That was him in his previous life.
At first glance, his appearance in this life looked quite different. Yet upon closer inspection, many familiar traces remained.
"I wonder if Yu Qingtu is still alive..."
As for the young girl Clarice, she was a short-lived species. Under normal circumstances, there was no way she could have lived until the era he now found himself in.
Tomomu Kanzaki did not dwell on those thoughts, nor did he ever consider searching for them. He simply felt a touch of sentimentality.
One must always look forward. Whether the past held regrets or beautiful moments, it belonged to the past.
He retrieved a small sachet from his personal storage space. The image of the young girl's smiling eyes surfaced in his mind once more.
The question Clarice had once asked him echoed in his thoughts.
"If I were about to die, would Tomomu Kanzaki be willing to remember me as much as possible?"
His answer back then had come from the heart. It was not a solemn promise, nor did it carry heavy weight.
In the end, the bond between them had only been one of friendship.
But the pity and warmth Clarice had shown him before her death was enough to be remembered forever.
"Once, there was a gentle girl named Clarice who gave me a hug. I will always remember that warmth, and I will remember her."
This was his belated, formal response after crossing such a vast span of time.
After putting away the sachet, a finely crafted wooden instrument appeared in Tomomu Kanzaki's hand.
The wood had a deep, lustrous sheen and exquisite craftsmanship.
Of all the things he had obtained in his previous life, this was the only one he had no memory of.
Perhaps it was tied to an unpleasant experience, which was why that particular memory had not carried over to this life.
"Forget it."
Recalling the past only brought more sorrow. The blurry, incomplete edges of those memories felt equally unpleasant.
When he thought about how the mara-struck condition of the Xianzhou people was also deeply tied to memory, he felt even more unsettled.
In the hundreds of years since his discharge, Tomomu Kanzaki had never stopped his secret research into the mara-struck and the power of abundance.
Using the biological and memory research knowledge he had accumulated in his previous life, he had actually made some progress.
This kind of research was highly sensitive on the Xianzhou. If the Ten Lords Commission ever discovered it, a judge would certainly come to invite him for a talk.
The alchemist-physicians in the Alchemy Commission's Mara Department possessed a special exemption that allowed them to study the mara-struck and the power of abundance legitimately.
However, their primary focus was on finding a cure, which differed from Tomomu Kanzaki's own direction.
He had never intended to cure the mara infection.
The reason was simple and realistic. If one day the Xianzhou truly managed to completely cure the mara infection, how would life and death be defined for a person?
The consequences of immortality had already been written in blood across the history of the Xianzhou Alliance.
Endless population growth, fierce competition for resources, social fragmentation, and the resulting endless turmoil. This topic was more sensitive than almost any other.
Therefore, even if the Xianzhou could overcome the mara infection, it would never be made available to the general public. Not even a whisper of it could be allowed to leak.
People could tolerate certain truths existing in the shadows, but they could not accept them being brought into the light.
The mara-struck condition served as an unspoken weight that helped maintain order on the Xianzhou. This was one of the silent understandings everyone shared.
Tomomu Kanzaki had only delayed the progression of his mother's mara infection rather than seeking a complete cure for this very reason.
There was always a trade-off. Some boxes were better left unopened.
When he returned home, Qiu Zhiyan had not yet gone to sleep.
Seeing Tomomu Kanzaki enter with his usual expression, her lips twitched slightly. A brief look of vacant confusion flashed across her eyes.
Tomomu Kanzaki noticed this and sighed inwardly.
"It is already past midnight. Why are you still awake, Mother? Do you have something to tell me?"
At his words, the dazed look on Qiu Zhiyan's face disappeared. She beckoned him to sit down.
"Kanzaki, while you were meeting with General Teng Xiao, I thought about many things. You should go back."
"...Mother?"
Tomomu Kanzaki froze. He naturally understood what "going back" meant.
Qiu Zhiyan took her son's hand, her voice filled with complex emotions.
"I have been losing myself more often lately, forgetting what I was thinking just moments ago. The time must be approaching soon."
"The mara-struck condition is the fate of all long-lived species. I have already lived to the age of 995, yet I have become a shackle that has bound you for most of your life."
