Julee fixed his spectacles and cleared his throat.
"If you could chew properly, man," he said, annoyed. "No wonder you're still a virgin, you eat like a pig."
"Ha! Look who's talking. Mr. twenty-seconds. How'd you even fumble that one?" Andrew replied, his soft, almost feminine voice an absurd contrast to his fatty body.
"Hahaha. Bro, you finished before you even started! Still in the V-card holder group."
Gritting his teeth, Julee glanced at Martin. Unlike the other two, Martin actually looked decent. He mingled with girls, but—surprise!—always dodged the deed. All talk, no bite.
"What! No I'm not! She gave me head—that counts!" Julee knew it didn't, only Andrew said it out loud.
"Head barely counts. Until you put lil' Julee in an actual cave, you're just like the rest of us." Andrew slurped another spoonful of cereal. Somehow, he could eat it at any time of day.
Though he was told to stop many times, Andrew always ignored it. His boss was his stomach. "Fine. If mouth counts, hand counts too. Lost my V-card ages ago. Slurrrp. And this is my girl."
He raised his hand for the others to see. Andrew kissed and licked it.
"Every day?" Martin's face screamed disappointment.
"Yesterday too," Andrew said proudly. "And today."
Martin shook his head, disbelief written all over his face. "Wait… today too? How… when?"
Andrew leaned back in his chair, smirking like he'd just won the lottery. "Ah, it was quick. You guys weren't paying attention. Timing's everything, my dudes."
Julee and Martin exchanged incredulous glances. They'd spent the entire day together—eating, gaming, complaining about life—and somehow Andrew had found a spare five minutes to… do whatever it was he did. The thought alone made Julee's stomach churn in equal parts disgust and admiration.
"I… I don't even want to know," Martin muttered, shaking his head again, retreating mentally to a safer dimension.
Andrew, of course, didn't leave it there. He was already shifting gears like a man possessed. "Anyway," he said, spinning his chair lazily, "did you guys see the new update for SSS-RANKER: Fight for Humanity?"
Julee raised an eyebrow, adjusting his glasses with a dramatic sigh. "Uugh, this ridiculous game."
"Ridiculous? Please. This is the pinnacle of online strategy and chaos simulation. Rankers battling in dungeons, real-time stats, story mode for newly awakened—this is gold!" Andrew's eyes glittered, the kind of gleam only someone completely obsessed with digital destruction could achieve.
"Oh boy," Julee muttered, "another ten-gigabyte download just to ruin my day. And don't get me started on Chemhem's skins. Perfectly fine before, now she's all covered up like she's some boring librarian. Why fix what wasn't broken?"
Andrew laughed so hard he nearly tipped over his chair. "Gooner! You're acting like a grumpy old man complaining about pixel clothing. It's just skins, bro!"
Martin, quiet until now, admitted softly, "I left it on download overnight. Didn't even touch it yet, but the trailer was peak, and so were Res's skins."
Both Julee and Andrew groaned in unison, the sound a mix of frustration and exasperation. Martin, head over heels for Resly, was the one lucky enough to appreciate the new skins without judgment. "Her new designs are… good," Martin admitted, cheeks heating just slightly. Julee rolled his eyes so hard it practically hurt.
Andrew clapped him on the shoulder, grinning. "See? That's the spirit. You shouldbe more appreciative like Martin, you need more excitement in your life Julee. "
Julee muttered under his breath, "Excitement? Try surviving the apocalypse without dying while Andrew brags about his… activities. That's excitement."
"True," Martin agreed, though he kept his focus on the game update. He was still smiling like a fool, clearly planning strategies and daydreaming about Resly's new skins.
Julee sighed, straightening his glasses again, and finally stood. "I think I'll pay a visit to the bath," he said, dragging the words out like it was some epic quest. He didn't feel the need to rush—the steam, the warmth, and the brief escape from Andrew's nonstop bragging called to him like a siren.
Andrew waved lazily, smirking. "Don't get lost in there, Julee. The gods—or at least your bathwater—might judge your performance."
"Pft, gods my ass. My performance? What do they know?" Julee muttered.
After few minutes.
Julee sighed, perched on the toilet seat like some tragic hero. He stared at the floor, staring deep into the patterns of the tiles.
