这里是完整,忠
Dusk fell over the backyard, and the chirp of insects grew faint.
Shen Ruowei did not come every day, but today her heart was restless, afraid that he had truly grown angry with her over what had happened that day, and would never want to see her again.
She crept quietly toward the shabby rented house, her cloth gown washed pale, with faint patches on the cuffs. Yet none of this could hide her delicate, lovely appearance—she was still charming, in a pitiful, neighborly way.
She knocked gently on the door.
It creaked open.
Flickering lamplight inside cast Qin Ruhai's tall, slender shadow against the wall. He lifted his eyes to look at her, his features growing even more captivating in the dim glow. One glance was enough to make her heart flutter wildly.
Shen Ruowei stepped inside softly and placed the silver coins she had brought on the corner of the table, her voice thin and guilty.
"Brother Ruhai… about what I said today… I truly had no choice. I dare not disobey my father. I never meant those words from the bottom of my heart…"
She inched closer almost timidly, slipping one arm around his sleeve and leaning gently against his shoulder, her posture dependent and tender. She was close enough to breathe in the faint scent of ink on his clothes, the intimacy leaving endless unspoken implications hanging in the air.
Qin Ruhai did not push her away, nor did he respond. He simply let her lean on him. Their bodies were close, but their hearts were worlds apart. He could feel her slight trembling, yet in his mind, only Su Liwan appeared—her beauty by the misty bridge, her graceful figure, her fair, delicate skin that had made his heart race the moment he saw her. With his frustration from the Su residence bottled up all day, he found an outlet in her.
Shen Ruowei buried her face against his shoulder, her voice choked with tears.
"Brother Ruhai, I know I shouldn't have come, but I can't stop thinking about you…"
Qin Ruhai spoke in a low, cold tone.
"Your father insulted me terribly today."
"I know, but I had to say those things, or he would have beaten me to death…" Her eyes reddened. "I only have you in my heart, Brother Ruhai. I never looked down on you, not even for a moment."
He sneered inwardly. She had joined her father in calling him shameless in broad daylight, yet now she crept here in the middle of the night, clinging to him affectionately. She was the one who truly had no sense of shame.
"If you fear him that much, why come here at all?" His voice was calm, but his fingers brushed lightly through her hair, a faint, ambiguous gesture.
Shen Ruowei trembled and pressed herself even closer.
"I don't care. I only want you, Brother Ruhai… Please don't send me away…"
She was truly terrified—afraid that once he let go of her, he would never want her again.
Qin Ruhai glanced down at her hand clutching his clothes, his eyes darkening, but he did not push her away.
Since she clung to him so desperately, he might as well take his time to shatter her already fragile mind completely.
He pressed a light, icy hand on her shoulder, his tone gentle yet unyielding.
"Your parents have always wanted a son. To this family, you are nothing but excess baggage."
Shen Ruowei flinched, a faint glimmer of hope still in her eyes as she whispered uncertainly.
"That's just Father… He… he wouldn't really be that cruel…"
Even as she spoke, her voice weakened, fading to almost nothing.
He watched her struggling to deny it, a flicker of cold pity in his eyes.
"I have seen it many times in the alley. Over trivial things, they scold and beat you harshly. Other girls are treasures, held in the palms of their families. But you live in constant fear, even afraid to breathe freely."
Memories of being shouted at, pushed around, and ignored flooded her mind, stinging her heart.
Her lips trembled uncontrollably; any words she might have said to argue were stuck in her throat, unable to come out.
Seeing her defenses crumbling, he delivered the final blow.
"If your mother gives you a younger brother someday… do you truly believe there will still be a place for you in this home?"
It felt like a bucket of ice water poured over her head.
She froze completely, the last spark of hope in her eyes dying out. Her gaze turned empty, scattered, utterly broken.
Qin Ruhai leaned slightly toward her, his voice soft and hypnotic.
"Do not be afraid. In this world, only I will protect you. Only I am willing to keep you by my side."
This time, she did not struggle or deny it.
She leaned against him numbly, her whole body drained of strength, reduced to nothingness.
Over and over in her mind, his cruel words repeated, until only one thought remained—
truly, only he would never abandon her.
In her most vulnerable, dazed moment, he gently led her to the bronze mirror.
"Look inside."
Shen Ruowei lifted her head.
