I don't sleep after Kael leaves.
He held me in the forest for a long time—long enough that I almost believed him. Almost forgot that his arms would eventually wrap around Sera instead. Almost let myself feel something other than cold.
But the moment he walked me to my door and kissed my forehead—goodnight, Luna—the cold came back.
Because I know where he's going tomorrow night.
Nine o'clock. His study. Sera.
The affair is starting earlier than I remember. In my first life, it didn't begin until six months into the marriage. Now? Barely two weeks.
Something changed.
Me.
I've been different. Distant. Unreachable. Kael feels the shift, even if he doesn't understand it. He's seeking warmth where he knows he can find it—in Sera's easy smiles and willing arms.
I should feel hurt.
I feel nothing.
Tuesday morning, I rise before dawn.
The pack house is silent. Kael's door is closed. His shoes are outside—he's inside, sleeping alone. Or pretending to.
I dress in grey. Invisible. A ghost in her own home.
The library is dark when I enter. I don't go to the hidden door. Not yet. Instead, I pull a random book from the shelf and sit in the window seat, waiting.
Aldric finds me at six.
"You're up early," he says.
"So are you."
He sits across from me. In the grey light, his face looks older. Tired. The weight of twenty years of secrets pressing down on his shoulders.
"Did you read the folder?" he asks.
"Every page."
"And?"
"And I have questions."
He nods. "I expected that."
I close the book—some novel I'm not reading. "You said you've been protecting me from the shadows. How?"
"Misinformation. Misdirection. When the order sent assassins, I warned your guardians. When they tried to trace your scent, I masked it. When they got close, I sent them elsewhere."
"Why?"
"Because I owed your family a debt." He looks at his hands. "I opened the gate, Elena. I couldn't close it. But I could make sure their daughter survived."
"The order doesn't know I'm alive?"
"They suspect. The massacre was twenty years ago. The Nightstar bloodline is supposed to be extinct. But there have been rumors. Whispers." He meets my eyes. "Your mating to Kael stirred some of them. A Nightstar child would carry the bloodline's power. The order is watching."
"Kael doesn't know."
"No. Kael knows nothing. He's a tool—useful, ambitious, easily manipulated." Aldric's voice hardens. "That's why they chose Shadowfang. Why they positioned me here. To control the Alpha. To keep an eye on the territory."
"And to kill me, when the time came."
He doesn't deny it.
"The execution in three years—that was the order's plan?"
Aldric hesitates. "You know about that?"
Careful.
"I know more than you think."
He studies me. The grey eyes narrow. "You're not just different, Elena. You're prepared. Like you've already lived through something."
I don't answer.
He doesn't push. "Yes. The execution was their plan. Frame you for murder. Eliminate the last Nightstar. Blame it on pack justice." He pauses. "I couldn't stop it. I tried. But by then, I'd lost their trust. They suspected I was protecting someone."
"Did they?"
"They still do. That's why I have to be careful. Why we both do." He stands. "I'll help you. But you have to trust me."
Trust.
The word feels foreign. I trusted in my first life. It killed me.
"Show me something," I say. "Something that proves you're not playing both sides."
He thinks for a moment. Then: "The order has a symbol. A black sun. You'll find it carved into the walls of the hidden room beneath the library. I put it there—to remind myself what I serve."
"You serve them."
"I pretend to serve them. There's a difference."
"Is there?"
He doesn't answer. Just walks away, leaving me alone with the rising sun and the weight of his confession.
Nine o'clock comes faster than I want.
I sit in my room, pretending to read. The clock on the wall ticks. Each second is a small hammer driving nails into something I can't name.
At eight forty-five, I hear Kael's footsteps in the hall. He pauses outside my door.
"Elena?"
"Yes?"
A hesitation. "I have meetings tonight. Don't wait up."
"Of course."
His footsteps fade.
I wait five minutes. Then I stand, pull on a dark cloak, and slip into the hallway.
The pack house has two staircases. The main one, wide and grand, used for ceremonies and guests. And the servant's staircase, narrow and hidden, used by staff to move without being seen.
I take the servant's staircase.
The walls are bare stone. The steps creak under my weight. I move slowly, deliberately, placing my feet on the edges where the wood is strongest.
The third floor is dark. Kael's study is at the end of the hall. Light spills from beneath the door.
I press myself against the wall and listen.
Sera's voice first: soft, laughing. "You're so tense, Kael. When's the last time you relaxed?"
"I don't remember." His voice. Tired. "Elena's been… different."
"Different how?"
"I don't know. Distant. Like she's somewhere else even when she's in the room."
"Maybe she's just adjusting." A pause. "Or maybe she's not the woman you thought she was."
The sound of movement. A chair creaking.
"Kael." Sera's voice lowers. "You deserve to be happy. You deserve someone who sees you. Not someone who's just… there."
"You think I don't know that?"
"Then why stay?"
A long silence.
"Because she's my mate," Kael says finally. "The Moon Goddess chose her. I don't get to just… throw that away."
"You wouldn't be throwing it away. You'd be acknowledging that the goddess makes mistakes."
Another silence. Longer this time.
Then: "You sound like you've thought about this."
"I've thought about you." Sera's voice is barely a whisper. "I've thought about you a lot, Kael."
My hands curl into fists.
I've heard enough.
I slip back down the servant's staircase, silent as the grave, and return to my room before either of them emerges.
I don't cry.
I don't scream.
I sit on the edge of my bed, staring at the wall, and I feel nothing.
This is the moment, in my first life, when my heart would have shattered. When I would have confronted them. Begged Kael to choose me. Made a fool of myself.
Instead, I take out my notebook and write.
9:15 PM – Sera in Kael's study. Physical proximity confirmed. Emotional manipulation initiated. Affair likely to escalate within weeks.
I write it like a report. Clinical. Detached.
Because that's what this is now.
Evidence.
At midnight, Kael comes to bed.
Not to sleep—just to change clothes. He doesn't look at me. Doesn't speak.
"Long meeting?" I ask.
He pauses. "Yes."
"Anything I should know about?"
"No." He pulls off his shirt. There's a smudge of lipstick on his collar. Pink. Sera's shade.
I don't point it out.
"Goodnight, Kael."
"Goodnight."
He leaves. The door clicks shut.
I stare at the ceiling and plan.