I was running, staggering forward on feet that failed me.
If it wasn't for my cowardice, it wouldn't be like this, I told myself.
If I had listened, I wouldn't die like this, I convinced myself.
But I had to run, as the gunshots tore through the tendon of my leg; I had to run, or the girl would die.
"Kill it." Was the command. And at the end of my rifle, was a monster.
Was it a Deer? Rabbit? Fox? Tiger?
It was all of them. A primitive chimera, they called it.
A monster that bled from old wounds, carrying old spears and bullet holes like a badge of honour.
Could I even kill something like this? Would a bullet do anything?
I was told to test that theory, here and now. But I couldn't, because protecting that monster, was a child.
"Kill them both. It's only a trick." Was the order.
"This thing, how many of our men has it killed?" The commander snarled, clutching his lost arm and bleeding out beside me. He wasn't the only one dying, the only one dead.
Liem had died, but it wasn't the chimera who killed him. If I didn't listen now, I would be next.
"Do it. Now. Or all you traitors will hang for treason!!"
"But it's…! It's just a kid—"
I gasped as a bullet tore through my chest, and the memory of that night shattered into a burning pit of pain.
My hand tightened around the little girl's hand, then I lifted her up and let the other traitors pull her up onto a boat, which would meet with a ship marooned further south.
With that, she could be safe.
"B-big brother…?" She pulled at my hand, clutching as tightly as she could while the others tried to calm her and tear her away.
"It's okay! You go first, I'll meet you there later, okay?" I lied, smiling as best as I could as blood pooled inside my lungs.
"But you're hurt…! I heard it..!" She exclaimed, reaching as far as her little fingers could go. But there was no point to that; the boat was already leaving, pulling away from the bay.
I could hear the approaching footsteps, they were almost here, the reapers; the specialized execution squad for traitors and deserters.
The boat had to leave. Now.
So I let go of her hand.
"I'm fine! See?" I waved at her with all the energy I could muster. She was crying, but I smiled for the both of us.
She didn't see the blood, nor the wounds. She couldn't.
That was part of the deal.
[ She won't see. You did well. Now kill them. ]
════════════════════
Hajun woke in a cold sweat, feeling as though his mind had been ripped from his body and left to dry.
His eyes stung, but everything else was numb. A strangely tangy scent wafted through his nostrils and into his sore lungs as he laid there, immobile.
It was tea.
He could smell it, but all he could see was blood; memories of flesh, guts and screams cut short.
All by his hands.
No.
Not mine. It wasn't me.
[ You forgot this, didn't you? ]
The demon's accusation was wrong. He didn't forget. He couldn't forget something that didn't happen.
It was a nightmare. Everyone has these, it's…how it is after military service. I'm not the only one like this.
[ A nightmare? For me, it's the sweetest dream! I still remember fondly, haha! ]
[ Ah but to answer that last question, you are, the only one. No one is as broken as you! Are you proud? You shouldn't be! ]
That was the point that he stopped listening to the demon, the chimera. He didn't have to listen. He was too tired to.
So like that, he stayed, listening to faint echoes of clinking, scraping, and murmurs that he couldn't make out. He focused on breathing, in and out, one breath at a time.
But a sudden sting of pain brought an end to his manual breathing.
The buzzing pain started at his wrist, then spread outwards, waking every nerve ending with a jolt. His eyes snapped open, temporarily blinded by what he thought was a flash bang.
It wasn't.
"Eugh…?" Hajun blinked away the haze, his mouth tasting of lead. But even then, he couldn't make out much through the blur.
It was daytime, was what that told him.
"Oh? You've come to." A faint voice wormed itself into Hajun's ears, vibrating through his mind like a distant echo.
"Come to…where?" He squinted, then swore as the numbness wore off entirely, his system being assaulted by a surge of pain from every bone and muscle.
"Hm? The living, I suppose?"
Someone leaned down over him, but all he could make out was a blur of motion. Whoever it was, they checked his pulse, then muttered something to themselves.
"I'd prefer hell…" Hajun groaned.
There was a pause, then a chuckle, during which Hajun got his bearings just enough to see the spider's mask.
The same one from last night.
"Trust me, you won't" The spider bastard smiled, then took a sip of his tea.
"Hah…? You piece of—"
Hajun wanted to punch that face, but found that he couldn't move his hands; and upon closer inspection, realized that they were strapped down.
What…?
Where…?
"Organ harvesting??"
