Gabriel glances around, seeing almost everyone is in the common area of the Hotel - Charlie had an idea for today's trust exercise, but it requires everyone. It's…handcuffing everyone into pairs for the entire day, trying to get them to trust each other more.
Molly and Cherri Bomb, for instance, are butting heads over being the main female influence in Anthony's life - rather, afterlife - so they're likely going to get paired up. The only one that's actually missing is-
Charlie glances around, asking "Where's Aunt Calli?"
Anthony scratches the side of his head, saying "Pretty sure she said she was going to be in the garage until the exercise started…"
Charlie moves to go get her, but Lucifer quickly says "Hey, Applepip, you know Gabriel's the fastest person in all of Heaven, right? He could go get her in no time flat!" He materializes next to Gabriel before anyone else can react, and grabs him by the wrist while saying "Start without us, I'll be right back after pointing him in the right direction!"
Gabriel finds himself dragged along by Lucifer down a few hallways, then then Lucifer suddenly stops and says "Calli's working on her birthday present for Charlie, Charlie cannot find out, and the garage is at the back of the hotel - I highly recommend materializing or portaling outside it, just like with any kitchen in a ten mile radius of Calli." They haven't spent the past month or so planning Charlie's party for it to get ruined now!!
Gabriel frowns, asking "What is she doing in there, then?"
Lucifer shrugs, saying "Don't know the specifics, and I never really understood the explanation she gave me - it was heavy on what she called Magical Theory. Just tell her Charlie's starting the exercise, it'll be fine…probably."
"Probably?!"
Lucifer shrugs, already heading back the way they came, and calls back over his shoulder "Or it'll explode in both your faces! Tends to happen when someone startles her!"
Gabriel groans, running a hand down his face - call him crazy, but he doesn't particularly want to get blown up! After a moment's hesitation, Gabriel Materializes just outside the building Lucifer described - a rather unassuming building he had just taken for a storage spot the one time he spotted it from a window. Now, though, he can feel Calliope's magic coming from it in waves - setting his skin tingling like mad and making the hair on his arms and the back of his neck rise up, something Lucifer has said was just how Calli's magic is. She can't change that anymore than they can change their natural hair color. He can also vaguely hear music coming from the building as he gets closer to the door, but get no response from knocking.
After a moment, one spent listening with his ear pressed firmly against the door to try and hear any explosions, Gabriel slowly opens the door, and pokes his head in to see…Calli's kneeling next to a motorcycle, casual clothing replaced by what he can only describe as 'working clothes' - smeared and stained with grease, dirt, and with several burns larger than her hands in various spots. Also, she's singing, belting out the lyrics to the song that's playing from her phone as she rubs more of what he thinks might be either oil or some kind of potion-replacement into the gears of the bike. There's also a helmet sitting on a nearby table, glowing faintly with Calli's magic from the inside.
Glancing around, Gabriel spots a second, much newer bike sitting in the corner, and various tools spread out around Calli as she works - as he watches, she quickly grabs a wrench, tightening something on the bike he doesn't see from his vantage point and likely wouldn't understand anyway before putting it aside again.
Seeing a good chance to hopefully keep himself from being blown to pieces, Gabriel clears his throat - Calli literally jumps three feet in the air, wings bursting out of her back and propelling her into the air, the windows shatter, and every single tool gets blown away from her as she lets out a screech of alarm.
Once she recognizes him, Calli slowly drops to the ground, hands losing their green glow, and she puts her wings away with a wince before asking "Fuck's sake, Gabriel, do you want me to kill you by accident? If so, I can think of a much easier way to die - just put on a sign that says 'Satan's a wuss-bag' or 'I hate demons!' and head to Wrath Ring with your wings out!"
Gabriel waits until Calli finally winds down, leaning against the doorway as she rants and raves at him until her heartrate apparently settles back into a somewhat normal rhythm. After a solid three minutes of explaining just how she could've killed him, Calli runs a hand over her face - accidentally smearing the substance she was working with all over it - and asks "Now that you've unsuccessfully tried to give me heart failure, what is it?"
