Just as Tony was about to keep talking, Thor finished the eight burgers that had just been brought to the table and lifted his head to look at the other two, despair written plainly across his face.
"Tin man... you may mock me now if you wish, because at this moment I truly am nothing more than a useless mortal. I have lost my father's trust. My divine power has been sealed away. Loki just told me that my father, enraged by my recklessness, has returned to the halls of the honored dead... and that there is no place left for me in Asgard."
Hearing that, Tony lost interest in taking another shot at him.
His mouth could be sharp, but kicking a man while he was mourning his father was not his style. Especially not when Tony knew what it meant to lose both parents.
"That horned reindeer was lying to you," Clark said, picking up a handful of fries and dumping them into his mouth. "Straight-up nonsense, buddy."
"What?!" Thor stared at Clark in disbelief, then slammed both hands on the table as he stood. "How do you know of Loki?"
"I not only know he exists, I made eye contact with him in the interrogation room," Clark said, leaning back casually. "I could see his magical projection. Other people probably couldn't, but to me it was about as subtle as wrapping yourself in clear plastic."
Clark looked at the suddenly alert Thor.
"Listen, Thor. Your father Odin is not dead. He's asleep. Do you really not know your brother's habits by now? He's taking advantage of your exile to steal the throne of Asgard. He lied to you so you'd lose all will to fight and stay trapped on Earth as a broken nobody."
"Yes... Loki lied to me again..."
Thor's face tightened as understanding hit him.
He may have had the temperament of a hammer with muscles attached, but he wasn't stupid. The second he thought back over Loki's long and ridiculous history of "harmless tricks," including things like turning into a snake and trying to stab him as a child, the fog in his mind cleared instantly.
"That bastard! He used Father's life to deceive me!"
Thor struck the table again, and this time the whole thing split clean in half.
The fury in his eyes was immediate and blazing. It was the anger of a man betrayed by his own brother.
Tony and Clark both looked at him, their mouths twitching slightly.
This alien god really was simple in the most direct possible way. Love and hate came fast, and his emotions turned on a dime.
As for whether Clark might be the one lying, Thor didn't even consider it.
He had already seen enough to know that Clark didn't need to deceive him. Even when Thor still had his power, he wasn't sure he could have beaten this man. He had felt the sheer scale of that strength.
"Then I can't stay here any longer! I have to find a way back! I have to expose Loki's plot!"
"Whoa, take it easy there, blond lion king," Tony said, rolling his eyes and immediately pouring cold water on the idea. "How exactly are you getting back? Running into the upper atmosphere and yelling 'open sesame'? You can't even lift your hammer right now."
Thor was just opening his mouth to snap back when something changed outside town.
The clouds that had gathered overhead were suddenly ripped apart by a brilliant force.
Lights in the area began to flicker.
"Sir," JARVIS said in Tony's ear, "I am detecting an extremely high-intensity spatial anomaly at the edge of town. Unknown energy source."
A rainbow-colored beam dropped from space and struck just beyond town limits.
The Bifrost.
"Holy hell! More aliens?" Tony's helmet snapped shut as the faceplate sealed into place. "Is there something on Earth they all secretly want?!"
When the sand and dust settled, a giant armored figure more than ten feet tall stood in the crater.
It was made entirely of uru metal.
Its head was almost featureless save for the openings where its eyes should have been, openings from which it could unleash flames said to melt anything.
The Destroyer.
Odin had once forged it to stand against the Celestials, and now it was under Loki's control.
"It's... the Destroyer." Thor had already recognized it.
"Loki truly means to kill me. He sent Father's final weapon to Midgard... No one can stop it. Not even Clark."
Of course, S.H.I.E.L.D. had spotted it too.
Coulson and a squad of heavily armed agents were crouched behind a line of vehicles, using a bullhorn to attempt contact.
"Unknown mechanical life-form ahead! This is S.H.I.E.L.D.! You have illegally entered Earth's airspace. Identify yourself and cease advancing immediately, or we will respond with all necessary force!"
The Destroyer's reply was extremely simple.
A beam of energy erupted from its face.
"Take cover!!!" Coulson screamed.
The beam swept across the line.
The armored S.H.I.E.L.D. vehicles didn't even get the dignity of exploding. The instant the energy touched them, they were vaporized by the heat. The ground itself was carved open into a trench several yards deep.
"That thing could wipe out the planet," Tony muttered, and his chronic fear of insufficient firepower came roaring back to life. There was no way he was going to sit there while some giant alien metal freak tore up his country right in front of him.
Tony launched first.
"Tony! Don't!" Thor shouted as he charged after him, trying to stop him. "That is a divine weapon forged from uru! Your metal suit cannot withstand it!"
"My dictionary doesn't include 'cannot withstand'!"
Tony hovered directly in front of the Destroyer.
"Hey, metal man," he called out. "This is Earth airspace. No visa means illegal entry. Uncle Tony is about to send you right back to your home planet."
He didn't waste another word.
He pushed both palm cannons to maximum output. The shoulder missile pods flared open.
This was the strongest burst Mark III could deliver.
A dense storm of firepower slammed into the Destroyer from every angle, and smoke and flame swallowed the armor whole.
"You see that?" Tony said smugly, floating in the air with a grin. "That's what modern technology looks like. Magic relic, enchanted junk, whatever you are, once Stark Industries firepower starts talking, you're just scrap metal waiting to happen..."
Before Tony could finish admiring himself, he saw exactly what he did not want to see.
The Destroyer still stood there.
The armor, forged from uru and layered with Odin's enchantments, had taken the full force of Iron Man's entire barrage and...
Yes.
It was the same old story.
All smoke, no damage.
Not a scratch.
Not a chip.
Not even a fleck of paint missing.
"You've got to be kidding me."
The Destroyer gave him no time at all to think it through.
It locked onto Iron Man in the air.
Then, in the next instant, it swung one arm.
Tony didn't even have time to scream.
He went flying backward, smashing through the walls of two houses before slamming into the ruins of an auto shop.
"Tony!!" Thor shouted. He could not stand seeing others dragged into danger because of him.
"Loki! This is between you and me! These mortals have nothing to do with it!"
Thor strode out of the diner, fully prepared to meet the Destroyer's wrath with nothing but his own flesh and bone.
But Clark caught him by the shoulder and held him in place.
He had already saved Tony from taking the worst of it.
The Mark III sat intact among the wreckage, and from inside it Tony's voice drifted out in a wounded, deeply offended mutter:
"So I'm just here to get humiliated, is that it?"