James's POV
The third day in the hospital feels like the hundredth day.
James hasn't slept more than an hour at a time. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees the woman in blue laughing at something he said. Every time he opens them, he remembers that it's been three years and she's gone. The cycle keeps repeating. Sleep. Dream. Wake. Remember loss all over again.
It's torture.
His body still hurts but the physical pain is nothing compared to the panic that's living in his chest. Marcus told him to rest. The doctors told him to rest. Everyone keeps saying the same thing but nobody understands that resting is impossible when you just woke up missing the most important person in your life.
The door opens.
Marcus walks in carrying coffee and the expression of someone who hasn't slept either. He looks older than James remembers from two days ago. Worn down. Like he's been carrying something heavy for a very long time.
"You're awake," Marcus says. He pulls up a chair without being asked. This is a man who's comfortable in hospital rooms. Who's done this before.
"Marcus," James says. His voice is better today. Less broken. "I need you to help me find her."
Marcus sets the coffee on the table and sits down slowly. He doesn't answer right away. He just looks at James like he's trying to figure out where to start explaining something complicated.
"Find who?" Marcus asks even though they both know.
"Rachel," James says. "My wife. I need her number. I need her address. I need to know where she is and I need to contact her. She needs to know I'm here. She needs to know I'm hurt."
Marcus is very still.
He looks at James the way people look at sick animals. With pity. With sadness. With the knowledge that something important is about to happen and it won't be good.
"James," Marcus says slowly. He takes a breath like he's bracing for impact. "Rachel left you almost three years ago. You divorced. It's been finalized for a long time."
The words hit James but they don't land. They don't make sense.
"What do you mean she left me?" James asks. "Three years ago I was just married to her. I was just at the office thinking about how I needed to spend more time with her. That's my last clear memory. That's the last moment I can hold onto."
Marcus nods like he expected this answer.
"That moment," Marcus says carefully. "That was the beginning. That was the moment she realized she was losing you even though you were still standing right there. She was patient for a while. She waited for things to change. She believed you when you said you'd balance work and marriage. But things didn't change. You got busier. More distracted. More obsessed with the company."
James closes his eyes but that doesn't help. The blue dress is still there waiting for him in the darkness.
"You chose the company," Marcus continues. "Every single day you chose Ashford Industries. You chose meetings over anniversaries. You chose deals over conversations. You chose money over her. And one day she was done waiting."
"I would have changed," James says. His voice is quiet. Desperate. "If I had known it mattered that much I would have changed."
"That's the thing about love," Marcus says. His voice is kind but it cuts deeper than anger ever could. "It shouldn't have to threaten to leave before you realize it matters. It shouldn't have to break itself on your ambition before you figure out what's important."
James feels something crack open inside him. Not just crack. Shatter. Like there was a part of himself that was still whole and now it's not. Now it's pieces.
"When did she leave?" James asks.
"Two weeks after that moment you remember," Marcus says. "She tried talking to you about it. You promised things would change. You promised you'd be more present. But you didn't mean it. Or maybe you meant it in the moment but you couldn't follow through. Either way, she realized the marriage was already over. She just had to catch up to that reality."
"How did she leave?" James asks. He's trying to piece this together. Trying to understand the woman in blue and how she turned into an absence.
"In the middle of the night," Marcus says. "Packed a bag. Left a note on your desk. By the time you got home from the office, she was already gone. You called me crying. Actually crying. That was the first time I'd ever heard you cry about anything that wasn't business related."
James tries to imagine that. Tries to imagine being the kind of person who cried about losing his wife. Tries to imagine being the kind of person who cared about something beyond his empire. He can't quite picture it.
"Where did she go?" James asks.
"I don't know," Marcus says. "She didn't tell anyone. She just disappeared. Filed for divorce through lawyers. Never once contacted you directly. You tried finding her for a while but she was good at staying hidden. Eventually you stopped trying. You told everyone she was weak for not understanding what it took to run a company. You told yourself it was her loss. You buried yourself deeper in work."
That sounds like something James would do. That sounds like the kind of man who would take a broken heart and use it as fuel for ambition. The kind of man who would turn pain into power.
The kind of man James hates right now.
"I need to find her," James says. "I need to apologize. I need to explain that I understand now. That I see what I did. That I would do everything differently."
Marcus leans forward.
"James," he says. "The man you're trying to apologize to Rachel for being is the man who built Ashford Industries into what it is today. The man who chose the company was also the man who saved your family's legacy. He was ruthless and he was brilliant and he hurt people he loved. You can't separate those things. You can't apologize for being that man without apologizing for everything he built."
"Then I apologize for all of it," James says immediately. "I apologize for all of it and I mean it."
Marcus studies him for a long moment.
"You should know something," Marcus says finally. "She came by the office."
James's heart stops.
"What?" James says. "When? Recently? Is she coming back?"
"No," Marcus says. "Years ago. Right after the divorce was finalized. She came to pick up some things she left behind. Clothes. Books. Personal stuff. I saw her in the hallway. She looked different. Stronger. Like she'd spent three years building herself back from the person you were breaking her down into."
"What did you say to her?" James asks.
"Nothing," Marcus says. "I didn't know what to say. She looked at me like she was trying to figure out if I was going to tell you she was there. When she realized I wasn't going to, she just left. That was the last time I saw her. That was the last time anyone who knew her saw her."
James feels panic rising in his chest. She's been gone for three years. She's built a new life. She's probably married someone else by now. Someone better. Someone who would choose her over everything.
"I'm going to find her," James says. "The moment I get out of this bed, I'm going to find her and I'm going to make this right."
"James," Marcus says. "I don't think that's a good idea. You need to focus on recovery. You need to focus on the company. You need to focus on the future, not the past."
"The past is all I have," James says. "The future is blank. Everything after her is gone. There's nothing else in my head except the moment she was laughing at me in that blue dress and then three years of nothing."
Marcus stands up.
"When the doctors clear you to go home," Marcus says slowly. "We're going to have a lot to talk about. The company has changed. Your position has changed. Some decisions have been made in your absence. It's not going to be easy coming back."
"I don't care about easy," James says. "I don't care about the company. I care about finding my wife."
Marcus walks to the door. He pauses with his hand on the frame.
"Be careful what you wish for," Marcus says quietly. "Sometimes the people we lose stay lost for a reason. Sometimes the past stays in the past because the present is the only thing we can actually control."
After Marcus leaves, James stares at the ceiling and thinks about the woman in blue.
He thinks about her smile.
He thinks about the moment she realized she was alone in a marriage with someone who was busy building an empire.
He thinks about walking into his office two weeks from now and finding out that his entire life is different.
He doesn't know it yet but that's exactly what's going to happen.
The woman he's desperate to find is going to be sitting at a desk in his office building. She's going to be his secretary. She's going to be working by his side every single day while he tries to figure out why she affects him so deeply.
She's going to be close enough to touch.
Close enough to love again.
Close enough to break all over again.
But she's going to be hiding who she really is.
And when James figures out the truth, everything is going to explode in ways neither of them can predict.
The woman in blue is going to become a ghost that he can see but can't quite reach. A memory that walks and talks and works beside him. A second chance that only exists if he can find the courage to take it.
And the question that will drive the next hundred chapters is simple but devastating.
Can you fall in love with someone twice when the first time you fell in love with them, you were too busy to notice they were already gone?