Chapter 64: The Tapus Have a Meltdown!
With Lunala gone, the three of them had no reason to linger at the Altar of the Moone.
They didn't make it two steps before two Pokémon dropped down to block their path.
"Tapu Koko and Tapu Bulu… they don't look very friendly."
Lillie edged closer to Mammon as she said it. The two guardians had planted themselves squarely in the way, and their energy was anything but welcoming.
"Waited until Lunala left to come ask questions, huh?" Mammon smiled. Not surprised in the least.
"Ming?"
Tapu Koko fixed its gaze on Mammon and Caitlin. The sound it made was low, pointed, and not remotely pleasant.
"We caught Tapu Fini and Tapu Lele fair and square," Mammon said pleasantly. "Nothing underhanded."
"Ming…"
Tapu Koko's face scrunched up in a very humanlike expression of frustrated helplessness. If it was a legitimate capture, there wasn't much it could say about that. But Fini and Lele being gone meant Poni Island and Akala Island were effectively unmanned. That was the problem.
"Caitlin — let Tapu Lele out," Mammon said, seeing that Koko still wasn't ready to drop it.
Caitlin nodded and pressed the release on the Poké Ball.
The ball didn't open.
Caitlin: "…"
Tapu Lele did not want to come out.
"Lele, come on." Caitlin aimed her most diplomatically awkward smile at Tapu Koko and Tapu Bulu, then turned slightly and murmured at the ball. "Please."
"MING!!"
A black # sign visibly materialized above Tapu Koko's head. The sound that came out of it was barely-contained fury.
The Poké Ball clicked. White light flashed. Tapu Lele popped out in front of Caitlin, beamed at Tapu Koko and Tapu Bulu with the cheerful innocence of someone who has done absolutely nothing wrong, and waved.
"Ming?!"
Tapu Koko turned to Tapu Lele. The question was clear: Was this a real battle? Did she actually beat you? Or did something sketchy happen?
The three Tapus started talking among themselves.
Mammon stretched his arms over his head and yawned.
"What are they saying, Mammon?" Lillie asked, watching the little cluster of guardians with curious eyes.
"Probably worried about Tapu Lele and Tapu Fini," Mammon said. "They've been protecting Alola together for a long time. That kind of thing doesn't just disappear."
What he didn't say was that Tapu Lele had accepted the loss fair and square, so there was genuinely nothing to worry about. The real variable was Koko and Bulu — if they were smart about this, they'd let it go. Lillie was standing right here, and Mammon had no particular desire to look like someone who took things by force in front of her. He was willing to let the two of them walk away.
Besides, he hadn't had strong feelings about catching Koko and Bulu in the first place.
But if Tapu Koko decided to push the issue and demand he release Fini and Lele — that would be a different conversation entirely.
Though, it was starting to look like the Tapus were having a different kind of conversation altogether.
Mammon glanced over. Tapu Koko and Tapu Lele had moved from questioning into what was very clearly a full argument, while Tapu Bulu hovered between them attempting damage control that neither of them was acknowledging.
The Tapus had descended into a workplace dispute.
"What happened?! Why is it like this now?" Lillie looked baffled.
Caitlin was already quietly considering whether to release Metagross on standby.
"How do I put this," Mammon said, his expression a little odd.
The condensed version of Tapu Koko and Tapu Lele's conversation went roughly as follows:
"You left with a human — who's covering Akala Island?"
"I don't know, it's not like I chose this! Maybe you could cover Akala for me, and Bulu can take Poni?"
"…" — Tapu Bulu.
"That's YOUR island. Why is it my job?" Tapu Koko's rage had tipped into incredulous laughter.
"We've been friends for how many centuries? You can't watch it for a hundred years?"
"Are you JOKING. Should I just have your Trainer catch me so you can tend Melemele while I go off on vacation?"
"Look, I can't just break my word — I have some dignity! And let me be clear: if anyone tries to strong-arm my Trainer into releasing me, I will not be nice about it."
Tapu Lele sniffed, wearing the expression of someone who has already accepted every consequence and is entirely at peace.
"Point is, I'm off the clock for the next hundred years. Come at me if you want!"
"LELE, have you no SHAME?! You get to go travel and have fun and just DROP everything on us?!"
Tapu Koko's hands were shaking. The four of them had spent centuries on this — wind, rain, every season, not a single break between them. And now two coworkers had walked off the job for a century, leaving the remaining two to cover double the territory with no vacation in sight.
There was no justice in this world.
"Okay, okay, stop, stop fighting—" Tapu Bulu sighed and stepped between them, taking on the noble and thankless role of peacekeeper. It tugged at Tapu Koko and started pulling it away.
Honestly, it was worried. Koko's temper had been getting more erratic lately, and there was a real chance it would just actually start swinging. Better to leave now while things were still in the realm of words.
Coworker harmony was important.
"I just think it's UNFAIR! Why do they get a vacation and I don't?!"
Tapu Koko fumed as Bulu dragged it along.
"And what do Fini and Lele have that I don't?! Those two humans didn't try to catch me — is it just because Fini and Lele are prettier?! I'm STRONGER!"
"Yes, yes, absolutely, you're right, let's go home and sleep."
Tapu Bulu nodded along mechanically and kept walking.
The two of them disappeared into the night, and with them went the quiet understanding that from this point forward, they would each be guarding two islands.
Tapu Koko felt extremely done with everything.
"Diedie~"
The moment her former coworkers were out of sight, Tapu Lele swooped down and started circling Caitlin with visible delight, then wrapped both arms around her neck and nuzzled against her with a happy little trill.
Life was good.
"She's so cute." Lillie's eyes lit up completely. Tapu Lele was adorable! Tapu Koko must have been the unreasonable one — clearly Tapu Lele had just gotten fed up!
Yeah. Definitely.
"Leaving Koko and Bulu to cover things isn't the worst outcome, actually," Mammon mused.
He'd caught every word of the exchange, and honestly? This worked. Ultra Beasts appeared in Alola from time to time — having two guardians still actively on patrol wasn't nothing. If Ultra Beast incidents started tanking Alola's reputation, that was bad for tourism, bad for the region, and bad for Team Rocket's operations.
Two free security guards. He'd take it.