Gabriel smirks at her, deciding against asking if her wings are still sore when the answer is going to be the same as always - no, they're fine, thanks for asking - and says "You're late, the exercise is starting."
Calli curses at once, grabbing his wrist…and then, Gabriel gets the single most nauseating experience of his entire life, getting forced through a very small tube - it's over almost instantly, but the instant his feet hit the ground again Gabriel crumples to his hands and knees while trying not to vomit.
Several people come running over as Gabriel's shoulders shudder, and Raphael asks "What happened?!"
Calli swallows a few times, shamelessly going to sit on the arm of the nearest chair, and eventually mutters "Welcome to Apparition, the shittiest mode of instantaneous transport I know."
Raphael kneels down next to Gabriel, putting one glowing hand between his shoulders, and asks "Isn't that how you appeared in front of Charlie and Vaggie? Because you looked like you were about to throw up then, to."
At Calli's nod, Michael asks "Why would you use that, then, if it's so terrible?"
Angel calls over "Yeah, there's no if about it - that is absolutely the worst mode of transport I know of."
Calli says "Because it's the only mode of instant transport I know. They all said it would get better over time, I'd get used to it the more I Apparated…they all fucking lied." Running a hand through her hair once she's gotten her stomach fully under control once more, Calli asks "So, what's the exercise today?"
Cherri calls over "You're going to hate it, fair warning!" At Calli's questioning look, she and Molly hold up their handcuffed wrists.
It takes Calli exactly one heartbeat to realize the exercise. "Oh," she says, "here no, Charlie." Her favorite niece cannot think this is a good idea, cuffing her to someone she doesn't actually trust for an unknown amount of time.
Charlie pouts at Calli, saying "C'mon, Aunt Calli! It won't be that…" She trails off at Calli's raised eyebrow, then murmurs "Alright, it might be that bad."
Calli closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose, asking "How long is this exercise going to last?"
Vaggie steps forward, saying "Until eight tonight. We'll meet back up here to let everyone head their separate ways for bed."
Calli opens one eye to stare at Vaggie, asking "And it's just the one day?"
Charlie immediately beams, cluing everyone in to the detail that Calli won't refuse. Calli groans at her look, then says "Handcuff our ankles, else cooking is going to be messy tonight."
Charlie nods, saying "Michael, you two were paired up!"
Michael immediately opens his mouth to protest - Calli might not want to outright kill him anymore, but that doesn't mean she'll be alright with spending hours basically glued to his side! - but Calli gets a call. Checking the Caller ID, she quickly answers it, saying "What's up, Bee? You got them? Great, I'll be right over…" Glancing at Charlie's expression, she groans then adds "And I'll be bringing a guest, of sorts. Not a Sinner, so no troubles there, but don't freak out on me. I'll explain the situation when we get there, alright?"
Now Charlie's squeals in absolute delight, bouncing over and hugging Calli from the side, and excitedly says "Hi, Aunt Bee!"
Calli promptly puts Beelzebub on Speaker, and a bubbly voice rings out, "Hey, kiddo! Been AGES since I last saw you! How's everything going?"
Calli drily says "Well, she just handcuffed me to someone else at the ankles, so it's going pretty well for her. Meet you at Modeus' in ten?"
"See you there! Have you met Fizz? Ooh, he's just adorable!"
Calli shakes her head as Bee hangs up the call, and says "C'mon, Michael, we're off to Lust Ring - we'll be back in time for dinner, everyone!" Calli leaves, practically dragging Michael along the way, but just catches Vaggie getting cuffed to Raphael as she shuts the door.
Blitz, Stolas, Octavia, Loona, Moxxie, Mollie, Fizz, Asmodeus, and Beelzebub all hear the instant a motorcycle engine starts purring outside Asmodeus' home, and Calli's voice says "We're here, guys! Nobody trip out because I've got the last person you'd ever expect, alright?"