In the mirror, she was delicate and pretty, her messy hair only making her look more pitiful, her eyes bright, her skin fair. She was truly beautiful.
Suddenly he stepped closer, his movements unusually gentle, and slowly pulled the hairpin from her hair.
His cool fingertips brushed her temples, tender to the point of ambiguity.
He held the pin out to her, asking softly.
"You say you love me. Is that true?"
Shen Ruowei trembled, almost crying out.
"It's true, Brother Ruhai. I truly love you…"
His warm smile faded, and he pressed the pin into her hand, making her grip the sharp end toward her own reflection.
"If you love me, then use this pin to ruin your face.
Do it now. Prove your sincerity."
Shen Ruowei stood frozen, her hand shaking violently as she held the pin, unable to bring herself to move.
Even with her mind broken by his words, the instinct to survive and cherish her beauty still held her back.
Qin Ruhai watched her hesitation, his smile vanishing completely, his voice turning ice-cold.
"What? You dare not?
So all your declarations of love were nothing but falsehoods from start to finish."
Her face paled instantly. She shook her head frantically, her chest aching with panic, desperate to explain.
As she trembled and her defenses shattered completely, he spoke again, each sentence sharper than the last, cutting into her heart layer by layer.
"You are unwanted baggage to your family. Your parents long for a son; they have never truly cared for you."
She flinched, her eyes reddening instantly, nails digging deep into her palm. He was right, she realized.
"In appearance, you are plain and ordinary. Even if you were left on the streets of Qingxi, no one would spare you a glance."
She stared fixedly at the mirror, her breath catching. The more she looked, the more flustered she became, truly believing she was ugly and worthless.
"In character, you are shameless, debauched, and worthless. You do not even have basic dignity."
She lowered her head in shame, tears falling uncontrollably, filled with self-loathing.
He paused, then delivered the most fatal line, soft as a sigh yet enough to crush her completely.
"Even the lowest courtesan has men willing to dote on her.
But you… you are so ugly that people cannot bear to be near you, so lowly that no one would even look at you properly."
She turned ice-cold, her vision blurring, barely able to stand. She was nailed to the spot in utter despair.
Worse than even the lowest woman… That was how he saw her.
She stared wildly at the mirror, her breathing in disarray.
The lovely face in the reflection grew uglier and filthier in her eyes, like some hideous demon.
A violent, repulsive madness rose inside her.
She clenched her fist so tightly she almost shattered the mirror, convinced she was truly disgusting, truly filthy.
"You have no family, no beauty, no virtue—nothing but filth that people would rather not look at."
In this world, even if you were given to others for nothing, they would only reject you in disgust. Only I, with compassion in my heart, am willing to tolerate your presence.
"You say you love me?"
He laughed coldly, cruelly.
"How dare someone like you even speak of love?"
She trembled violently, lips trembling, unable to utter a single word, only endless despair.
Two thoughts tore at her mind, her sanity crumbling little by little.
"You keep saying your heart belongs to me, do you not?"
He looked at her reflection, his voice calm to the point of cruelty.
"Then prove it.
Ruin this face of yours, the face that only knows how to deceive and turn sides."
"Destroy it, and I will believe you."
Shen Ruowei stood frozen, her soul seemingly ripped from her body.
The sharp tip of the pin pointed at her reflection, yet she could do nothing but shake, unable even to cry.
Qin Ruhai watched her motionless, the last flicker of emotion in his eyes disappearing. He spoke lightly.
"It's late. You may go back."
She nodded numbly, like a wandering ghost with no direction, holding the pin as she stumbled out of the house.
She could not even remember how she had made her way back to the Shen courtyard.
As she neared her room, she saw her mother with her back turned, tightly clutching a bulging money bag, hiding it nervously inside her sleeve.
Hearing footsteps, her mother spun around, her face pale. She quickly gestured for silence, whispering urgently.
"Keep your voice down, don't let your father hear…"
On any other day, Shen Ruowei would have tensed up and asked where the money had come from.
But right now, everything felt distant and unreal.
Her mother's panic, the family's scheming, the judgment of others… none of it mattered anymore.
She only lowered her eyes, clutching the cold, sharp pin tightly, repeating his words over and over in her head.
Ugly. Filthy. Worthless. Unloved. Fake. Good for nothing.
She had sunk into a void of nothingness, unable to feel any emotion at all.