I didn't know what scared me more.
The way he said it—
or the way I felt when he did.
To me.
The words didn't sound like a threat. They didn't feel like something forced or cruel. If anything, they were quiet. Certain. Like a truth that had already existed long before I had asked the question.
And that was exactly why it unsettled me.
Because some part of me… believed him.
I took a step back.
Finally.
Not because I wanted distance—but because I needed to remind myself that I still could.
"You don't get to decide that," I said, even though my voice lacked the strength I wanted it to have.
Lucian didn't move.
Didn't argue.
Didn't look offended.
He just watched me.
Like he was waiting.
Not for me to fight him.
But for me to understand.
"I didn't decide it," he said calmly. "It already is."
My chest tightened. "That doesn't make any sense."
"It will."
The certainty in his voice made my thoughts feel slower, heavier, like I was already falling into something I couldn't see.
I shook my head, trying to clear it. "No. You don't get to say things like that and just—leave it there. I'm not something you can just claim because it's convenient for you."
At that, something shifted in his expression.
Not anger.
Something sharper.
More dangerous.
"Convenient?" he repeated quietly.
The word sounded wrong coming from him.
Like it didn't belong in his world.
"I didn't say it was easy for me," he continued, his voice dropping slightly. "Or that it was something I wanted."
That made me pause.
"What does that mean?"
Silence followed.
Heavy.
And then—
he looked away.
Just for a second.
But it was enough.
Because it was the first time I had seen him do it.
The first time he hadn't held my gaze like it was the only thing that mattered.
"You should go home," he said instead.
The sudden change made my stomach twist. "Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Change the subject like it doesn't matter."
His eyes returned to mine, and this time there was something darker in them. Not cold. Not distant.
Conflicted.
"It matters more than you understand," he said.
"Then help me understand."
Another pause.
Another silence that felt like it was hiding too much.
"I can't," he said finally.
Frustration flared inside me, quick and sharp. "Or you won't?"
"That depends on how much you're willing to lose."
The words hit harder than they should have.
"What am I supposed to lose?"
His gaze didn't soften.
"Everything that makes this feel normal."
I let out a quiet breath, shaking my head slightly. "It already doesn't feel normal, Lucian."
His name slipped out before I could stop it.
Not forced.
Not hesitant.
Natural.
And something about that—
something about the way I said it—
changed the air between us again.
He stilled.
Completely.
Like the world had just paused around him.
My heart skipped.
"What?" I asked softly, suddenly aware of the way he was looking at me again.
But this time—
it wasn't just intense.
It was something else.
Something deeper.
"You said my name," he murmured.
The way he said it—
like it meant something more than it should—
made my chest tighten.
"It's your name," I replied, though my voice had dropped without permission.
"Not like that."
My breath caught.
I didn't know what he meant.
Or maybe I did.
And that was worse.
"I didn't say anything differently," I whispered.
"You did."
The certainty in his voice made something inside me shift again, something quiet and unfamiliar that I couldn't quite name.
He took a step closer.
And I didn't step back this time.
"I've heard my name for a long time," he continued, his gaze never leaving mine. "From people who feared me. From people who wanted something from me. From people who didn't understand what they were speaking to."
A faint shiver ran through me.
"But you," he said more softly, "you said it like it belonged to you."
My breath faltered.
"I didn't—"
"You did."
The interruption wasn't harsh.
But it was firm.
Final.
And the way he said it—
like it mattered—
made my heart beat faster in a way I couldn't control.
"That doesn't mean anything," I said quickly, trying to regain some sense of normalcy.
But even as I said it—
I wasn't sure I believed it.
His eyes darkened slightly.
"It means more than you think."
The silence that followed felt different now.
Not tense.
Not heavy.
Something else.
Something that felt like it was pulling us closer instead of pushing us apart.
And that terrified me.
Because I didn't know how to stop it.
"You should go home," he said again, quieter this time.
But now—
it didn't sound like avoidance.
It sounded like restraint.
"Are you coming with me?" I asked before I could stop myself.
The moment the words left my lips—
I felt it.
That shift.
That line I had just crossed without thinking.
Lucian didn't answer immediately.
But his gaze changed.
Deepened.
Focused.
Like I had just said something important.
Something dangerous.
"You want me to?" he asked.
The question was simple.
But the way he said it—
low, deliberate—
made my pulse quicken.
"I…" I hesitated.
Because I didn't know how to answer that.
Did I want him there?
Did I feel safer with him?
Or was I just getting used to something I shouldn't be?
"I don't know," I admitted finally.
It was the most honest answer I could give.
And somehow—
it felt like enough.
He nodded once.
Slowly.
"I'll walk you."
My heart skipped again.
Not because of what he said.
But because of how easily he said it.
Like it wasn't a favor.
Like it wasn't a question.
Like it was something he had already decided.
I swallowed, trying to ignore the warmth spreading through my chest. "You don't have to."
"I know."
And yet—
he was still here.
Still choosing to stay.
Still choosing me.
I turned toward the door, my fingers brushing lightly against the handle before I paused.
For just a second.
Long enough to feel it again—
that strange pull.
That quiet, dangerous connection I didn't understand.
I glanced back at him.
And he was already looking at me.
Like he had been waiting.
Like he always would.
And for reasons I couldn't explain—
I didn't feel alone anymore.
Not with him there.
Not with the darkness outside.
Not even with everything I didn't understand.
But as I stepped out into the night, with him walking beside me—
close enough that I could feel his presence, steady and constant—
a thought settled quietly into my mind.
One I couldn't ignore anymore.
I wasn't just getting used to him.
I was starting to want him there.
And I had a feeling…
that was exactly how this was supposed to go.