Chapter 10
Clarisse turned her head and discovered, to her surprise, a rare look of bewilderment on his face.
She waited quietly.
After a long moment, Kanzaki Tomomu finally spoke and shared his thoughts.
"This sentence may not have a single standard interpretation."
"If I had to give one answer, I would say: The meaning of life is not to escape the labyrinth, but to collect those moments worth remembering while wandering through its winding paths."
"In a world where everything is destined to fade, memory is the only thing we can take with us. It is also the gentlest form of resistance against nothingness."
Clarisse fell into thoughtful silence.
She felt Mr. Kanzaki's answer didn't quite suit her.
Perhaps… because his interpretation leaned more toward the pessimistic side?
When life ends, aren't the memories taken away also gone?
Wouldn't that still leave nothing behind?
"There's no need to overthink it. Some questions simply have multiple answers."
"Life will eventually head toward death. What path we walk along the way is a choice each person makes for themselves."
"Let me tell you a short story I once read by chance in a book."
Kanzaki Tomomu paused briefly to recall, then continued gently:
"A young married couple was about to part forever. The husband had a terminal illness and didn't have much time left."
"Before he died, he handed his wife a bracelet he had woven himself and said—"
'After I'm gone, let this accompany you for the rest of your life. Whenever you think of me because of it, I will have lived once more through you.'
"What a romantic story…" Clarisse sighed.
"Romance is one way to interpret it. My interpretation… is cruel."
Kanzaki Tomomu said.
"…Cruel?" Clarisse looked astonished.
"After a person dies, nothing of themselves remains—except their memory, because they may still exist in someone else's memories."
Kanzaki Tomomu's voice was soft, carrying an ethereal quality.
"Mm… what's wrong with that?" Clarisse asked, puzzled.
Kanzaki Tomomu continued quietly, "The dead return to dust, and the living must eventually say goodbye to the past and look forward. There's nothing wrong with the husband giving his wife the bracelet, but—"
"His words unintentionally imprisoned her in the memory of the past. The bracelet became a shackle."
"Dead is dead. Why make the person you love most unable to let go of you?"
"Whether to let go or not is the right of the living, not something the dying should decide."
"By letting everything go and allowing his wife to live without being trapped in past memories, perhaps that was the deepest love and affection he left her before he departed."
…So this was Mr. Kanzaki's interpretation…
Clarisse's lips moved slightly. She felt a thread of sorrow quietly seep into the air the moment his words ended.
She thought… Mr. Kanzaki seemed a little… pessimistically inclined?
Was it because he studied medicine?
Every time he treated a critically ill patient, he had to prepare for the worst outcome and pour everything into pulling that life back from the brink.
Over time, perhaps that had shaped the way he viewed the world…?
Otherwise, she couldn't understand how someone as warm and gentle as winter sunlight like Mr. Kanzaki could hold such a pessimistic view.
"But… isn't it also cruel to ask the wife to let go? After all, they loved each other deeply…"
"A simple smile and silence, or a quiet farewell, would not be cruel."
"Facing life and death, it's very difficult for someone who still feels attached to the world to be that open-minded," Clarisse said with feeling.
"Heh… that is also a choice. Everyone has to face it."
Kanzaki Tomomu smiled and caught the round orange cat that leaped into his arms, gently scratching its chin.
"And that is where the meaning lies—seeing what meaning life chooses to give itself."
These words left a complicated feeling in Clarisse's heart.
"…Mr. Kanzaki, if I were about to die, would you be willing to remember me for as long as possible?"
"Of course I would."
"Why?"
"No reason needed."
"But I want to know… pretty please~~" Clarisse used a soft, coquettish tone, her voice sweet and pleading.
If her classmates saw her like this, their jaws would probably drop.
The girl who never made friends and was practically isolated—could she actually have such a girlish side?
Kanzaki Tomomu gave a helpless smile. "Because Clarisse is reliable, strong-willed, filial, and grateful. Mm… and very cute, beautiful, and graceful."
The last part was added on the spot.
Compared to praising her character, he figured the girl would probably prefer being called cute, beautiful, and graceful.
Seeing the faint blush on her cheeks, Kanzaki Tomomu knew he had guessed correctly.
"…If it were you instead, Mr. Kanzaki… Never mind, it's nothing."
Clarisse realized the question was inappropriate and quickly dropped the thought.
It wasn't right to casually use someone else's life and death with "what if."
"You wanted to ask whether, if I were about to die, I would want to be remembered by others, by certain people… or by one particular person, right?"
"…You saw right through me again… Yes. Please forgive my rudeness."
"It's not rude at all. The short story I just told you has that interpretation as its answer."
"…Oh…"
Clarisse didn't catch the faint melancholy in Kanzaki Tomomu's tone. She subconsciously rubbed her eyes, then froze with a look of shock.
Mr. Kanzaki was clearly sitting right beside her, yet inside the medical room there were several translucent afterimages of him?
And she could see what the afterimages were doing.
"Mr. Kanzaki… you… you…"
"What is it?" Kanzaki Tomomu asked, puzzled.
Clarisse hesitated, words on the tip of her tongue.
After struggling for a long moment, she decided not to mention the phantoms she saw and instead asked in a low voice,
"To cure my mother's amnesia… have you always been using yourself as the test subject?"
"…Little girl, you—"
Kanzaki Tomomu was momentarily stunned and instinctively wanted to deny it.
But when he met those star-like, faintly trembling eyes, he indirectly admitted it.
"How did you guess?"
"Because Mr. Kanzaki is a complete homebody who never socializes. I've never seen you leave these mountains… so where would any volunteers come from…?"
Clarisse forced a small smile and subconsciously turned her head, avoiding his gaze.
She was afraid her eyes, which were about to grow moist, would give her away.
It wasn't a guess… I saw it with my own eyes, Mr. Kanzaki…
Even though she didn't understand medicine, she knew that every difficult illness that had ever been conquered required enormous effort and sacrifice from both the doctor and clinical volunteers.
Yet Mr. Kanzaki had shouldered it all alone!
Clarisse also knew that clinical trials always carried risks.
Especially with memory-related conditions—if anything went wrong, Mr. Kanzaki's own memories could be affected.
She already owed him more than she could ever repay.
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Bonus chapters
200 Stones - 1 chapter
400 Stones - 2 chapter
600 Stones - 3 chapters
And so on