When my two years in China were up, I then moved to Japan for about 3 months.
Here is what I learned.
1. Shut up on the train.
2. Don't get attached to Konbini promotions
3. No matter what you do, people are gonna stare.
4. Food is love, Food is life.
5. Family above all, minus work.
Lets dive in.
1. Shut up on the train.
The trains in Japan are known for their silence. Keep it that way. Its nice to go from the loud, bustling city to the silence of the trains. Keep to yourself, keep your music on low and DON'T treat these trains like the NYC subway. I've seen that so many times. I frequently rode on the female-only car, simply because, well, I am a woman, and its usually the most silent place on the train. Women minding their own business. Retouching makeup. Answering emails. Chittering quietly among themselves. Young women, elderly women, business women. It felt like the safest place in the world, until I miss my stop and have to walk 20 minutes extra because I missed my stop because I was admiring the women.
2. Don't get attached to Konbini promotions
Konbini's!!!!!!! Oh, my beloved. I miss you so much.
If you don't know what a Konbini is, it is a 24/7 convenience store. They usually have the best promotions. Lesson learned: Those promotions are usually short lived and NEVER come back. I am still upset over the time they discontinued this sakura mochi (Demon Slayer collab, if you know, you know.) and it was DELICOUS. You cannot convince me that it wasn't. It was melty and sweet and a little bitter. MMM. I used to frequent this FamilyMart and 7/11 near my apartment at the time. Frequented so much that the workers started to recognize me (mildly embarassing). Used to get the premade dinners, a yogurt drink, ramune and some sort of sweet treat. You know, I lost a solid 10lbs the time i was living in Japan, simply because the food standards are so much better.
3. No matter what you do, people are gonna stare.
I'd like to preface this by stating for the record that I am a Wasian female in her 20's, (Japanese/ American.). I used to have really blonde hair before i started dying it black. I had a terrible haircut for my face shape. Oh well. Anyway. People would stare and honesty you start to learn to block it out. Keep your head down, do your work, move on with your day. In Japan, there is this saying '(出る釘は打たれる" (The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.) . it reflects a cultural emphasis on conformity, group harmony (wa), and the pressure to avoid standing out or deviating from social norms. Being foreign in a different country immediately makes you that nail, and that's really ok.
4. Food is love, Food is life.
I mentioned this earlier in the China post. But it is universal- food is love and connection. It has always been that way. I met so many good friends over food, restaurants. You learn quickly. I learned to bring fruits, food when I visit friends. I learned who loved what, when what fruits are in season, when its appropriate to give them. I learned who had allergies, how to cook sick food for people, just like others have done for me. I loved seeing the smiles on peoples faces when community is shown and given freely. My love for people is shown through cooking and baking. I love showing people the care that they've shown me. I wish more people would see this way. That sharing, food could be life changing for people.
5. Family above all, minus work.
Family is everything. You learn that quick when you look at Japanese infrastructure. They have great programs for women, children and familes. But above all of that? WORK.
You may have seen online Japanese salarymen. I won't lie to you, and say that it doesn't exist, but it does. I've seen drunk salarymen fall asleep on the sidewalk because they missed the last train of the night. I've drank next to men twice, thrice my age, who talk loudly of their work and families. I've seen widowed women who go through trhe daily motions of life, who could be set for life due to the death benefits. I've seen children be so much more independent than here in the US. Teenagers who have more responsibility than adults I've met across the world. I'm not blind to the horrors that Japan has, The crushing work to life balance. The stigma around mental health. The politics. I'm not blind to it, if you think I am, you are sorely mistaken.
I do not, and will not see Japan in the rose colored glasses that the world seems to have. I've seen the good and the bad of Japan and I am not afraid to admit it. I'm not upset to admit the fact that I've seen it. There is good people, bad people and morally gray. I've had my fair share of bad experiences (panty theft, harassment) but ive had many more good. Japan isn;t a perfect country and that's ok.
I hope to go back
-Xeron.