I gazed at Finn dumbstruck as he stoked the fire. He returned to my side, taking my hand in his. When his fingers brushed mine, my skin ignited. It was a cruel irony - the mate bond didn't care about the blood on his hands. It only cared about the heat of his palm.
My wolf whined, a submissive, pathetic sound that made me want to throw up. I jerked back, the friction of our skin sparking like flint. The look on Finn's face wasn't just confusion; it was a physical blow. I could feel the tether between us fraying, the golden thread turning into a barbed wire fence.
I had to know. My heart wanted to love him, my soul needed to love him, but the static and my head were conflicted. How could I possibly love the man who killed my mother? Who stole my chance to know her? Not only that, but if the truth of it is that her downfall was the fall of an entire pack - the pack I suddenly felt responsible for deep down in my core, then was he really the right choice for me? No, that settled it. I had to know. Whatever the consequence.
"Finn..." I started. He turned to face me. The pain in his eyes was unbearable. I took a deep breath, focusing myself on the sound and scent of the fresh rain hammering down outside. "Elias said you were there. In the palace. When my mother died... where were you?"
A flash of guilt flickered in his golden eyes, then coldness. He turned back towards the fire, I felt a wedge form between us, a strain on the bond.
"I was doing my duty, Selina. I was a soldier. Soldiers don't always get to choose which side of the door they stand on."
It was a cold, vague answer, but before I could prod any deeper into it a loud growl erupted from my stomach.
The hunger didn't start in my stomach; it started in my teeth. My mouth watered, a thick, predatory saliva pooling under my tongue. I could smell a rabbit three hundred yards away, huddling under a wet log. I could see the pulse of its jugular in my mind's eye. I wasn't thinking about berries or bread anymore. I wanted something that was still warm.
Finn's nostrils flared—he could smell my arousal for the hunt. It was the only thing we agreed on at that moment; the need for blood.
Meat. We need fresh meat. My wolf demanded.
"You're hungry." Finn stood almost immediately. "I'll go and see what I can find."
Before I could protest he had picked up his blades, grabbed his torn, blood soaked shirt from the floor and left. I could tell through our bond that my doubt was crushing him. If he needed space then that was fine - I could probably use some too.
I turned to Elias then.
He was the one who initially planted this seed of doubt. Perhaps he could tell me what Finn wasn't.
"Elias" I turned to face him. He seemed more relaxed than before, the scent of fear beginning to dissipate. I drew in a deep breath and as I breathed out I tried to focus on that Alpha spark, that fog that had rendered Finn immobile, to get the truth from Elias. "What happened that night?"
I didn't just ask Elias. I commanded him. I let the silver haze of my aura fill the small cave until the air felt heavy, like the minutes before a tornado.
Elias's eyes went wide, his pupils dilating until the brown was gone. He wasn't just answering a girl; he was answering his Queen.
His voice was a flat, toneless drone, as if the truth was being dragged out of his lungs by a hook. "He had a silver blade," Elias whispered, his body trembling under the weight of my gaze. "And when he walked out, the Queen's scent was so thick on him it was like he'd bathed in her soul."
Using the command on Elias felt different than using it on Finn. With Finn, it was a battle. With Elias, it was like stepping on a dry twig. The power tasted like ozone and authority, and it scared me how much I liked the weight of it.
"Tell me exactly what happened." I demanded, loosening my hold over him slightly.
"I..." He stuttered, looking towards the cave entrance, the fear beginning to resurface. "I saw him, Alpha. That night... Finn was the one who entered the Queen's inner sanctum. He had a silver blade. When he came out... he was covered in her scent. He never told anyone what happened inside that room."
"And you are a hundred percent certain that that is what you saw?" I demanded.
"On my life. To this day he still has not spoken about what happened in that room."
The world began to spin, uncertainty lacing through me like silver thread. How could this be true? How could he fill me with so much joy when it turns out he was the cause of me not knowing who I was all these years?
But then, Elias did not see blood, he did not see him kill her. He only saw him enter and leave. This wasn't infallible proof. I felt more conflicted than ever.
At that moment, Finn returned. His shirt and hands were soaked in blood, a fresh kill slumped over his shoulder.
Finn dropped the carcass by the fire, the metallic scent of blood filling the small cave.The firelight danced over the blood on his knuckles - dark, wet, and glistening.
He looked like the god of the hunt and the demon of my nightmares all at once.
He offered me the heart of the kill - the highest honour for a mate. He didn't just offer it in fact; he held it out with a reverence that made my own heart ache. The raw heart pulsed with a fading warmth in his crimson-stained palm.
In his eyes, this was an apology, a peace offering. In my mind, it was a grisly reminder of what his hands were capable of. As I looked at his red-stained fingers, I wondered if perhaps he had offered my mother's heart to Kaelin in the same way...