"Chiya, look what I've got!"
Early that morning, Akikawa Yayoi came over with a bright smile and handed Fujiwara Chiya a uniform.
"Hm? What's up, Nee-san? Isn't this a Tracen uniform?" Chiya held it up and blinked. "It's huge. Is this kid a model or something? She's almost as tall as me."
"Heh-heh…"
Yayoi flicked open her fan with a smug little flourish.
"Guess whose uniform it is."
"How am I supposed to guess that… Wait. No way."
"Yes way!" Yayoi raised her fan high. "It's your uniform, Chiya!"
"NANI?!"
…
"And that's the situation!"
Yayoi planted her hands on her hips, looking terribly pleased with herself.
"I'm planning to have Chiya transfer into Tracen Academy as an uma musume. That way, he can participate in races normally! Central won't be able to deliberately block him from the starting line anymore. What do you girls think?"
"I think it's a terrible idea!" Fujiwara Chiya raised his hand.
"Objection rejected. Everyone else?"
Yayoi looked toward Agnes Tachyon and the others.
"Oho. Now this is fascinating." Agnes Tachyon's eyes gleamed behind her glasses. "If guinea pig-kun can race, I'm certain he'll provide some rather excellent experimental data."
"The Tyrant of Turf. The Emperor of the Racetrack." Orfevre rapped her knuckles against the table. "Not a bad title. It is decided, Trainer shall become an emperor. From now on, he and I shall stand side by side as the male and female calamities!"
"I don't really mind." Seiun Sky lay sprawled across the table, speaking in her usual lazy drawl. "Watching Trainer's races from home sounds pretty fun."
"I saw Trainer race back in Paris!" Treve sat beside Fujiwara Chiya, happily kneading his hand as she spoke. "He was unbelievably amazing! Back then, I kept thinking it'd be such a waste if Trainer never raced properly!"
"As for me…" Grass Wonder smiled softly. "I would rather respect my dear husband's own wishes."
"We're all uma musume, and we've all raced before! It's way too unfair if Trainer's the only one who hasn't!" Gold Ship shouted. "Since we're family, we share happiness and hardship together! Trainer has to race too!"
"Rice… wants to see Onii-sama race too!"
"Everybody hold it right there! Who said I've never raced? I've raced plenty of times, okay?!"
Fujiwara Chiya lifted Shirayuki up like she was Exhibit A in a courtroom.
"Look! All of you, look! Who says I've never raced?!"
"Trainer, are you seriously hiding behind a woman at a time like this?" Gold Ship said with zero mercy.
"I &%?＃%!"
Fujiwara Chiya got hit so hard by that line his brain short-circuited.
"Anyway, I've already asked Tazuna to handle your paperwork." Yayoi waved her fan. "You'll start attending Tracen tomorrow, Chiya."
"Nee-san, are you messing with me?!"
He was a working adult who had graduated from university almost five years ago. He had clawed his way up to senior trainer, gotten married, started a family, and now his own Director sister wanted him to enroll in an academy full of uma musume as a student.
What kind of joke was this?!
Wait.
Hold on.
This plot felt weirdly familiar.
Wasn't this basically Shirayuki's first arrival arc?!
Fujiwara Chiya suddenly had the horrible feeling that Shirayuki's story was about to replay itself on his male body.
"This is all for your sake, my dear little brother."
"For my sake? What part of this is for my sake? Don't tell me you mean cross-dressing!"
"But don't you wear women's clothes every day?" Yayoi pointed at Shirayuki.
"That's not the same…"
Fujiwara Chiya had definitely gotten used to women's clothing by now, but Shirayuki wearing women's clothes and him wearing women's clothes were two very different things.
After all, he had something Shirayuki did not.
And Shirayuki had something he did not.
That's right.
Ears and a tail.
The moment that thought crossed his mind, Fujiwara Chiya watched Yayoi pull out a pair of disguise ears and a tail.
"I had these custom-made by a manufacturer. They look exactly like the real thing."
"Let me touch them… Oho. They really do feel real." Orfevre gave them a testing squeeze. "Put these on Trainer, and no one will see through the disguise."
"I wanna try!"
Gold Ship moved the instant she finished speaking, clipping the uma musume ear accessory onto Fujiwara Chiya's head before the man could even react.
His wives stared at his face.
One by one, their expressions turned dangerously interested.
"I just realized…"
"My dear husband with ears…"
"Looks exactly like Onee-sama!"
"He's basically a short-haired Empress, Trainer!" Treve excitedly pulled out a mirror.
Fujiwara Chiya stared at his own reflection.
With the ears added, his face really did resemble Shirayuki's. Nine-tenths, maybe even ten-tenths.
When he and Shirayuki went out together, people often said they had "married-couple faces." But now, Fujiwara Chiya realized the truth.
He looked like someone had taken Shirayuki, cut her hair short, and changed her hair color to black.
"No, no, no! I am a proper, honest-to-goodness man! I refuse to admit I look like a girl! I have my pride as a man!"
"Trainer, didn't your pride as a man shatter the moment Shirayuki put on women's clothes?" Gold Ship tilted her head. "In a way, that's basically the same as you wearing them yourself."
"Shut up!"
Fujiwara Chiya cut off Gold Ship's follow-up before she could finish him off.
"My goal is to become a proper husband. If you make me pretend to be an uma musume and race, then I've already lost the right to call myself a husband. I'd be a failed husband. Complete husband disqualification. I absolutely refuse."
He shook his head with iron resolve.
"You really don't want to?" Yayoi asked.
"I don't."
"No room for discussion?"
"None."
"Chiya."
Yayoi came to his side.
"Your sister has never really asked you to do anything before. I've always believed you can do anything well. You're an excellent child, and I want more people to recognize how excellent you are."
She took Fujiwara Chiya's hand.
"If Shirayuki can inspire so many future uma musume through racing, then you can absolutely do the same. Otherwise, wouldn't you be wasting that incredible body of yours?"
"Exactly, Trainer." Gold Ship nodded solemnly, then hit him with a brutal truth bomb. "With stamina that ridiculous, don't spend all of it fooling around in bed forever. Put it toward the proper path once in a while."
"W-Who's fooling around forever…? I train with uma musume all the time too, okay?"
"Oh, really? Then from now on, let Shirayuki sleep in our room while Trainer sleeps alone."
"That's not happening."
The room fell silent.
Every wife stared at him with the same deadpan expression.
Fujiwara Chiya coughed a few times.
"Nee-san, our family is already full of uma musume who'll go down in history. You really don't need to push me onto the track too, do you?"
"Of course I do!" Yayoi puffed out her chest. "I want the whole world to recognize my little brother's excellence. Not just as an outstanding trainer, but as an outstanding racer too. I'm not asking for much. Just win a GI."
"Why don't you just say, 'Let's start with a small goal and win the Prix de l'Arc de Triomphe' while you're at it?!"
"That works too!" Treve sat in the man's lap together with Shirayuki. "I think that wouldn't be hard for Trainer at all. There are already two Arc winners here."
"…"
"Then it's decided!" Gold Ship summed everything up entirely on her own. "Trainer's gonna win a GI. Then our whole family will be GI winners!"
""Agreed!""
"Hey, you girls!"
The next day.
In the student council room, Symboli Rudolf stared at the tall uma musume standing in front of her.
The girl looked far too much like Shirayuki.
After a long moment, Rudolf asked with great uncertainty, "Trainer Chiya? Is that you?"
"President," Chiya said hollowly, "please just kill me."