"It's talking crazy. Wow. As if I don't have enough crazy to deal with." Someone else grumbled. It was a woman's voice, but similarly indistinct.
"Disorientation is to be expected, the red wisteria is meant to break down a mind from the inside out." The spider bastard hummed, then pointed to something. The agitated woman picked it up, but her back was to him, so Hajun couldn't figure out what it was.
"Isn't it a memory enhancer? It's not a poison. How did this thing end up like that?" She seemed to gesture to Hajun, but he was too far gone to pain to notice.
"Hm, theoretically correct, but you lack the practical capacity to understand. Anything can be poison, Ms. Baker."
"Oh. Right, Doctor."
"Especially in my hands. This particular concoction is most effective for creatures made of memories!" The Doctor tapped a vial with his free hand, then placed down his tea cup.
Both liquids were of the same colour.
"Right. Of course." Ms. Baker muttered, then filled a syringe with the substance he'd prescribed,
Something pricked Hajun again. This time, he was conscious enough to realize that it was an injection.
Then just like that, he was gone again.
***
"Dr. Kim. It's not my job to— damn it all to hell!" The handset of a telephone slammed down, waking the patient who was strapped to a medical bed in a dark room. From wall to wall were shelves, full of vials and books and whatever else those jars held.
Hajun wasn't keen on finding out, so he glanced to his right. There, was a desk, which held a telephone, a pile of folders, and a lamp, which illuminated the person hunched over it.
They seemed to be pulling at their hair in frustration.
"Get an internship here, they said! Shadow the best alchemist around, they said!! And no one bothered to mention that he was a psychopath??" The woman in a lab coat screamed until she was out of breath, then pushed her brown hair back into a messy bun.
"What're you looking at?" She scowled, glaring at Hajun, who'd been pretending to sleep for the past few minutes.
He played dead. What else could he do while drugged and restrained? Fuck all, that's what.
"Hey. I know you're awake." She came up and kicked the bed, the metal frame rocking as he groaned. It felt like being stabbed all over again, except this time, the blade was hot iron, and it seared through the skin like melted butter.
"Ghk—fu-" He yelped, then bit down to shut himself up. What he didn't expect was the sting of pain as fangs sunk into the inside of his own lip.
There was blood in his mouth, and when the revulsion hit, he leaned over the side of the bed and threw up.
"Urgh?! You're kidding!!" The crazy woman yelled, her hands going to her hair again. That was when Hajun noticed the mask.
Horselike with a singular horn sprouting from the forehead, its pure white and embellished surface meshed badly with the messy woman whose face it covered.
It really didn't suit her.
Hajun wiped at his mouth, finding that his hands were no longer tied. He didn't know what these lunatics were playing at, but he didn't want to find out either.
He really felt sick. Sick in the head.
"Get up." The crazy horse woman hissed. When he didn't obey, she hurled a rag at his face, then stormed out of the room.
He managed to catch it mid air, then looked to the mess he'd made. He silently cleaned it, using the repetitive motion to calm himself. Cleaning didn't require thinking, and it kept him busy.
He liked cleaning.
He had cleaned the entire room by the time the door opened again.
"You, deer- uh, rabbit? Ugh..! Whatever you are, go to the main office, it's, uh, registrar building, room 1314."
"…Sure, Miss…horse." Hajun muttered, dropping the rag into the bucket he'd found. The contents were a mess of dust, water and spider webs. It was too murky now to see his reflection in it.
He was glad for that.
"Ho— horse?!" The woman in the horse mask sputtered as he walked past her to the door.
"Are you blind too, Huh?? It's obviously a unicorn?? You know, the symbol of grace and purity??"
"One corn?" He cocked his head, temporarily distracted.
He heard her yell something about corn as his head collided with the doorframe, and bounced off like a baseball.
"Ghk—?!"
Hajun dropped to a crouch, clutching his head. If he wasn't already in pain everywhere else, he would have cursed his luck. But this wasn't bad luck.
This was illogical.
He stood, then stared at the top of the doorframe. It was nearly level with his eyes.
"What kind of short door is this?" His nose wrinkled as he stared it down, then looked down at his feet to check if he was somehow on stilts.
"It's just a normal door. Stop talking crazy, it's annoying." The horse woman scoffed, going to the table by the bed.
"Ugh? What happened in here?" She asked as she rummaged through the files, making an instant mess of the space he'd cleaned.
Hajun wanted to kick her. But he didn't. There were more pressing issues to deal with.