Everyone gets exactly why she said that when the door opens, and…an Angel roughly the size of Asmodeus is towering over Calli's back. Blitz pushes Fizz towards Stolas and Asmodeus, quickly getting a handgun out, and Bee exclaims "Holy shit!"
Calli nods, saying "Wasn't my idea, guys. Don't worry, I made sure he left the giant flaming sword back at the Hotel."
Asmodeus swallows, glancing between Michael and Calli, and eventually asks "You related to Luce, by any chance?" The resemblance is undeniable...minus the height difference, anyway - same cheek dots, they have the same shape of their eyes and jaw...this guy looks like Lucifer if he was bottle-fed Steroids mixed with protein shakes as a baby.
Michael nods, saying "He's my youngest brother, as it happens."
Now the silence in the room is tense as a bowstring, and Bee nervously asks "You good, Calli?" All the Sins know enough about Hell's Royal Family to know it was a family of three until Charlie was born...and Lucifer is a Fallen Archangel, so it wasn't too hard to put the pieces together.
Calli waves a hand, saying "Been worse. Should've seen me when they first showed up, Bee. Anyway, introductions! Everyone, this is Michael, Archangel of Justice and Heaven's Greatest Warrior…who I faceplanted in under a second three days ago when Vaggie got the idea for self-defense lessons for everyone."
There's a round of snickering, and Michael notices the gun in Blitz's hand get put away. Which, good, because he really doesn't want to try to explain to his younger brother why a likely-Interrealm incident occured when he was left mostly alone for five minutes.
"Michael, this is Beezlebub, the Sin of Gluttony; Asmodeus, the Sin of Lust; Prince Stolas Goetia of the Ars Goetia Family, his daughter, Octavia, Fizz, formerly known as Fizzarolli, Blitz, Moxxie, Millie, and Loona. Now, where's the Dance Dance Revolution machines?"
Bee points to the far wall, and Michael sees two of the two-player dancing games sitting there. Loona asks "So…why's an Archangel down here, and why is everyone else so tense about it?"
Calli doesn't miss a beat as she says "He and a few others are staying at Charlie's Hotel for a bit because Heaven finally decided to play ball with us when it comes to actual diplomatic relations. He's down here with us because Charlie decided to cuff us together as a trust exercise." Most of Hell is, by and large, unaware of Heaven's exact 'relations' with Hell, and Extermination Day - they always managed to assure everyone they'd handle anything to do with Heaven, and thankfully they all accepted it. Satan would go off on a warpath if he ever learned that Heaven annually invaded Hell for millennia, and since Wrath Ring is right below Pride, it wouldn't take much for him to get to Heaven's forces on Extermination Day.
Keeping the rest of Hell in the dark about Heaven's power-complex was the best course of action, at the time. Or, at least, they didn't see any other options they had that wouldn't lead to all-out war. They all swore to protect Hell and its residents when Lucifer and Lilith 'officially' became the King and Queen of Hell, after all - maybe they haven't always gotten it right, but there haven't always been any 'right' decisions.
Stolas coughs into his fist, letting out a series of awkward chirping noises before saying "Yes! Well, anyway, I was wondering if you needed any assistance with Warding the machines?"
Calli pauses mid-shake, then says "If you could take the covers off, actually, that'd be fantastic. How's your memory? I'll need to carve Runes into each individual piece so nothing can get interfered with, so it would be helpful to have another set of magically-inclined eyes…or two, as it were."
Stolas lets out a chirpy, bird-like laugh of amusement, and says "I'd be honored. Truth be told, I was hoping to ask you something before you leave."
"I can work and talk, Stolas. What's up?"
Michael finds himself sitting on the floor as Calli and Stolas dismantle the first machine, trying to stay out of the way of floating pieces and wires that Calli painstakingly carves tiny symbols into - it's going to be a long visit.
