What do I want out of this?
I would like for you to acknowledge everything I have said here. I seriously do not appreciate you ignoring my efforts and love for you when I see you as a truly special person to me, it hurts me a lot to know my favorite person ignores my efforts and love and treats it like it is nothing (at least that is how I feel). You can process and read everything I have said on your own time and whatnot. I just want to say all of this so I can move on and have proper closure in our friendship and to properly explain why I did the things I did. I just want to be myself to truly express to you how I felt, I apologize if I am somehow blunt because I genuinely at times do not understand how I am blunt or rude when I thought I was being polite and say things straight to the point without having to walk on eggshells.
This is how I would like to express myself, please respect the way I handle and express myself as I am exhausted from putting up a mask that is not your fault but this world's fault because I was forced to do so in order to fit in with society better. My intentions is to say things to the point in the most efficient, kindest, and direct way I possibly can to you, in no way am I trying to hurt you at all asides from some very intense resentful I have felt to you because I felt really hurt by my emotional needs/distress never being noticed nor could I ever feel comfortable speaking up about it without worrying about our relationship being in shambles. I also hope that I am able to explain why I did the things that I did in our relationship and struggled to be properly honest with you with full clarity instead of you being forced to guess and think it out. This is also a way for me to finally stand up for yourself, as you may have already know, I am a people pleaser and I struggle to respect and defend myself. If you have any questions, feel free to reply and reach out, I will do my best to answer them. I highly suggest you do it sooner as it is possible for me to forget as I attempt to move on from our relationship and I may get busier with life as a college student. Before moving on romantically from you, I only wish to express it all for both closure and in hopes that it makes you feel loved and it is possible for people to romantically commit to you. I apologize if this is not as straight forward as you have liked as I struggle to get to the point sometimes and tend to have a habit of saying irrelevant/repeated things.