Awakened.
That word danced just out of reach.
He should've been awakened. At least, that's what the calendar said. He and Andrew had just turned nineteen—too late. Everyone "lucky enough" had their awakening sometime during their eighteenth year.
Miss it, and your chance? Poof. Zero. Gone. Vanished like a bad dream.
Martin was only days away from the dreaded milestone. That explained his twitchy, tense behavior lately.
The promise they had made—to never mention awakening until the trio knew their fates—loomed like some unwritten curse. They all knew the stakes: if one awakened, they'd be responsible for the others, whether they liked it or not. Julee smirked at the absurdity of it. "What a stupid promise," he muttered, shaking his head.
Rolling a piece of toilet paper with exaggerated flair, he let his mind wander.
And then… something blinked in his vision. A flicker, like neon light in a dark alley, screaming in impossible fonts:
『ATTENTION』
Julee blinked. The tiles didn't have lights. The ceiling didn't have screens. Nothing in this boring, cramped bathroom should be glowing. Yet there it was.
『SYSTEM ALERT: USER STATUS – POTENTIAL AWAKENING DETECTED』
His breath hitched.
"…What?"
The text didn't care. It continued.
『58 SECONDS LEFT TO LIVE』
Julee froze.
"…Ah."
Another line slammed into existence.
『PILOT MISSION: Keep two or more gods engaged for thirty minutes to activate system. Once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.』
『Refusal is unacceptable. Non-compliance will result in death. Entertain your audience.』
Silence.
Julee stared.
Then… he smirked.
In a world where people got flattened daily by stray dungeon beasts, where Rankers crushed buildings like soda cans… this?
This wasn't even top ten weirdest things he'd heard this month.
Still…
"…Gods?"
His brows knit together. Rankers had systems, sure. Stats, skills, numbers.
But this?
Live? Audience? Gods?
His brain flipped through memories like a cheap slideshow.
Webnovels.
Streams.
Idiots getting chosen by higher beings for "entertainment."
His eyes widened.
"No way…"
A beat.
"…No way."
Was this a second chance?
He'd missed awakening. That door slammed shut. Everyone knew that.
But this?
This felt like someone kicking the door back open… then setting the house on fire.
He was so busy spiraling that he forgot one small detail.
The timer.
『3… 2… 1…』
『0』
The world didn't explode.
Instead—
Pop.
Pop.
Pop.
Pop.
Four small, floating spheres appeared around him, hovering at each cardinal point. South, East, North and Weat. Smooth. Glossy. Watching.
Cameras.
Julee shot to his feet so fast he nearly slipped.
"…You've got to be kidding me."
Silence.
A long, awkward silence.
Then—
A purple line of text appeared in the corner of his vision.
「flameygod101: I hope this is a good username.」
Another followed immediately.
「WindyForest: Do not fret. It is not as if anyone important will see it.」
Julee's eye twitched.
Slowly, he looked to the side.
『Current Viewers: 3』
"…Three?"
More text popped in.
「Thindergod: Oh? Where is this?」
「flameygod101: you misspelled your name」
「Thindergod: Ah. I will fix that immediately.」
The number flickered.
『Current Viewers: 4』
Julee swallowed.
This was real.
This was actually happening.
Then—
A new message dropped. Cold. Sharp. Female.
「Goddess: I arrive and I am met with the sight of a man in his bathroom? I knew this endeavor would be a waste of time. I am leaving.」
The number dropped instantly.
『Current Viewers: 3』
Then—
The system screamed.
『YOU LOST A VIEWER!!』
『PENALTY: DEATH』
『REMAINING AUDIENCE: 3』
『Time Elapsed: 00:00:10 / 30:00:00』
『RETAIN YOUR AUDIENCE』
Julee's heart slammed against his ribs.
Confusion evaporated.
This wasn't a joke.
This wasn't a dream.
This was survival.
Lose them—die.
Simple. Brutal.
"…Right," he whispered. He dragged a hand down his face, forced his spine straight, and looked directly at one of the floating spheres. He gulped. In all his years, this is not how he imagined his potential death.
"Uh…"
A pause.
A breath.
"…Welcome, ladies and gentlemen…"
His voice was shaky.
"We are live."