Perhaps I can not forgive you for torturing me like this for so long by leaving when I needed you the most. I arrived at a train and waited until 2:08pm, I had not been on a train in a long while. I was excited to be on one. It costs me $9 for one ticket on one trip. I saw some interesting sights such as an area that looked like military camps would be shown in American movies. The train passed by a variety of houses.
Flashback to 12/13/2024
I asked Lizmarie if she and her family went shopping to deal with New York's winter. "Yee, we were able to. Although we weren't able to get everything (better coats, lol), we'll hopefully get them today. But I did get far better gloves, and I'm aiming to wear three layers of shirts to stay warm, lmao. Haha, perhaps living on the East Coast is not for me."
"Maybe if the East Coast had non-snow places. Jesus Christ, I looked at the weather app for Maryland, which is around the same temperature as New York, and it's 20 degrees over there."
"Update, I'm alive and I managed to get a better coat. I no longer feel like killing myself because of the cold. However my knees are in pain because we've walked a lot. So that's great she texted sarcastically but the pros is that we're finally halfway through the trip. Tomorrow is a no-walking day because we're visiting family and the drive is like 3-4 hours long."
The flashback has ended.
This memory made me realize that Khaleesi wasn't all glorious and lovable as I thought she was. This also made me realize how little I as the author may have meant to her in the first place. There is no doubt that I love her way more than she even loves me. I didn't feel very appreciated by her during our friendship compared to how much I was willing to put in such an effort to be her servant. Sometimes, I think that I mean little to nothing to her. (Is that the depression speaking or how I actually feel?) I regressed by stabbing my own heart and forced Khaleesi to watch me die.