"So you're saying… although the video is fake, you actually had these thoughts?"
Jean stared directly at Cao Zhong. If he said even one lie, she would send him straight to the confinement room to keep Klee company.
"Grand Master Jean, you know me! How could I possibly have such thoughts? I'm a law-abiding citizen!"
Cao Zhong cried out in grievance.
There was no way he could accept the title of "scumbag." Even though he understood all the characters and storylines, once that label stuck, it would greatly increase the difficulty of winning over female characters in the future.
Admit it? Impossible.
"Then why is everyone in the group cursing you?"
Jean's gaze was sharp, determined to get the truth out of him.
After all, the impact Cao Zhong had caused was already affecting Mondstadt's image of freedom.
"My dear Grand Master, you can't believe just one side of the story! There are bad people among the masses!"
Cao Zhong loudly protested. These days, whoever shouts louder seems more right!
"You…"
Jean was so angry she laughed.
She had never seen someone so shameless in her entire life.
"Cao Zhong, you are truly shameless. Whoever marries you must have something wrong with their brain."
Jean wanted to scold him harshly, but her upbringing made it hard for her to say worse words.
"Grand Master Jean, how can you—"
Just as Cao Zhong was about to explain—
The video suddenly began playing again.
In that instant, Cao Zhong felt his scalp go numb… no, it felt like his head was about to explode.
Why?
Because once again—
he appeared in the video.
And once again, he was the male lead.
He glanced at it and let out a sigh of relief.
"Good… at least the female lead has changed."
Wait.
Why is it her?!
"Damn this video, are you trying to get me killed?!"
Cao Zhong stared at the figure on the screen, his eyes dull, his expression numb.
The next second, he felt a chill run down his spine.
Sharp gazes pierced into him like swords.
He turned around stiffly—
And met a pair of hawk-like eyes.
Sharp sword. Sharp eyes.
Jean's hand was already resting on her blade, ready to draw it at any moment.
"Cao Zhong, don't you want to explain this?"
"Grand Master Jean, be reasonable! Be reasonable! Listen to my explanation!"
At the same time, the group chat became lively again.
[Kaeya]: Damn, Cao Zhong, you really deserve to die! How many innocent girls have you targeted?!
[Venti]: Good news: it's not Amber or Eula this time. Bad news: it's Barbara.
[Eula]: ???
[Amber]: sob sob
[Barbara]: sigh…
[Albert (Barbara's #1 fan)]: Cao Zhong, I ***! If you dare do anything to Miss Barbara, I ***!
…
…
[Mondstadt Resident X]: +10086
[Kaeya]: I acknowledge Mr. Albert's attack power.
[Hu Tao]: Hurry up, hurry up! I can't wait to watch Cao Zhong's new "episode."
In Liyue, at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, Hu Tao had already set up a small stool, holding half a watermelon and happily eating while staring at the screen with her plum-blossom eyes.
Beside her, the "idle man" Zhongli frowned deeply at the video.
Even now, he still couldn't figure out how this thing appeared.
How could something so mysterious bypass the Heavenly Principles and appear directly in every being's mind across Teyvat?
He couldn't understand.
Seeing Hu Tao acting like a gossip-loving spectator gave him a headache.
As expected… short videos really do corrupt people.
Look at their once hardworking director—now she doesn't even go out for business anymore, completely addicted to watching videos.
If this continues, the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor will collapse!
Will anyone even be able to put expenses on their tab in the future?
"Director, what are you doing? Don't you need to go out and handle business today?"
Zhongli couldn't help but ask.
"Business? No need. There's already a potential client right in front of me—why go far?"
Hu Tao shook her head, her twin ponytails swaying.
Zhongli: ???
He didn't understand how watching a video could bring in a client.
Hu Tao glanced at his confused expression and sighed internally.
This consultant… he's great in every way—knowledgeable, calm—but his thinking is too rigid. A bit too old-fashioned.
So she patiently explained:
"Old Zhong, look at Cao Zhong. He's already become Teyvat's most notorious scumbag. He's offended so many women—there's no way he'll survive."
"I've already prepared the best funeral package for him. The price? Just 100 times the normal rate."
"After all, dealing with a scumbag's corpse is much harder—especially one like Cao Zhong!"
Zhongli listened and felt that it was absurd… yet somehow reasonable.
I don't understand… but I'm greatly shocked.
He sighed.
It seemed he had truly reached retirement age.