Date: I think this is where everything started… and went wrong
I didn't expect anything that day.
It was supposed to be normal.
Just another class, another moment of sitting quietly and minding my own business.
Then I noticed him.
William.
I didn't talk to him first.
He didn't even talk to me first either.
It was his friend—Ben.
(They call him Donzy.)
There were people around them.
Too many.
Laughing. Watching.
And somehow… I ended up in the middle of it.
Ben looked at me and said:
"William wants to be friends with you. Just give him a chance."
Just like that.
No warning. No privacy.
Everyone was looking at me.
Waiting.
I felt it.
That pressure.
That uncomfortable feeling of knowing if I said no… everyone would notice. Everyone would judge.
So I said yes.
Not because I wanted to.
But because I didn't know how to say no.
And maybe that was my first mistake.
Later that same day… something happened I still can't stop thinking about.
William tried to kiss me.
No build-up.
No moment.
No warning.
Just… that.
I stepped back immediately.
My heart was racing, and for a second, I couldn't even understand what was happening.
Yesterday, he felt… different.
Quiet. Calm. Safe.
But in that moment… he didn't feel like that anymore.
I don't know why, but it made me feel small.
Like maybe I misunderstood everything.
Like maybe I was just… easy to approach. Easy to try.
And the worst part is—
I don't even know which version of him is real.
The one who sat beside me quietly?
Or the one who didn't think before trying to kiss me?
I keep replaying it in my head.
Over and over.
Trying to understand.
Trying to find something I missed.
But all I feel is confusion.
And something else I don't want to admit.
Because even after all that…
I'm still thinking about him.
And I hate that.
Did I make the right choice saying yes? Or am I already too far in