"So, Calli, I was wondering…you know Via is almost eighteen, and she's starting to come into her powers now. I've been teaching her, but I was hoping you could offer some advice? It's just…well, I was never allowed to just be, you see, and I'm not quite sure how to…"
Calli glances at Stolas, and says "Let me guess…puberty."
Stolas nods, coughing into his fist as he does. "Well, yes, that pretty much covers everything…aside from the detail that I'm not sure just all of Via's powers, anyway. Stella doesn't have any special abilities of her own, you see, while nearly all my life was spent discovering and honing mine…" He tries to connect with Via, he really does…half the time, he ends up screwing it up, though.
Luckily, Via seems to understand after the incident with Stella and Striker - he's not perfect, but he's a lot better than his father to.
Calli hums, then says "You're looking for a magic woman's touch."
Stolas huffs, and says "Literally. Loona and Via have gotten close, Loona's taught Via a few things - like manifesting a human disguise, thankfully - but I'd feel better if you went over a few things with her. Just in case." Loona's only a few years older than Octavia herself, after all, and Octavia's already shown she's far more powerful than Loona in terms of magic.
"Yeah," Calli says easily, "sure, no problem. Is it just magic-stuff you want me to show her, or self-defense as well? I wouldn't put it past Stella to try something to get Octavia if she's still got her sights on the two of you, after all. Maybe get her brother to do it for her to get around it." That's the thing about determined people - even if what they're doing is wrong
"That would be appreciated, Via's shown an aptitude for portal creation, so I was going to teach her that after her eighteenth birthday, as that's when my own powers suddenly fully bloomed. But, if she's in a situation such as with Striker…"
Loona and Octavia glance over at Stolas, and Loona asks "You think we need to lock our dads in a closet again? Think they need to talk something else out?" Because he's taking an awful long time with Calliope.
Octavia huffs, saying "Least that worked, nothing else I tried did. As for what he's talking with Calli about right now…it's probably my powers. I'm coming into new ones, but he's expecting me to suddenly start doing a bunch of crazy shit starting my eighteenth since that's what happened to him."
Loona frowns, stubbing her cigarette out in the ashtray next to her, and asks "Thought he was doing magic since he was a kid?"
Octavia shrugs, saying "Yeah, but…he started doing more things the older he got, that's why he wrote it all down. Like, I guess he didn't start using a human disguise until he was sixteen, and the Petrifying Gaze deal he has didn't start until he hit puberty…and then, like, half of what he can do today, he couldn't do until he turned eighteen. So…he's worrying something similar is going to happen with me."
"And, he doesn't know what you could end up with?"
Octavia shakes her head, saying "All of Grandfather's direct children have different abilities, I guess. Dad's one of the most powerful, yeah, but there's no guarantee that I'm going to be as powerful. Or that I'll be able to do the same kinds of stuff he can. Like, he can't make flames in his hands, for instance. And I haven't petrified anyone with just a look."
Loona shrugs, saying "Well, here's an idea. What if he wrote a second book, gave you the first to use? You used it just fine, after all."
Octavia nods, resolving to ask her dad about it later - there's also the detail that he had her promise him she wouldn't go anywhere without either him, Loona, Blitz, or his two bodyguards - she thought he was just being overprotective in the aftermath of the divorce, but if he thought Stella would try to get to her before she came into her powers…yeah, that makes more sense.
Fizz bounces over, prosthetic limbs taking him across the room in a few gigantic steps, and he says "Hey, ladies! Ozzie's making some snacks for everyone! Any requests?"
"No thanks."
"I'm good, actually."
Fizz sits down on the arm of the couch they're on, and asks "Anyone else super excited for the party? Ozzie's got it marked on his calendar in bright red ink, and I can't wait!"
Loona grins, saying "It'll be good to see Princess Blondie again."