One of which was the door in front of him.
Is this some kind of prank?
I'm supposed to be looking up at this. I'm not tall. How'd I hit my head on a doorframe??
"Stop standing there and get out already. Oh right, if you lost or broke anything in here, expect to die by tomorrow. Be careful what you eat." The horse face gave a smile over her shoulder, her mouth just barely visible under where the mask sat.
"Sure, I won't eat corn." Hajun smiled back, then walked out the door before she could throw anything at him.
He was going to eat the first thing he saw.
Why?
Because he was starving, hungry to the point that the halls around him seemed to extend and change every time he blinked.
A dead end became a left turn, left became right, and doors became walls.
Guh—left turn? No. Right?
Which way did I come from?
It was sudden, the shift from a hall to a solid wall. His head bounced off it, damaging an already aching skull.
Hajun swore, rubbing at his forehead as he stood perfectly still. Even then, the hall in front of him changed with every blink. Room number 25B, lab storage, broom closet, then a stairwell, which he stopped on.
Everything was so strangely familiar, but at the same time, not. It really hurt his head.
So he forced his eyes to stay open, drying out and in pain as he walked a straight line to the exit sign.
One. Two…
Twenty four—
He counted the seconds to focus his mind, but only an arms length away from the stairs, a draft of hot, disgusting air hit his face, and he blinked.
He coughed to rid himself of the foul stench, which resembled rotting fish.
When he looked up again, he was in a broom closet.
"Ha! Haha! Really?" Hajun laughed, leaning against the shelf and taking a shaky breath. His legs trembled, holding up an exhausted body that refused to cooperate.
He stared at the ceiling, where a singular light bulb hung, around which moths danced until they died.
The pattern on their wings resembled eyes.
Someone was watching him. He could feel it.
His fingers curled around the hilt of a broom as he smiled, then hit the bulb out of the sky.
Overheated glass rained on him, scratching his cheek, but before one could pierce his eyeball, he blinked again.
Hajun laughed under his breath when he found himself back in front of that stairwell. It was closer this time.
He didn't hesitate to sprint for it, the broom dropped in his haste.
"Haa…hh- ghk- made it…!" He gasped for air, clutching the handrails for a moment. He dusted the glass shards off of himself, then immediately started his descent.
He wasn't going to risk restarting again. He was already losing track of time. It didn't feel like he could take another step without collapsing. But he did anyway.
Step after step, down into the darkness.
"Haha…I'm seriously going crazy." He laughed, his voice echoing in the enclosed space.
"Crazy. Crazy. Crazy." It said.
"Intruder. Intruder. Intruder." Was what the words changed to as he took heavy breaths, trying to focus his splintered mind.
"Haha…I'm the intruder? Do you think I want to be here??"
"Here. Here. Here." It echoed.
"Catch. Catch. Catch." It said, louder.
"Ah. It's an alarm system?" Hajun realized, as the stairs beneath him began to fall away. He had to jump forward to avoid a drop into what he could only describe as an empty pit. Luckily for him, his fingers caught the next step before it fell. But then they slipped.
"Aghk—"
Hajun felt a surge of pain from his fingertips as his fall come to an abrupt stop. Claws had dug into the cement surface, catching him where his fingers failed.
"Haa…" He exhaled, then hoisted himself up with a pained grunt. He crawled and fell into a sprint, jumping from step to step as far as he could manage. When the light of a hallway came into view, he threw himself at it, rolling then slamming into a wall.
The breath was knocked out of him, but he was alive.
He laid there, curled up on the solid ground.
He was shaking.
[ Get up, Fool. Something is hunting you. ] The demon warned him, but he ignored it.
He was tired. He was hungry. He was scared. And everything hurt.
He just wanted to stay where he was.
[ Don't be pathetic. Get up. ]
He just wanted to sleep.
[ You know you can't. I can't either. ]
He wished he had died in the water.
[ Oh stop your whining and get up..!! ]
The chimera scolded him, sending a burst of pain through his skull. He groaned, clutching at it, before standing begrudgingly.
"Fine…" He grit out, leaning on the wall for support.
Then he stopped, and inhaled sharply.
"What is this?" His hand rested beside the wall plaque, where the floor number was ingrained.
It should have been two, that number. Because one floor down from the third floor was the second floor.
That was basic math.
But no matter how long or hard he stared, the number stayed the same.
This was still the third floor.
The stairs had led him right back to where he'd started.