He remained seated, still trying to process everything that had happened in such a short time: arriving in a completely new world, building a shelter, even ending up in prison—all of that in less than three days.
And there he was, sitting on the hot ground beside a couple of unconscious dwarves and a lizard that did nothing but insult him while demanding impossible things. Froggy gradually steadied his breathing, which had been ragged from his battle with the lizard.
This world had exhausted him, wrung him dry. Maybe he hadn't been lucky when it came to making decisions, but he really wished someone would at least give him a pair of pants.
Froggy sighed.
Then he began checking the system.
Because if there was one thing he knew for certain, it was that life is life—you never know what it's going to throw at you. And in video games, whenever you defeat an enemy, you always check the loot. And if the fight he had just gone through didn't count as a boss battle, then nothing would.
—System.
[SYSTEM NOTICE]
"You have two notifications available."
—Alright, system. What do you have for me?
He ran his tongue over his lips, savoring the juicy reward waiting for him.
[TWO REWARDS FOR DEFEATING THE ABSOLUTE LAVA LIZARD]
Froggy raised an eyebrow.
—Two? That's strange.
[Would you like to see them?]
[Yes] [No]
Froggy pressed [Yes].
[Are you really sure you want to see them?]
[Yes] [No]
Froggy pressed [Yes] again.
[SYSTEM NOTICE]
[You have received the reward.]
A light began to shine in front of him. Trumpets started blaring from who-knows-where, a cloud appeared above his head, the sky opened, and an object began descending.
Froggy caught it with both hands, arms wide open.
[SYSTEM NOTICE]
[You obtained Mysterious Mask.]
—A mask? You call this a reward?
The lizard got up at the sound and slowly walked toward Froggy.
—What is that, human?
—A mask.
—It looks strange.
—Let's see what it does.
[Item Description]
[Mysterious Mask]
Description: A mask that makes its wearer look mysterious.
—Mysterious?
—I recommend you wear it, mortal. That way you can hide that ugly face of yours. It hurts to look at.
—WHO ARE YOU CALLING UGLY, DWARF LIZARD?
—WHO ARE YOU CALLING DWARF, MORTAL?
Another battle nearly started, but Froggy ignored it for the moment. There was another reward to claim.
[REWARD FOR DEFEATING THE ABSOLUTE LAVA LIZARD]
[Claim] [Claim]
—Huh?
Froggy pressed [Claim].
The screen flickered.
Loading...
It lasted several seconds.
—Hey, you're taking way too long.
[REWARD OBTAINED]
[You obtained Starter Pack Chest Key]
[Accept]
Froggy pressed [Accept].
The key materialized in his hands.
—And what am I supposed to do with this?
There was nothing in the menu about where to use the key.
—Maybe here?
[SYSTEM NOTICE]
[Would you like to use Copper Key to unlock Starter Pack?]
[Yes] [No]
—How annoying.
There was way too much paperwork just to claim a simple reward.
Froggy pressed [Yes].
The key vanished from his hands.
[REWARD OBTAINED]
"Congratulations, you obtained Sacred Underwear SSR."
[Claim]
—What?
Description: Tired of normal underwear? We offer you the new SSR green underwear collection. Ideal for a hero in need. Equip it and increase your endurance by 60%! That's right, 60%! Who needs pants anyway?
—...
A laugh began to ring out, coming from a small being who had also read the description.
—Unde... UNDERWEAR! HAHAHA! You... you are without a doubt the most pathetic human I have ever known!
Froggy had to drag his soul back into his body before it escaped.
—I-it's not funny. It just needs a few adjustments and—
—Sure, sure! Enjoy your sacred underwear, human! HAHAHA!
The laughter continued. Froggy shook his head. He had to admit it—the stats were too good to reject...
[SYSTEM NOTICE]
[Sacred Underwear SSR has been automatically equipped.]
—...
The lizard kept laughing.
—SHUT UP ALREADY, POCKET LIZARD!
—LIZARD OF WHAT?! —The laughter stopped instantly.
Another battle almost began, but both restrained themselves. Their previous fights had already shown how it would end. Why waste energy?
—I'll let it slide this time, mortal.
—My name is Green Froggy, —said Green Froggy.
—A mortal is a mortal, —replied the lizard.
—Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.
—Exactly. Everything is done as I say.
Froggy placed his hands on his hips.
—What do I do now?
He looked around: nothing but scorched earth, ashes, and a few unconscious dwarves. Then he raised his hand to get a better look and smacked his head against the knife.
—Ah! My knife!
He had completely forgotten about it, despite carrying it in his hand the entire time.
—I forgot you... because now you are part of me.
He delivered a few dramatic lines, then walked over to the dwarves.
—What are you doing, human?
—Trying to wake these guys up.
—Why? Adding more mortals is just a nuisance.
—Got a better idea?
The two stared at each other.
—I'll help you.
—What a surprise. You're more cooperative than I thought.
—DON'T GET THE WRONG IDEA, MORTAL! I'm only doing this to recover my former glory, not because I want to help you or anything like that.
—Uh-huh.
—Are you implying something?
—Nothing, nothing. Drag that one over. Let's line them up.
—Why in a line?
—I don't know.
They arranged the dwarves lying in a row. Where one's feet ended, the next one began.
—Good, —declared Froggy proudly.
—Now what?
—I've thought of something. You see... they don't like me very much, so I can't show my attractive face without getting attacked. Therefore, I shall disguise myself as the Mysterious Man Froggy Green.
—Just by switching your name around?
—If we switch it, it wouldn't be Green Froggy, it would be Froggy Green. It's not the same.
—I'm not convinced by your plan.
—Relax, it'll work because I'll also wear a mask. Glasses would work too; then I'd be "Glasses Froggy Green." Without them—ah, the magnificent Green Froggy!
—Fine.
—And now, we wait.
An awkward silence settled over them.
—...
—...
—So... how's the family? —said Froggy, breaking the silence.
—Be quiet, mortal.
—Yeah...
Twar didn't know what had happened. He was still waking up; his head hurt badly. The last thing he remembered was being in infernal heat. He stood up and saw another of his companions in front of him; when he looked back, there were others too. It looked like they had been lined up for some kind of sacrifice.
Then he looked ahead: a strange figure. It wore a very strange mask and had a lizard on its shoulder... But what stood out most was the powerful pose it was striking, and also that...
That man was wearing underwear.