It had been nice, being on the roof. It made Harry feel better, until it was time to walk back to Privet Drive and face his relatives…
There were loads of rules in his uncle's house, but the first one that Harry learned had been 'do nothing to stand out'.
No 'freaky accidents', no made up words, nothing that wasn't normal. And Harry broke that rule in the worst way with lots of others seeing it.
Harry was sure that the other kids wasted no time in telling Uncle Vernon what happened. If Harry Hunting and video games were Dudley's top two favorite pastimes, then getting Harry in trouble with Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia was a real close third.
Harry's hands were sweaty and shaking as he approached the house. The street lamps were the only lights left on the street and Harry wasn't wholly surprised that the front door was locked. With nothing else to do, Harry squared his shoulders, looked down at the ground, and knocked.
It seemed as if Uncle Vernon had been waiting for him, or else Aunt Petunia had spotted him the second he stepped on their block. The door was immediately thrown open with a sharp bang and Harry knew just from the sound of breathing in front of him that if he looked up, he would be staring at Uncle Vernon in a pure rage. His face would be red, his mustache would be shaking, and his eyes would be cold and hateful.
"Get in here now, boy," Uncle Vernon hissed almost too quietly to be heard. Uncle Vernon was usually a yeller, he only got quiet when he was very, very, angry.
Harry only had to take one shuffling step inside before his arm was grasped by Uncle Vernon's hand in a grip so tight that Harry knew it would turn into a purple bruise. Uncle Vernon kicked the door shut and then lifted Harry by both arms to slam him against the door. Harry huffed and curled up as soon as Uncle Vernon finished shaking him.
There wasn't anything to do when Uncle Vernon was like that, he could only keep quiet and try and think of something else so nothing could hurt him much.
"EMBARRASS OUR FAMILY, WILL YOU? TOO COWARDLY TO STAND AND FACE ME?!" Uncle Vernon yelled down at Harry. He tried to lift Harry from the floor, but Harry wouldn't release the hold he had on his own legs. It only made Uncle Vernon growl and kick at Harry's leg in anger.
Harry wasn't going to bother trying to defend himself or cry, he wouldn't. It wouldn't do any good. What Harry could do was think about what would happen when he was gone from there… when he was grown up and free to never ever see his relatives again…
"WE NEVER SHOULD HAVE TAKEN YOU IN!" Uncle Vernon screamed.
Harry would be big, powerful. Nobody would kick him or scream at him… Harry would have his magic and nobody could hurt him…
"YOU ARE UNGRATEFUL! DISGUSTING! UNNATURAL!"
Nobody was gonna make Harry cry, they wouldn't hate him so much…
"IS IT ANY WONDER YOUR OWN PARENTS DIDN'T WANT YOU?!"
It felt as if the world froze in Harry's mind. It was unfair that Harry, who had been a little baby, had parents who only cared about themselves. How come kids like Dudley got parents who loved him? How come Harry got nothing?
Harry had his magic though, and Uncle Vernon could scream and kick and insult him all he wanted. If it didn't get rid of the magic before, it wouldn't do it then. If Harry only had one thing for himself, at least it was one thing that could never be taken or beaten out of him.
Who needed family or friends or - or even love when they had magic? Not Harry.
"WE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN YOU STRAIGHT TO THE CLOSEST ORPHANAGE!"
Harry ducked his head and screwed his eyes shut a little harder. He wished they would have. How could an orphanage be worse than their awful house?
It probably couldn't be, but Harry did find out how his horrible day could get much, much, worse.
"What was that?" Uncle Vernon didn't kick Harry again. Harry could hear him breathing hard and Harry went absolutely still.
He didn't say that out loud… did he?
"You think an orphanage would have been better than my home?!"
If he was allowed to be honest, he would tell him that it did sound better.
Harry began panicking instead. Uncle Vernon got mad easily, but if Harry didn't say or do anything to make it worse then he usually burned himself out quickly. Aunt Petunia could simmer for days, Uncle Vernon would have one big blow up and then he'd forget about Harry entirely for a few days.
"No, no, sir." Harry tried begging. He untucked his head and tried to give Uncle Vernon the most pathetic look he could – it was rather pathetic, he was sure.
Harry was pathetic.
It was all so pathetic and weak and one day Harry was going to be the strong one.
When Harry was strong, he would be the one to lift Uncle Vernon up by his hair and he would be the one to scream at him. When Harry was strong, he was going to make everyone regret it.
"YOU AREN'T WORTH THE MONEY I WASTED ON YOU!"
Harry didn't ask what money he spent on him, he didn't. Harry just looked at the floor and tried to claw at the hand holding him up by his hair.
It hurt, it all hurt.
"THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?!"
Harry didn't say anything, not when Uncle Vernon started screaming about Harry's parents or about Harry himself. Harry kept quiet even when Uncle Vernon demanded an answer – Harry didn't hear the question anyway – and he slammed Harry's head against the wall hard enough for stars to explode in his eyes even before they were closed.
