"Rukia, haven't you all been wondering where Ichigo went? He's here."
Speak of the devil.
Only moments ago, Rukia and the others had still been guessing where the brat had disappeared to, and now he'd shown up on his own.
"Huh? Where's Ichigo? Where is he? I don't see him!"
Rukia had just raised her cup, ready for another happy sip of wine, but she put it down at once and sprang to her feet.
Her eyes widened as she looked eagerly around, fidgeting so much she looked like an impatient little monkey.
"Stop jumping around. He's only just approaching the Seventh Division."
Kazuma rolled his eyes and glanced at Rukia with distaste as she kept bouncing all over the place.
"Oh! Kazuma-sensei, how did you know Kurosaki-kun was coming?"
Orihime leaned closer with wide, curious eyes.
"Can you read the future somehow? Or are you secretly some kind of fortune-teller?"
"What kind of nonsense fills your heads all day?"
Kazuma shook his head helplessly.
"I sensed the brat's reiatsu. How else would I know where he was?"
He couldn't help thinking that not one of his students was remotely normal.
One was an actual Quincy, while two others had unusual Fullbring abilities.
What ordinary household produced children like these?
"Forget it. Tetsuzaemon, sorry to trouble you again, but go bring them inside."
Kazuma gave a helpless smile.
"Not at all. Serving the captain is a lieutenant's duty."
Tetsuzaemon turned and hurried toward the entrance.
At this point he'd practically become a full-time errand runner.
First he'd gone all the way out to fetch Rukia.
Then he'd barely finished welcoming Kuruyashiki before being sent out again to receive Kurosaki Ichigo.
...
As Ōmaeda hurried toward the Seventh Division with Ichigo, they found Iba Tetsuzaemon already waiting at the entrance.
"Lieutenant Iba! Why are you here?"
Ōmaeda's question was completely pointless.
This was the Seventh Division. Where else was its lieutenant supposed to be?
Even Ichigo couldn't resist rolling his eyes.
'This guy really is an idiot.'
"Stop wasting time and come inside. The captain is waiting for you."
Tetsuzaemon merely smiled at Ōmaeda's ridiculous question rather than bothering to answer, and waved for the pair to follow.
'Captain Kazuma is that impressive?'
Ichigo's mind went sharp at once.
'He knew we were coming and sent his lieutenant to meet us before we even got here?'
Someone with that kind of perception had to be unimaginably powerful.
More importantly, Ichigo desperately wanted to know whether this mysterious Captain Kazuma was truly the same disciplinary dean from his school.
Everything he'd learned so far seemed to point that way.
Nervous and curious both, Ichigo followed Tetsuzaemon into the captain's office.
The moment his eyes landed on the painfully familiar face inside, he froze.
There was no mistaking him.
It really was that completely unreliable disciplinary dean from school.
His clothes might have changed, but Ichigo would know that face anywhere — especially that infuriating smile.
Even if the man were burned to ashes, Ichigo was confident he could still pick him out.
"Well, well! Look who it is, the orange-haired brat. It's been a long time. Your teacher has missed you terribly! Hahaha!"
While Ichigo stood frozen in shock, Kazuma broke the silence first.
A teasing smile hung on his face, making the supposedly warm greeting sound utterly insincere.
"It really is you, you bastard! Didn't you promise to stop calling me that?!"
That familiar, irritating nickname set off Ichigo's temper instantly.
A vein bulged on his forehead as he glared at Kazuma, his eyes practically spitting fire.
He didn't appreciate the greeting in the slightest.
At that moment, Ichigo wanted nothing more than to rush forward and tear that obnoxious smile off Kazuma's face.
Unfortunately, reason told him that would only create more trouble.
So for all the anger boiling inside him, he could do nothing but imagine how satisfying it would feel.
"Kurosaki-kun!"
"Ichigo!"
Orihime and Rukia called out quickly when they saw his furious expression.
Orihime stopped him because she thought speaking to a teacher with such a terrible attitude was completely inappropriate.
Rukia, meanwhile, was more concerned for Ichigo's safety.
She knew her teacher's temper far too well. If Ichigo actually rushed forward and challenged him, Kazuma might hang him from the ceiling and beat him half to death.
Just imagining it made Rukia nervous on his behalf.
"Orange-haired brat, have you never heard of respecting your elders?"
Kazuma narrowed his eyes, already enjoying the chance to toy with him.
"Did everything I taught you go in one ear and out the other? That attitude toward your teacher is completely unacceptable. Keep it up and I'll string you up and beat some manners into you."
"You want to beat me?"
Ichigo's eyes widened as he stubbornly raised his chin.
"My old man used to be a captain too, just like you!"
He dragged Shiba Isshin's name out again, confident it would protect him.
"Tch. Don't try using your father to pressure me."
Kazuma folded his arms and looked down at him with open disdain.
"When I became a captain, your father hadn't even been born yet. Why would I be afraid of him?"
Ichigo went blank.
He hadn't expected even his father's name to be useless.
"You're a horrible old man. Completely rotten to the bone!"