"You do not need to comfort me by saying it was voluntary. Whether I spoke up or not, I was the direct reason that influenced your choice."
"Just imagine if I had died in battle back then like your sister and your father. Would you still have chosen to discharge?"
No one knew a son better than his mother. Yet Tomomu Kanzaki also understood his mother's inner struggle.
They both knew the answer. But he did not want her to live the rest of her days consumed by guilt.
A person's state of mind often shifted gradually with the passage of time. This was especially true for Xianzhou natives nearing the mara-struck state.
The closer that day came, the more the negative emotions buried in the past would be magnified many times over.
Qiu Zhiyan still appeared to be in the prime of her early twenties. Yet her eyes carried the deep weariness of someone who had witnessed the affairs of the world.
"Your grandmother, grandfather, and uncle... they all died on the battlefield when I was very young."
"When we were young, your father and I stood atop a mountain of abomination corpses and swore to spend our lives together. We vowed to slay every abomination of abundance that stood before us."
"At that time, your father was my entire world. Later, we had all of you children."
"People change. Ever since your sister's time, a seed had been planted in my heart. When you were born and I watched you grow up, I suddenly realized..."
"Whether it was me suddenly leaving you, or you joining the army one day to fight abominations and constantly brush against death... it would all be too unfair and cruel to you."
"On the night of your sixth birthday, I discussed it with your father. I wanted you to choose your own path in life instead of sending you straight into Cloud Knight training and deciding your future for you."
"But your father was stubborn. He always spoke of ancestral teachings and firmly disagreed. That was our first argument, and it even came to blows."
Qiu Zhiyan let out a long sigh. Her grip on Tomomu Kanzaki's hand tightened without her realizing it.
"I have lost so much since I was a child, and I am truly afraid of losing even more."
"But in the end, I still lost your sister and your father. Although your father was stubborn, old-fashioned, and knew little of the world beyond his martial skills..."
"Still... he was the person I intended to spend my entire life with."
"I am a cowardly person. After the battle of Yueque, I used the excuse that I could not lose you as well to drag you into this cage and trap you here for hundreds of years."
"I have failed the ancestors of the Tomomu Family. I have failed your father. But most of all, I have failed you."
"You are a descendant of the Tomomu Family, and the only one in more than ten generations to have displayed such exceptional talent with a weapon since childhood."
"I never believed in such things before, but the talent you displayed from childhood made me believe that perhaps it truly is fate."
"For hundreds of years, no one has ever summoned a member of the Tomomu Family back to active duty. Now that you are nearly six hundred years old, well past the usual age for Cloud Knight discharge, the General has come to visit in person."
"Although General Teng Xiao did not say it outright, I can sense that something major is going to happen in the coming years. I can no longer selfishly keep you locked in this cage."
Having heard all this, Tomomu Kanzaki gently squeezed his mother's hand in return.
"If one cannot even protect their own home, how can they protect the lights of ten thousand homes?"
"If protecting the lights of ten thousand homes requires sacrificing one's own home, there will always be those willing to make that sacrifice..."
Tears shimmered in Qiu Zhiyan's eyes as a look of deep respect appeared on her face.
"This... is the choice the Tomomu Family has made through the generations. Even though they were reluctant at heart, they never hesitated. They were all reluctant heroes."
"Kanzaki, my selfish side does not want you to become a hero. But I also do not want the bravery and loyalty passed down in the Tomomu Family for two thousand years to be tarnished because of me."
Feeling the warmth of his mother's hand in his palm, Tomomu Kanzaki's emotions surged. He remained silent for a long time.
"...I understand, Mother."
After a moment of silence, Tomomu Kanzaki smiled gently.
In truth... he had always understood.
But in the end, he was only human.
Even the Xianzhou General, an Emanator of the Hunt and the greatest combat power of the Xianzhou, often found himself powerless in the face of certain situations and could even perish on foreign soil. How could someone like him be any different?
He did not possess such grand ambitions.
He only wanted to protect his mother and protect his home.
That was all.
Mother... even if you had not said anything, I was destined to tarnish the bravery and loyalty of the Tomomu Family.
Because... my original reason for joining the army as a child was always just to protect all of you. It was never for the Xianzhou.
If one day in the future I die on the battlefield, I too will be what you called a reluctant hero.