"Sentarō, go see what's happening. Who's making all that noise outside?"
Ukitake frowned.
He'd been having a pleasant conversation with Ichigo, only for the sudden shouting to ruin the mood.
Kotsubaki Sentarō, sitting nearby, had just risen to investigate when the tightly shut door was yanked violently open.
"Ah, there you are! So this is where you've been hiding!"
Kazuma stormed into the room without the slightest concern for anyone else.
The moment he spotted the teapot on the table, he grabbed it without bothering to greet anyone, tilted his head back, and drank straight from the spout.
His hangover hadn't entirely faded, and his mouth was painfully dry.
The instant Ichigo saw him, he shrank back on instinct.
Yesterday's punishment had left far too deep a scar. He still hadn't recovered.
"Are you finished talking?"
"We've covered most of it, but there are still a few smaller details to discuss," Ukitake answered.
"Ichigo, go play outside. I need to speak with this old brat Ukitake about something."
When Kazuma said his name, Ichigo assumed he was about to become a target again. The moment he realized Kazuma hadn't come for him, he shot to his feet and fled the room.
He truly didn't want to stay anywhere near that demon.
"Kurosaki Ichigo! We haven't finished yet! Why are you running?"
Ukitake stared after him in disbelief.
Kazuma had only said a few words. How had Ichigo gotten that frightened of him?
"You had better have a good reason for interrupting us."
Ukitake turned a sharp gaze on Kazuma, demanding an explanation.
"I do. This is serious."
"Didn't things only settle down a day or two ago? What's happened now?"
Seeing Kazuma's grave expression, Ukitake assumed another major crisis had broken out.
"Ōmaeda told me every member of your Shinigami Men's Association owns a portrait of me. You drew them, didn't you?"
Kazuma stared straight at Ukitake, making him more uncomfortable by the second.
"W-Well… yes, I drew it. Is there some problem?"
Ukitake swallowed nervously.
He'd wanted to point out that this hardly counted as a serious matter, but then he remembered the portrait was admittedly a little abstract.
Perhaps Kazuma had a fair reason to be angry.
"Well, well. I thought you might have the nerve to draw it but not to admit it."
Kazuma tapped his fingers rhythmically against the table.
"Since you've confessed, this will be easier. How do you plan to compensate me? You drew me like some kind of monster. I'm definitely owed damages for emotional distress."
"Think carefully about why I drew that portrait in the first place. I was spreading your fame!"
Ukitake turned the accusation around at once.
"If anything, you should be giving me a gift as thanks."
What a shameless counterattack.
With only a few sentences, Ukitake tried to brush the matter aside and even trick Kazuma into owing him.
"Spreading my fame? Do you think I'm an idiot?"
Kazuma narrowed his eyes.
"I'm not that fool Kurosaki Ichigo. Unless you give me a satisfactory answer today, I'll tear down your entire Thirteenth Division!"
Ukitake was trying to fool a man notorious for being underhanded.
He might as well have shown off his swordsmanship in front of a master swordsman.
If Kazuma were that easy to deceive, his reputation would have been completely undeserved.
"Kazuma, surely we can discuss this peacefully."
A flattering smile immediately appeared on Ukitake's face.
"Hmph. Now you're frightened? Weren't you acting tough a moment ago?"
Kazuma crossed his arms and snorted.
"Fine. Tell me what you want. As long as it isn't too excessive."
Ukitake sighed helplessly.
"Then draw one hundred normal portraits of me and apologize at your association's next meeting."
Kazuma's eyes glinted with cunning.
"One hundred? And they all have to look normal? Isn't that far too many?"
Ukitake's eyes widened.
"Is it? I don't think I'm asking for much. You're the one who made me look so abstract."
Kazuma raised an eyebrow, looking ready to overturn the table if Ukitake refused.
"You're deliberately making this impossible for me!"
Ukitake looked horrified.
"You've already seen my artistic ability. How am I supposed to draw anything normal?"
He couldn't possibly meet that demand.
"Change it! Ask for something else. I can't do that."
"Something else?"
Kazuma pretended to think it over, though he'd planned everything from the start.
"That's difficult. I can't immediately think of another suitable condition."
"Anything except that. Name whatever you want!"
"Are you sure?"
"I am completely certain."
"Then swear it in the Soul King's name."
"Fine, I swear!"
The instant the words left his mouth, Ukitake regretted them.
He suddenly realized Kazuma had walked him straight into a trap.
"Can I take that back?"
"What do you think?"
Kazuma grinned with the unmistakable satisfaction of a scheme going perfectly.
"My condition is extremely simple for you. Stop looking so miserable."
"Let's hear it."
At this point, Ukitake could only accept his fate.
"Transfer Rukia to my Seventh Division."
"What?!"
The Thirteenth Division was desperately short on capable people, and Ukitake's fragile health often kept him from handling everything himself.
He'd intended to train Rukia as a future lieutenant.
Kazuma had gone straight for his most precious prospect.
Of course, getting Rukia had been Kazuma's real purpose all along.
The hundred portraits had merely been a distraction to lower Ukitake's guard.
That was how bargaining worked.
First demand something outrageous, then offer a seemingly smaller alternative.
"You already have Tetsuzaemon assisting you. Why do you need to steal Rukia from my division?"
Ukitake glared at him resentfully, looking as though he wanted to strangle him.
"That's none of your concern. I have my own plans."
Kazuma gestured casually toward Sentarō.
"Besides, even without Rukia, you still have Kotsubaki Sentarō. He's quite capable."
The blatant flattery made Sentarō stand a little taller, practically glowing with pride.
"If you truly can't bear to lose her, then we can go back to the original condition. Draw the hundred portraits and apologize in public."
"I need to think…"
Ukitake spent a long time weighing his choices.
Should he draw one hundred portraits, or sacrifice Rukia to the Seventh Division?
In the end, he gritted his teeth and chose to sacrifice Rukia.
Worst case, he could visit the First Division later, complain miserably to Yama-jii, and try to steal her back.
That sounded like an excellent plan.
"Well? Have you decided?"
Kazuma grew impatient and pushed him for an answer.
"I'll issue the transfer order later and send Rukia to the Seventh Division. Are you satisfied now?"
"Excellent. A wise man knows when to accept reality."
Kazuma stood, patted Ukitake's shoulder, and smiled triumphantly.
"I'll be going, then. Carry on with your work."
He turned and left the tea room.
Ukitake watched him go and wept quietly on the inside.
He had only himself to blame for carelessly drawing that ridiculous portrait and letting Kazuma catch him.
"Oh? Sensei, are you finished?"
Ichigo saw Kazuma come out humming cheerfully and immediately guessed everything had gone his way.
"All finished. Go back inside, Ichigo. Ukitake still has some details to discuss with you."
Kazuma was in such a good mood that, for once, he didn't call Ichigo an orange-haired brat.