Zabina
This has been the longest day of my life.
I'm lying on the thick rug, my gaze fixed on the ceiling lamp. The marks running across my skin burn with a deep pain, as if someone were pulling at my veins from the inside.
I keep replaying the moment Abisai turned his back on me and gave the order to have me arrested. I wipe a tear away with rage, almost scratching my cheek.
He killed my mother.
I repeat it to myself every second, like a mantra, hoping the hatred will finally take root. But I can't hate him completely.
With what I saw in the dead emperor's eyes I have more than enough reason to hate this cursed race. To avenge my people. To claim what belongs to me. Not because I desire it, but because I need to feel some peace… and above all, to feel less dirty and exposed before the spirits watching me from the shadows.
The door opens.
I squeeze my eyes shut and pretend to sleep.
The door closes.
The footsteps approach — steady and heavy. My heart stirs traitorously. It's him. I know before he speaks.
"I know you're awake. Get up."
I open my eyes and focus on him. He's dressed entirely in black, the imperial crown on his head. The knot in my stomach tightens until it hurts.
He sits in the armchair across from me and crosses one leg with elegance, resting his head in his right hand. His posture is that of an emperor who has all the time in the world.
"I'm waiting for you."
I get up without hurry, brushing off my dress that's stained with blood, and settle into the armchair across from him.
We look at each other in silence. The air between us grows thick, heavy with everything we're not saying.
He moistens his lips. Before he can speak, I get there first with a sarcastic voice.
"Congratulations. You're the emperor."
He furrows his brow. Of course he notices the venom in my tone.
"You know it's dangerous for you to be in front of me, don't you?" I say. "I can kill you without needing to touch you."
He raises an eyebrow, unperturbed.
"You won't."
I bite my lower lip and look away, fighting the tears threatening to betray me.
"Vacul wanted to sacrifice me," I continue, staring at a distant bookshelf. "After accusing me of the death of your entire empire, he decided I was more useful to him alive because of the bond. My people wanted revenge… and I gave it to them. Did I act wrongly, my lord?"
"Stop being cynical."
"Your father abused my mother," I say through gritted teeth, digging my nails into the armchair. "Your uncle knows what I am — he hunted us. Because of him my mother was taken prisoner. Your cousin thought I'd serve him better alive than dead. And on top of everything… on top of everything I had to go and fall in love with you."
"Do you regret it?"
I look at him, stunned. Why is he asking that now?
He stands slowly and places his hands on the back of my armchair, leaning over me and forcing me to press back against the cushion. My heart is in my mouth.
"Do you regret it, Zabina?" he repeats in a low voice.
I clench my jaw.
"Yes. Because you and I are impossible. Because you have a wife and a cursed crown. Because I am a problem. Because I won't let you use me… and because I'm going to deliver justice to my people by taking half your kingdom."
He lets out a short, dark laugh.
"You think you can do that?" his words taste of pure challenge.
"Yes I can."
He looks at me with a mix of astonishment and something hotter, darker.
"My lineage backs me," I mutter.
"Well I'd love to see you try. Who would have thought? I brought a viper out of the Jurdiena forest," he murmurs without taking his eyes off mine.
I try to speak, but his mouth claims mine with fury. It's not a kiss. It's a punishment. Hard, demanding, full of contained rage. I bite him in response and he growls against my lips, gripping my nape firmly to deepen the kiss until I run out of air.
I push him with both hands, but only manage to make him press me harder against the armchair. My nails dig into his chest through his suit. He bites my lower lip savagely and I moan with pain and pleasure mixed together.
"I hate you," I hiss against his mouth.
"Liar," he growls and lifts me from the armchair as if I weigh nothing.
He slams me against the nearest wall. The impact knocks the air out of me. His hands are brutal as they tear the laces of my dress. I pull at his suit with rage, ripping buttons that scatter across the floor. When we're finally skin against skin, the contact is like two storms colliding.
He lifts my legs and wraps them around his waist. He enters me in one single violent, deep, merciless thrust.
I scream.
He doesn't stop. He drives forward with force, each thrust becoming a claim, a punishment, a savage need neither of us can control.
"Tell me you hate me now," he gasps against my neck, biting hard enough to leave a mark.
"I hate you!" I scream, but my hips move against his with the same violence, seeking more, demanding more.
He pins me against the wall with each drive of his hips. My nails scratch his back, leaving red furrows.
He growls and bites my shoulder, sucking the skin until it hurts.
The pleasure is cruel, almost unbearable, mixed with all the rage, the pain and the betrayal that separates us.
We roll onto the bed.
I climb on top, pinning him against the mattress, and ride him with blind rage, moving fast and hard.
He grips my hips with fingers that leave bruises and pushes upward, meeting me thrust for thrust.
The symbols on my skin begin to glow with a violent intensity. His respond just as furiously. Slowly they merge into an intense, pulsing gold that runs along our arms, our chests, our hips. Each thrust makes the golden light intensify, as if the bond were sealing itself in living, furious fire.
I bite my lips when the orgasm tears through me like a burning bolt of lightning, breaking me from within. Abisai tenses beneath me, growling something through clenched teeth.
I collapse against his chest, breathless, exhausted.
Sad.
The symbols glow fiercely for a few eternal seconds… and then begin to fade slowly, leaving only a faint golden shimmer over our sweaty, marked skin.
Neither of us speaks.
His hand caresses my back.
I lift my head and look at him.
"This changes nothing," I whisper, my voice broken. "I'm going to obey the order that was placed upon me…"
He lets out a low laugh that silences me.
"How naive you are," he murmurs, still inside me. "You're not going to obey anyone but me. You'll make do with my father's death, which was already quite a gift. Forget your nonsense about revenge. You belong to me, Zabina. You're mine. To the bond, to my bed and to this damned kingdom. And the sooner you accept it, the less painful your life will be."
His words hit me like a lash.
"Make do?" I ask, my voice trembling but firm. "That I belong to you? I'm not your property, Abisai."
"Yes, Zabina. I already know who you are — direct descendant of Shaul Thigner. Interesting. That makes you more valuable and makes this bond more powerful. Because we are the last ones alive of our lineage. This bond is a blood pact between you and me and whether you want to admit it or not, you are bound by the gods."
"No," I shake my head. "I can't betray my people like this…"
Abisai grabs me by the arms firmly and pulls away from me abruptly, leaving my body in one swift movement. He gets out of bed in a fluid motion and begins dressing without deigning to look at me.
"Then keep dreaming of your justice if that makes you feel less like a traitor to your own blood," he says coldly as he buttons his trousers. "But we both know that every time I touch you, you'll surrender just like now. The bond doesn't let you choose, Zabina. And I won't allow it either."
His words are like poison spilling over an open wound. I sit on the bed, wrapped in a sheet, the golden marks still pulsing faintly on my skin. Tears burn my eyes and threaten to spill over.
"You're cruel…" I whisper, my voice breaking despite my efforts to hold myself together. "Cruel and selfish."
"I'd say we're even," he growls.
He finally looks at me, and in his eyes there isn't a trace of warmth — only cold, dark possession.
"Hate me all you want," he answers, his voice low and sharp. "As long as you're alive and inside this castle, you're mine. Get used to it."
He walks to the door without another word. When he closes it behind him with a sharp slam, the sound echoes through the room like a final verdict.
I'm left alone on the tangled bed, his scent still clinging to my skin and silent tears falling down my cheeks.
I hate him.
I hate him with everything I have.
And the worst part is that a part of me is still burning for him, betraying me even now.