All the fight drained out of him at once.
"Hello, sensei."
Ichigo reluctantly forced out the greeting, then obediently shut his mouth.
"That's more like it! Hahaha!"
Kazuma looked thoroughly satisfied.
Tormenting the protagonist now and then really was excellent for the mood!
...
"Captain Kazuma! Could you please give me your autograph? I've always been one of your most devoted fans!"
A round figure suddenly popped out of the crowd and stared at Kazuma with eager anticipation.
It was none other than Ōmaeda Marechiyo.
Kazuma had only just finished his heated argument with Kurosaki Ichigo and was about to catch his breath when Ōmaeda's sudden request caught him completely off guard.
As if performing a magic trick, Ōmaeda somehow produced a rather abstract portrait of Kazuma and carefully held it out to him.
"Huh? I actually have fans?"
Kazuma stared at the foolish-looking lieutenant in disbelief.
"And one as enthusiastic as you? I'm flattered. But when exactly did you become my fan, and where did you even get this portrait of me?"
"Well… the truth is, Captain Kazuma, you've always been the greatest idol of every member of the Shinigami Men's Association."
Ōmaeda scratched his head awkwardly and gave an embarrassed laugh.
"As for the portrait… every member has a copy."
Kazuma was surprised and amused at once.
He'd never imagined that, without even realizing it, he'd become an object of worship among Soul Society's male Shinigami.
"The Shinigami Men's Association?"
Kazuma frowned slightly as the name stirred a distant, blurry memory.
He vaguely recalled hearing about such a group before, but the details had long since faded.
His gaze slowly shifted toward Tetsuzaemon.
The lieutenant immediately looked uncomfortable, his normally upright posture shrinking a little under Kazuma's stare.
"Ahem! C-Captain, well… I founded the association."
Tetsuzaemon coughed twice to break the silence.
"And I'm also its president."
Though he had no idea how he'd suddenly been found out, there was no point denying it now.
The moment he admitted it, the hardened tough-guy image he'd carefully maintained collapsed like a sandcastle hit by a wave.
"Pfft!"
Rukia spat out the wine she'd just sipped.
She'd certainly heard of the mysterious Shinigami Men's Association. After all, she was a member of the Shinigami Women's Association herself.
She'd always been curious about the group the men had formed. Who founded it? Who were its members?
Never in her wildest dreams had she expected proof of it to turn up here — in Ōmaeda's hands, of all places.
More shocking still was the portrait he held.
Rukia needed only one glance to recognize the artist.
There was no mistake.
It had been drawn personally by the gentle, dignified captain of the Thirteenth Division, Ukitake Jūshirō.
'Could Captain Ukitake be a member too?'
Ōmaeda had just claimed that every member had the same portrait.
Rukia's eyes widened as she froze in place.
It felt as though she'd happily settled in to watch some entertaining scandal, only for it to land squarely on her own head.
Kazuma noticed her stunned expression and narrowed his eyes thoughtfully.
After studying her a moment, a faint smile appeared on his lips.
"Tetsuzaemon, tell me. Who drew this portrait?"
Faced with the direct question, Tetsuzaemon panicked.
His mouth opened and closed several times, but he couldn't force out a complete answer.
"If I had to guess, this is probably Jūshirō's work, isn't it?"
Tetsuzaemon's stammering only made Kazuma more certain.
He shook his head with an amused smile.
Whenever Rukia wrote letters or drew pictures, her work was always so abstract that no normal person could make sense of it.
Now he finally knew where she'd learned it.
"C-Captain, how did you figure that out?"
Tetsuzaemon finally recovered and admitted the truth, his face full of surprise.
"I have Rukia to thank. Her work has exactly the same level of artistic abstraction as this portrait."
"H-Hahaha!"
The moment Kazuma said it, Ichigo and Orihime burst out laughing.
They clutched their stomachs and bent over, tears spilling from their eyes as they glanced at each other.
So the person who'd taught Rukia to write and draw was just as terrible at it as she was!
Had they known the man Kazuma meant was one of the Gotei 13's captains, their laughter probably would have died on the spot, replaced by complete disbelief.
"Tetsuzaemon, who exactly belongs to this association?"
Kazuma turned to his lieutenant with open curiosity.
He'd never paid the group much attention before.
"The Shinigami Men's Association started with very few members," Tetsuzaemon explained, straightening proudly.
"At first it was only me, Captain Ukitake, Hisagi Shūhei, Kira Izuru, Ogidō Harunobu, Ōmaeda, and Akon."
"But ever since your battle with Aizen, the number of Shinigami asking to join has risen sharply. Nearly all of them are your loyal fans."
"What does any of that have to do with me?"
Kazuma stared at him blankly.
He couldn't see the connection at all.
He'd merely fought Aizen.
Why had that suddenly made the Shinigami Men's Association explode in popularity?
"Ahem…"
Tetsuzaemon coughed awkwardly.
"Well, I'm your lieutenant, and I'm also the association's president. Because of that connection, everyone naturally assumes joining will make it easier to meet you and spend time around you."
---------
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