"So," Fizz says, trying and utterly failing to sound casual, "any idea if her dad'll be there? Ozzie says he's basically a horned teddy bear most of the time, but…" But then there's the stories he has of Calli basically forcing them to accept Lucifer as their new King, beating Satan, Mammon, and anyone else who tried to challenge her to a paste - she apparently tried to not be completely violent about it…but the Sin of Wrath wouldn't listen to anything but violence.
And then there's Blitz's recounting of his time with her in Greed, destroying RoboFizz factories and how she singlehandedly beat Mammon to a paste again.
Call him crazy, but he's just a little nervous to meet Ozzie's family - because, yes, apparently all the Sins, including Lucifer himself, consider each other one big, fucked-up kind of family after ten millennia of running Hell together. Even Mammon, regardless of the fact that he needs to get taken down a peg every few centuries.
Loona just shrugs, saying "You'd have to ask Calli, honestly. We haven't been back up there in months."
"Hey, Fizz," Calli calls over, face turned slightly so it's clear she's looking his direction, "you want a new set of horns? Call it a wedding gift! If not, forget I said anything."
Fizz's expression goes completely blank for a moment, and then he's running over to Calli while asking "You can just regrow Imp Horns?!" After a moment, he asks "Also, you knew about my horns being gone?!"
Calli shrugs, putting her shrunken staff she was using as a tool to Ward everything down, and says "Fizz, how many Imps do you think I've seen by now? Yes, I could tell that there weren't any horns under that hat of yours. I was going to wait until you said something…but, as it happens, word is you two will be tying the knot soon."
Fizz promptly blushes so hard his face is nearly red once more.
Calli shrugs, and adds "So, I figured it could be a good wedding gift for you. I'm still trying to think of something for 'Modeus that won't be super weird coming from me. Honeymoon spot, maybe?"
Fizz nods after a moment, and Calli says "Great! Do you have a picture of how your horns used to look? Also, do you want to regrow them, or would you like me to make a prosthetic and I'd just glue it on and then paint it? Your choice."
"A prosth…you mean, like a filling for a tooth, sorta deal?"
"That's a good analogy, yeah. I could do either way, so it's up to you. But, regrowing the horns could hurt depending on how much is actually left."
When Ozzie, Blitz, Moxxie, Millie, and Bee come back out from the kitchen, each carrying multiple plates of snacks, they see Fizz wrapped around Calli and sobbing his eyes out while she pats him on the back. Michael and Stolas, meanwhile, look highly uncomfortable like they don't usually deal with crying most of the time.
At Asmodeus' questioning look, Loona flatly says "She offered to give Fizz his horns back. He started crying."
"Oh, I see… Hey, Babe, c'mere…"
Michael leans back on his hands, staring as Asmodeus cradles a still-sobbing Fizz to the crook of his neck, and slowly asks "Do you accidentally make people cry like that…a lot?"
Calli offhandedly says "Oh yeah, big time. Should've seen the time I first called Vaggie an Angel - hadn't known she hadn't told Charlie, so I outed her by accident. Then, I offered to regrow her eye for her - Charlie takes after Luci in that regard."
Michael nods, remembering how Lucifer could cry at anything he found adorable or wonderful, especially ducks - he wouldn't be surprised if his youngest brother cried when Lilith accepted his proposal, when they got married, and when Charlie was born.
To Michael's utter surprise, when they get back…dinner's long-finished, it's almost ten at night, and Lucifer, Charlie, Gabriel, and Raphael are all looking like they genuinely thought he was dead and Calli was getting rid of the evidence.
Calli blinks, then asks "What?"
Charlie bounces over to them, saying "You were gone forever, Aunt Calli!!"
Calli rubs the back of her head, saying "Yeah…it took longer than I anticipated…" Turns out, Dance Dance Revolution has way more parts than she expected. Thousands of tiny parts, all of which had to be meticulously Warded so nothing was affected by her magic…for two of the machines.
Gods, does she hope Charlie never asks for any kind of arcade to be installed in the Hotel, it'd take her a month to Ward it all, most likely.