The cold wind cut my skin as I stared at the empty road laid out ahead of me.
'Exactly—you will die, your body isn't capable of handling essence after all.'
'My body isn't capable? But I have been using it the entire time.'
'Yes, but you are not supposed to be able to. It makes your essence tear through you, instead of spreading normally, and the more you gather—the worse it becomes.'
'Worse?' I looked at my arms that were in front of me.
'Exactly, they were destroyed when you used it—they should have been torn off.'
'Torn off... so if I don't gather it, it's fine?'
'No, let me continue.'
'So I've noticed something, I don't completely understand it yet but... each time you kill beasts the essence inside you runs rampant—as if your body is absorbing its essence.'
'Whatever it is... it's multiplying the damage your body is taking!'
'So I need to stop killing beasts, and not use essence...' I held myself back from pulling on the reins.
'That's impossible! Even here at this lake we got attacked... and this journey is far from over yet...' My gaze slipped down to the bumpy road.
'And I don't even know how the healing works, which is the only reason why I am still alive!'
'And you're right, you should have died already, but something is keeping you alive... there is something strange going on with your essence—and I don't need my past to feel it.'
'If it's in my essence shouldn't you be able to see it?'
'I tried it... but I couldn't—it was as if I was getting burned as I tried to break through.'
'Like a place not meant for me...'
'But it's something that protects me isn't it?'
'Uh... yes. You're right.'
'Why do you sound disappointed, isn't it a good thing?'
'Normally... but you are too reckless!'
'...that might be, but I have no other choice. But how can I use essence, because that problem is still there.'
"Tjer look! The cloud looks like the piece of steak from yesterday!" Mim sat next to me, pointing her finger at the partially white sky.
"Hahaha, yes it does right?" I chose to just go along with her,
Isn't it just a normal cloud?
'Okay there are two ways.'
'The easiest one is to use the bracelet on your si—'
'No. Next one.'
'I expect that...'
'The other choice is for me to teach you... and you remember how that went last time, right!?'
'Sorry about that...'
'But can you even teach this—without your memories?'
'This feels different... I am able to read your essence, and your fighting style... from the way you hold your sword, down to your footwork—I can strangely understand it.'
'Maybe you were amazing in the past!' I said, making sure that Mim could not hear me snicker.
'... maybe.'
It was a voice that sounded hurt—almost nostalgic, but once again I was unable to find the words to say.
'Is that of importance for my essence—did you notice something?!'
'Yes. Your technique is incomplete.'
'Incomplete?'
'Each strike you deflect, each strike you give, and each step you take. They are all lacking something. It feel like you're trying to read—not by knowing the letters, no—just by looking at it.'
'It simply doesn't work like that.'
Is this what my father wanted to teach me?
'And those breaths you take, they let your essence flood, but without a vessel to contain it—it bursts.'
'So the breathing you do, is not fit for this body—it's not ready for this body.'
'It's as if you are writing without knowing the letters—that is the best example for it. And normally the progress would not go as fast, but yours is amplified like I said.'
'Whoever taught you that should feel ashamed.'
'...to be honest it was my dad.'
'Uh... I'm sorry.'
'No, no don't worry. He had told me not to copy his breathing, but I just absorbed how to... and in the forest it just came out.'
'So it's not because of your dad?'
'No, it's because of me—'
'It isn't, and don't worry we'll fix it. But I wonder... who was your dad to use essence even in that town?'
'I wonder that myself... I just know he isn't from Kage—but I don't know where he came from, nor our last name.'
'He always told me we didn't have one, after I found out what it was...' I smiled softly, looking at the pebbles that would go to make the carriage shake.
'You should be thankful to him—even these incomplete techniques fit the current you perfectly.'
'I always will be—he was my dad after all.' I looked up at the blue, darkening sky—keeping the same smile on my face.
'...'
'What do you actually mean by the current me?'
'I thought that you might have noticed, but this technique is perfect for a weaker person—like children for example. It's one that uses the opponents momentum against them, readying them for a critical hit.'
'So if I grow older, or stronger it would lose its advantage?'
'You have not noticed it, but you're already strong enough. Once you lose the height and weight disadvantage—you lose that synergy.'
'But the current you is still perfect with it, and you will find a solution, from learning a new technique, to creating your own—the options are endless.'
'Wait my own? Do I not need to have a lot of experience and all that?'
'Uhm... maybe? I felt like it would be easy... but indeed that isn't logical—my knowledge ends here...'
'But in any case don't worry about the future, just focus on now.'
'Of course. We need to survive now—before I can think of the future.' I turned my head to Mim who had just left my side—lying in the back of the carriage.
'But when do you think we can start training?' I looked ahead of me again.
'You need to understand it's different training from normal—you'll see when we reach the next town.''But we should start as early as possible.'
'Okay, we'll find a moment in the new town.'
Finally a new sight.