"Sensei, you really are the best! What a wonderful surprise!"
It took Kōga a moment to process what Kazuma had actually said.
Then relief hit him so hard he nearly jumped for joy.
He wasn't getting beaten.
All he had to do was fetch Rukia.
Without another word, Kōga dropped to his knees and gave Kazuma an enthusiastic bow before scrambling to his feet and bolting for the door.
"It's good to be alive!"
The moment he made it safely out of the First Division, the tension finally drained from his body.
For the first time all day, he could breathe again.
Still, something felt strangely wrong.
His teacher had actually let him go without a beating.
That was practically unheard of.
Knowing Kazuma, Kōga had expected to lose at least one layer of skin before being released.
Apparently, years of abuse had given him some deeply unhealthy expectations. Escaping punishment now left him feeling oddly incomplete.
At this rate, he needed a new western name.
Kuchiki Kōga Beat-Me-Or-I-Feel-Weird!
Humming happily to himself, Kōga headed toward the Seventh Division.
He had no idea why Kazuma wanted to see Rukia, but his instincts told him it probably wasn't anything good.
Still, that was Rukia's problem.
Better her than him.
...
"Captain Kōga? You're back already?"
Iba Tetsuzaemon stared at him, then looked past his shoulder.
No Kazuma.
Where had their captain disappeared to this time?
Kōga walked over with a smile and patted Iba on the shoulder.
"Nothing serious. Teacher sent me to bring Rukia to the First Division. Don't ask me why, because he didn't tell me either."
Before Iba could respond, Kōga casually dropped another bombshell.
"Oh, right. There's something else you should know."
"My teacher is officially the new Captain-Commander. The appointment notice should reach the divisions soon."
He grinned.
"Congratulations, Tetsuzaemon. Looks like you'll be moving up to become the First Division lieutenant."
Iba stared at him.
"...What?"
His breathing hitched.
"Captain Kōga, you're joking, right? Because that isn't funny."
He looked as though lightning had struck him.
Kazuma becoming Captain-Commander wasn't impossible. Iba had always believed his captain had the strength and reputation for it.
But surely that was supposed to happen decades from now.
Maybe a century.
Not today.
"Joking?"
Kōga shook his head.
"Not at all. The captains just held a meeting and unanimously approved the succession. Captain-Commander Yamamoto has already stepped down and gone to the Human World to enjoy retirement."
Iba stopped functioning.
Kōga, who was rarely the type to joke about serious matters, left him there to process the collapse of his worldview and went inside to find Rukia.
...
"Uncle?"
The moment Rukia saw Kōga, suspicion flashed across her face.
"Why are you back?"
Earlier that day, she'd wisely disappeared the moment Kazuma started beating him.
Rukia hadn't done anything particularly wrong lately, but experience had taught her that this offered absolutely no protection.
Kazuma might get carried away and decide to beat her too while he was already in the mood.
Better not to be nearby.
"Sensei is the Captain-Commander now," Kōga told her. "He wants you at the First Division. Go report to him."
Rukia blinked.
That fast?
She already knew about everything that had happened over the past few days. She'd simply made the intelligent choice to stay invisible.
One reason.
She didn't want to get hit!
"That's it?"
"That's it."
The two stared at each other.
Rukia narrowed her eyes.
"Uncle, you're not setting me up, are you?"
She'd been tricked too many times to trust this easily.
Kōga immediately looked offended.
"Of course not! Why would I ever trick my precious niece?"
He put a hand to his chest.
"You're not only my niece, you're also my junior. I'd protect you before I ever set you up."
Rukia's suspicion only deepened.
Something about that speech sounded horribly familiar.
"Wait…"
She frowned.
"That's almost exactly what Sensei says before he screws me over."
Kōga's expression remained perfectly sincere.
He even raised a hand and swore before the Soul King that he wasn't lying.
Kazuma had genuinely told him only to bring Rukia over. Nothing else.
After a long pause, Rukia finally relaxed.
"Fine. I'll trust you this once."
Surely a man wouldn't swear before the Soul King over something like this.
Surely.
...
At the First Division, Rukia greeted Kazuma with her brightest smile.
"Congratulations on becoming Captain-Commander, Sensei!"
Better to start friendly.
People were less likely to hit someone who was smiling.
Probably.
Kazuma looked at his obedient little student and felt a brief pang of guilt.
She really hadn't done anything wrong.
Unfortunately, he was still furious, and beating someone seemed like the quickest way to work it out of his system.
Sorry, Rukia.
"Rukia, my dear student."
Kazuma gave her an exceptionally friendly smile.
"Come here. Sensei has something to show you."
"Hehehehe…"
The villain laugh returned.
Kazuma's eye twitched.
This damn Captain-Commander buff made absolutely no sense.
Was he doomed to transform into a cartoon villain every time he tried to discipline somebody?
What kind of bullshit was that?
He was supposed to be the sneaky bastard pulling tricks on everyone else, not the obvious villain cackling before the crime.
Rukia heard the laugh and instantly knew she'd made a terrible mistake.
'I got screwed again!'
She turned to run.
Kazuma caught her before she made it two steps.
A short while later, Rukia received another compulsory lesson in her teacher's unique brand of affection.
...
"Ahhh."
Kazuma stretched afterward, visibly refreshed.
"Much better."
Apparently, beating a student really was excellent stress relief.
He glanced toward the corner.
"Rukia, Sensei owes you an apology this time."
He spoke almost thoughtfully.
"I was originally planning to beat Kōga, but something weird happened and ruined the mood. So, unfortunately, you had to fill in for him."
Only then did he properly notice Rukia.
She was crouched in the corner, bruised, sniffling, and quietly crying into her knees.
Kazuma paused.
Then, in a rare display of conscience, he added,
"Sorry about that."
Rukia slowly raised her head.
Tears filled her eyes as she glared at him with pure betrayal.
At that moment, she made a solemn promise to herself.
Never again.
She would never blindly trust anyone ever again.
Not Sensei.
Not Uncle Kōga.
Neither of those bastards could be trusted as far as she could throw them!