One day, as I was sitting in class, a phone suddenly rang. Surprised, I looked around, trying to find where the sound was coming from—only to realize it was ringing inside Tushig's bag. He quickly pulled it out and silenced it.
"My parents bought me a phone," he said. "I was going to tell you after class, love."
"Oh, really? That's nice," I replied without much thought.
At the time, mobile phones had just begun to appear in our country, so none of our classmates had one. After class, everyone gathered around him, curious and excited, examining the device. It was a Nokia model. Watching them, I found myself wishing I had a phone too. I imagined how wonderful it would be—to have my own number, to call him whenever I wanted, to go home and talk to him without ever wondering what he might be doing.
"I'll write my number down for you," Tushig said. "You can text me from your mom's phone, okay?"
I didn't even know how to send a message, so he patiently taught me. I carefully copied everything into my notebook—letter by letter, transliterating each one: A, B, C, D… until I could write something simple like "Hi, what are you doing?"
But slowly, I began to notice something—our time together was growing shorter.
A thought suddenly crossed my mind: Who had called him earlier?
When I asked, he replied, "It was my aunt. She told me to come over for dinner tonight."
Even though it meant we wouldn't spend the evening together, I believed him and calmed myself. Still, I didn't yet understand that a woman's intuition is often true. Deep down, I wondered if he might be meeting someone else—but I trusted him too much to say it aloud.
Days passed, and before I knew it, winter had arrived. The New Year celebration was approaching, and the university announced a grand party. This year, it would be a masquerade—everyone would wear costumes and hide their identities behind masks.
I began preparing early. I even chose matching outfits for Tushig and me. As always, he quietly agreed to whatever I suggested.
The day of the celebration finally came.
Among the first-year students, we had already become known as "the lovebirds." That night, he dressed as a noble prince, and I became a beautiful princess. Together, we danced in the center of the hall, as if we were the main characters of a fairytale.
Then suddenly, a girl in a pure white dress entered the room.
All eyes turned toward her.
Zorigoo, Tushig's roommate, stepped forward and began dancing with her. The party grew livelier—students drank beer, laughter filled the air, and everything seemed to blur into a dizzying celebration.
At some point, I realized Tushig was no longer beside me.
Confused, I went looking for him. I checked the restroom—he wasn't there. As I walked back through a narrow corridor, I noticed the door to a classroom slightly ajar. Just as I was about to enter, I heard his voice.
I froze.
Inside, a girl was crying, leaning against his shoulder.
I stopped myself from stepping in and listened.
"I love you," she said through her tears. "You love me too—so why didn't you ask me to dance?"
Tushig replied softly,
"I love you too. But I can't hurt Gerlee. When the time is right, I'll tell her the truth. Please… just wait for me."
In that moment, everything inside me went dark.
Tears streamed down my face before I could stop them. My heart ached with a pain I had never known.
I pushed the door open and walked in, crying.
"What did you just say, Tushig?" I shouted. "Do you not love me? Why?!"
They both turned toward me, startled, stepping away from each other.
And the girl… it was Nomin—from room 105.
Tushig stepped toward me.
"Love, let me explain—"
But I didn't want to hear it. I could no longer believe his words.
"How could you do this to me?" I cried. "I gave you everything, and you've been secretly seeing her? Since when?"
He said nothing. He just looked at me.
"Choose right now," I demanded. "Her or me?"
"I'm sorry, Gerlee… I never meant to hurt you—"
Before he could finish, I turned and ran out of the classroom.
I ran through the school doors into the freezing night, still wearing my thin dress and light coat. I didn't stop running. I just kept going—crying, breathless, shattered.
It felt as if something inside me had been violently torn apart.
Eventually, I took a taxi home. I was so cold that I fell ill—catching a severe cold that turned into pneumonia. I stayed home for days, unable even to attend classes.
Later, Bilgee—Tushig's roommate—told me the truth.
It had started the day Nomin kissed him during that card game. From that moment on, Tushig had developed feelings for her. He pursued her, and eventually, they began secretly dating. By the time of the New Year, they had already been together for three months.
He hadn't told me because he knew I had been hurt before. He didn't want to hurt me again.
But betrayal…
Betrayal is a terrible feeling.
After that, I began to wonder—
Would I ever be able to trust anyone again?