It would be over soon… then Uncle Vernon would forget him…
Harry wished that it would work for his aunt and cousin as well. If they all forgot about him, Harry could just stay in his cupboard and sneak out often enough to get food and water. Then Harry could just focus on his magic, prepare for when he was big and strong and everyone would finally regret being so mean to him.
If they forgot about Harry then he could be free, in a small way. Then he'd use that small freedom to work up to a big one.
Harry almost felt desperate with his wish that they all forgot about him… almost as desperate as he was to just be free.
Uncle Vernon suddenly dropped Harry all at once and Harry bit his tongue when he hit the ground. Harry was surprised when Uncle Vernon seemed to have burned himself out early, but he wasn't going to complain. Harry only waited to make sure nobody else had anything they wanted to scream at him, demand of him, or do to him before he crawled to his cupboard and curled up on his little cot.
Everything hurt; not just from where Uncle Vernon kicked him and pulled his hair and slammed his head in the wall. It was more hurtful on the inside, knowing that it was going to be like that for so long.
Harry still had ten years until he was grown up, ten years that he might not even live to see.
It just wasn't fair. What did Harry ever do to his parents to be abandoned? What did Harry, as a baby, do to his relatives to be so hated?
How come other kids were happy? Was it really only Harry who got something so brilliant as magic at the cost of any kinda happiness?
Did that make him real special or extra cursed?
When Harry woke up, he was surprised that it wasn't to the sound of Aunt Petunia yelling for him. Yesterday had been bad, but not so bad that Harry wouldn't be expected to make breakfast.
Was it a test? To find a reason to punish Harry more?
Harry could just hear his aunt's shrill voice screaming, "AND THERE IS NO BACON!" Then she would use it as an excuse to prevent Harry from eating, saying he didn't cook so he didn't deserve food.
And Harry was starving to the point where he wasn't hungry, which meant he'd get a bad headache soon. Then he'd feel woozy and he would have to go sniffing around the rubbish bins, which was gross and made him feel bad about pretty much everything.
His relatives could play tricks on Harry, but he wasn't gonna fall for it.
Harry quietly opened the cupboard door and began tiptoeing his way to the kitchen. He was surprised to see Aunt Petunia actually at the stove, humming while she fried up breakfast. Aunt Petunia cooked dinner often, she didn't trust Harry to do it, but breakfast was always Harry's job.
"Er… Aunt Petunia?"
Aunt Petunia made a yipping sound and turned around, holding the spatula up like a weapon. Harry cringed, but she still started screaming.
"VERNON!" Aunt Petunia was making big eyes at Harry, looking a mixture of horrified, disgusted, and… and did she look scared? Of Harry?
"Pet?" Uncle Vernon yelled back. "Everything okay?"
Harry didn't know what he did wrong, just standing in the doorway and being pinned in place by his aunt's twisted up face, but he did know he was in for it.
"THERE IS A VAGRANT IN OUR HOUSE!" Aunt Petunia shrieked. Harry tilted his head.
Vagrant?
"CALL THE POLICE!" she added, only confusing Harry more.
Harry was so confused that it made him want to cry. Harry knew what to do when he was being called a freak, or when he was being told he was ungrateful. Harry didn't know what to do when Aunt Petunia was calling him a vagrant and maybe calling the police on him? She stood there staring at him like she didn't know him… was it – was it another test?
It wouldn't be a joke, Harry's relatives didn't make jokes or pull pranks.
Aunt Petunia didn't move, she seemed just as scared as Harry in a way as she stood in front of the stove with her spatula. Harry tried to flatten himself against the doorway when he heard Uncle Vernon storming through the house, moving faster than Harry had ever heard him move before in his whole life.
"WHA- WHO - HOW DARE YOU?!" Uncle Vernon stood midway through the living room and held one of his expensive golfing clubs up like a baseball bat. Was he going to hit Harry with that?
All because Harry didn't cook the bacon?!
"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Uncle Vernon roared, spittle flying from his mouth like one of Aunt Marge's bulldogs. "I WILL CALL THE POLICE!"
Harry was so confused that he found he didn't even have words to say. The threats didn't make any sense. Nothing made any sense.
Before Harry could decide what to do – did he curl up small? Beg for forgiveness? Run? – Uncle Vernon lunged toward him and snatched Harry up by his shirt collar. Harry was pulled through the house by Uncle Vernon and then thrown directly out the front door to land on his backside on the hard steps.
"If I ever see you near my home or my family again, I will have you locked up for the rest of your life, is that clear, boy?" Uncle Vernon snarled, glaring at Harry and shaking the golf club threateningly.
Harry scrambled backward and nodded quickly, unsure what else to do.
Uncle Vernon gave him one last look of disgust and then slammed the door shut, leaving Harry alone outside.
Harry had no idea what had just happened, but he wasn't going to test Uncle Vernon on his threat. Harry had nowhere to go, no one in the world that cared enough for him to turn to… but that was okay.
Harry had himself and his magic, he could figure everything else out later.