fuck kind of show is that?"
"Ten contestants per episode," you continue methodically. "Random selection from the adult population. Participants judged on size, shape, how well their clothing displays their breasts, and finally how well they shake them naked for the camera. Each person appears once unless every other citizen has already participated. Eighteen and over only."
Victoria frowns slightly. "That seems... oddly specific."
Maxine tilts her head. "What's the objective?"
Tina—who'd been summoned specifically for this meeting—suddenly grins widely. "Oh fuck yes! Everyone's gonna love that shit! Every single bitch in the empire would fucking kill for a chance to shake her tits on TV like that. The transformation programming makes everyone horny as hell—they'll eat this up!"
The entire inner circle pauses, then breaks into laughter simultaneously.
"Holy shit," Grace wheezes. "She's right. We only find you and our harem sisters attractive, so we forget everyone else is constantly desperate for sexual attention!"
Victoria composes herself first, though her lips still twitch with amusement. "Initial interest will be high, but once the novelty wears off, viewership will plummet."
You smirk. "The show's rigged. Every participant receives a cash prize just for appearing. The winner gets a guaranteed ticket to the next episode."
"And who wins the first show?" Athena asks.
You gesture casually. "Mystique. Her breasts have a diameter of one and a half meters each. No one else comes remotely close. She'll dominate the size category alone."
Riveria shifts uncomfortably. "Shapeshifters can manipulate their forms. Won't that create fairness issues?"
"All shapeshifters have a default state when their powers are nullified," you explain flatly. "That's what gets judged. This is government-sponsored programming—the loyalty programming prevents cheating. Mystique's default size is exactly what I ordered it to be."
Grace starts laughing again, harder this time. "We're creating softcore porn as official government fucking television! Every citizen who isn't in our harem will be glued to their screens watching women shake their naked tits!"
The entire inner circle dissolves into laughter again.
"Cortana," you call through the ship's systems. "Schedule production. First episode broadcasts in thirty days."