We had dinner at a restaurant and then headed to the event floor where the event was being held.
This is a time to enjoy yourself.
But I had reached my limit.
When I talk to people in a "normal" way, or when I respond in a "normal" way, it hurts my heart.
It's incredibly difficult for me to talk in a way that suits others, and to laugh in a way that suits others.
It's okay for a short while. But if it continues for a long time, it can cause problems not only in your mind but also in your body.
Headache, nausea, shivering.
I kept telling myself, "Today's the day, today's the day," and held on, but I failed again today.
Before I knew it, I was all alone.
Ikumi, Elsie, and Katsuragi are not by my side.
Ikumi and Elsie are talking to someone I don't know.
I can't bring myself to join a conversation.
Katsuragi-kun was called away by the person in charge here regarding the costumes.
I instinctively wanted to call out to him, but I couldn't bring myself to speak.
My only contact with him was a brief conversation a few days ago, and another brief one today. I had no excuse to stop him.
I wonder why?
My sister can talk to people so easily, so why am I like this?
It's something that any normal person should be able to do, so why can't I do it?
I can't do it anymore.
Having made that decision, I fled that floor before the event even began.
I'll apologize to Ikumi later. I also need to apologize a lot to Katsuragi-kun.
I hurried down the stairs, trying to suppress my nausea.
Everyone must be gathered on the event floor. I run down the less crowded stairs.
And the moment I passed someone, I stopped in my tracks.
As usual, there was the boy fiddling with a game in his hands.
Before I could even wonder why I was there, someone called out to me.
"Are you going home?"
Those words sounded almost reproachful.
"Uh, well..."
Could it be that they've come to take me back?
No, if they had followed me after I left the event floor, they wouldn't be in a place like this, and I didn't have time to contact them, so it's unlikely they got in touch and came ahead of me.
"Yoshino Asami, before you run away from here, there's just one thing I want to ask you."
He asks the question as he descends the stairs, one step at a time.
"Why do you try to conform to others even to the point of pretending to be someone you're not?"
"!"
The core of the problem I'm facing.
I was surprised and filled with questions when I was asked that question so directly.
How? How did you know?!
I wanted to ask that question, but I couldn't find the words, and he spoke first.
"I've been watching you for a while, and it seems like you were pushing yourself too hard."
They repeatedly made comments that fit the atmosphere of the situation and answered questions as if they were choosing the model answer.
Try to respect the atmosphere of the place, and avoid disrupting it.
"Honestly, it was painful to watch her act, which was just to protect herself because she didn't want everyone to hate her."
"An act to protect oneself"?
I just want everyone to have a good time...
...No, I can't say for sure that there wasn't any desire to protect myself there.
Why do you worry about what other people think? Why do you care about the atmosphere of a situation?
You should go ahead and disrupt that kind of thing. If you believe that's right, then you should go ahead and isolate yourself!
That's ridiculous.
But, but...
"I do that properly."
He is stubbornly pushing through with that absurdity.
Hearing those words, I finally understood why I had been so interested in him.
I had always admired that image of hers.
I admire her unwavering resolve, her ability to establish herself without relying on anyone, no matter what happens.
I understood the true nature of the feelings I was experiencing. But that doesn't solve anything.
"That's impossible."
That's impossible! I can't be like Keima-kun!!"
The answer to my question was nothing but despair.
"Because I don't want to be alone! It's scary, it's really hard!"
I can't be like Keima-kun!
I wonder if Keima will understand these words?
Wouldn't saying something like this just result in being looked down upon with pity?
Keima slowly came down to where I was, right beside me as I was crying.
Then, in stark contrast to how he had been speaking just moments before, he began to speak to me in a gentle voice.
"Mami, you don't dislike other people at all, do you? On the contrary, you probably like them."
He nodded.
"Because I like people, I'm terrified of saying something wrong and being disliked, and of ending up all alone."
He nodded again.
I wasn't entirely sure myself, but I think that's probably what it was.
"Seriously, you're such an idiot. Do you really think you'll be all alone if you say something wrong?"
I nodded again... or rather, I lifted my head.
What does that mean?
"Let me state this clearly: That's absolutely impossible."
Because you have a younger sister.
Even if he were told to choose between "you" and "the world," he would choose you without hesitation, wouldn't he?
I'll say it again. You're not alone."
That's right, I might not have trusted my sister either.
I was worried that if I continued like this, my sister would abandon me and go somewhere else.
"Of course, I'm here too."
Keima leans closer.
I kind of knew what was going to happen next, but I couldn't bring myself to refuse.
"I'll accept you just the way you are."
I will never abandon you.
Now, show me your true self."
Keima's kiss.
I don't really understand why he kissed someone like me.
But...
I felt like I could believe what Keima-kun said.
I'm not alone. There are people who will help me.
When I realized that, I felt as if all the lingering unease in my heart had completely disappeared.