"Oh, you may not think I'm pretty, But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A smarter hat than me.
You can keep your bowlers black,
Your top hats sleek and tall,
For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat
And I can cap them all.
There's nothing hidden in your head
The Sorting Hat can't see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought to be.
You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart;
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil;
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
If you've a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;
Or perhaps in Slytherin
You'll make your real friends,
Those cunning folk use any means
To achieve their ends.
So put me on! Don't be afraid!
And don't get in a flap!
You're in safe hands (though I have none)
For I'm a Thinking Cap!"
***
"Bones, Susan!"
Another Bones to follow in the family footsteps, eh?
"That would be wonderful, please and thank you."
Good luck Miss Bones, enjoy "HUFFLEPUFF!"
***
"Granger, Hermione!"
Oh, very smart, young woman. You certainly enjoy a research based challenge don't you?
"Yes, I really do."
But you're quite ambitious as well, are you not? Big dreams of exciting careers and helping to change the world?
"Yes! Exactly!"
Hmm, but not very cunning are you? Too much trust and reliance on authority figures...
"Well they are here to help, why wouldn't I trust them?"
Ha, well reasoned! A dashing bit of bravery in there, isn't there?
"I suppose so, yes."
You are a brave and ambitious girl, but above it all you treasure knowledge and intelligence. There's really only one option... "RAVENCLAW!"
***
"Longbottom, Neville!"
"Gryffindor, Gryffindor, Gryffindor."
What? Be quiet Longbottom, I'm reading your mind.
"P-please, Mr Hat, I want to b-b-be in Gryffindor."
But look how loyal you are! And goodness, you are a dedicated and hard worker aren't you? You'd do so well in Hufflepuff, lad.
"My g-gran will k-k-kill me if I'm in Hufflepuff. Says it's for duds."
Tell your grandmother she's an idiot. Hufflepuff is filled with the best sort of people.
"P-please, I can b-be brave."
Well, you certainly are chivalrous. And there is some bravery in you. I suppose it'll grow nicely in... "GRYFFINDOR!"
***
"Malfoy, Draco!"
"Don't say anything Hat, my father said to tell you that I will either be in Slytherin or he will curse you in to a flowered bonnet."
Ah, Lucius' son. You don't have a drop of the subtle cunning that your father held but you do possess quite a bit of self-preservation and determination, don't you? Enjoy... "SLYTHERIN!"
***
"Weasley, Ronald!"
Another Weasley, eh? I know just wher-
"I am NOT 'another Weasley'. My name is Ron. Remember it."
... awfully determined to stand out from your siblings, aren't you?
"What? I'm not determined. Don't get any berk ideas. I'm bloody chivalrous and brave, got it?"
Ha! 'Bloody chivalrous', good one lad. Oh no, you're plenty brave but ambitious as well. Head boy, quidditch captain, and prefect? I don't think that's even possible.
"Well that's what I'm gonna do, okay? I'm gonna be all those things, and more! Then nobody's gonna call me 'another Weasley' ever again. They'll say, 'oh that's Bill, Ron's older brother'."
Course they will lad, you can accomplish all your goals and more in... "SLYTHERIN!"
***
The Great Hall held its breath when "Potter, Harry!" had been called forward by Professor McGonagall.
Headmaster Albus Dumbledore looked at the child gravely, only he could see the marked similarities to another young boy years ago.
Black hair, hard eyes, small and lithe stature. Shoulders squared as if he were facing a guillotine but with a glint of appreciation for the magic that surrounds him. The magic that is his birthright.
Yes, he could see the similarities right down to the tilt of the boys head and the white knuckled grip he held on his wand.
***
The Hall was silent as the sorting hat sat on the child's head. Everyone desperately wishing they could hear the mental conversation being shared, but sure they knew of his eventual placement.
Minerva hoped the child of two of her favorite students would grace her house. At the same time, she wasn't sure she wouldn't be a little relieved not to have the Weasley Twins and the next generation Maurader in Gryffindor at the same time.
Susan Bones at the Hufflepuff table remembered Harry's fevered expression as he pulled out stacks of books at the library and knew he would be in blue and bronze any moment now.
Hermione Granger sat primly in her seat and wondered if Harry had worked very hard to become so powerful or if he was simply born that way? She was sure he would go to Hufflepuff but now that she thinks about it he didn't seem to value fair play very much.
Severus Snape swirled his drink around in his hand, a bored look on his face. He wished Potter would hurry up and be sorted in to Slytherin so they could continue the sorting.
***
Three minutes down and whispers began breaking out in the Hall... four minutes and students were standing on the benches to better glimpse the tiny kid seated on the stool... five minutes in and there it was, famous Harry Potter is a hat stall, the first one since Albus Dumbledore himself.
Professor McGonagall was starting to shift on her feet slightly. Merlin himself took only a little over eight minutes, Albus had taken seven, and Potter was now at ten.
She glanced at Albus and raised an inquiring brow. He waved his hand slightly, an indicator that they should just wait.
At twelve minutes and 42 seconds the hat opened its brim wide and announced, "SLYTHERIN!"