Riley
I couldn't feel my hands.
Not because they were numb. Because I'd stopped checking. They were just... there. At the ends of my arms. Doing whatever they wanted.
The tree bark was rough against my back. The dirt was cold under my legs. The moon was somewhere above the trees but I couldn't see it. Just dark. Just shadows. Just the inside of my own head.
Hannah.
Hannah.
Hannah.
I pressed my palms against my eyes. Hard. Saw stars. Didn't help.
"Shut up," I whispered.
They didn't shut up.
---
Sasha
I found her at the bottom of a ravine.
Not hiding. Not running. Just... sitting. Against a fallen log. Knees pulled to her chest. Forehead on her knees.
She looked smaller than before. Not physically. Something else. Like she'd folded herself up and couldn't remember how to unfold.
"Riley."
She didn't move.
I slid down the dirt slope. Almost fell. Caught myself on a root. The gun was heavy in my waistband. I'd forgotten it was there.
I crouched in front of her.
"Hey."
Nothing.
"Riley, look at me."
She lifted her head.
Her eyes were red. Not from crying. From something else. Something inside. Her face was pale. Her lips were cracked. Her hair was matted with blood that wasn't hers.
She looked at me like she didn't recognize me.
"Sasha," she said. Her voice was a scratch. A whisper.
"Yeah. It's me."
"You shouldn't be here."
"Too bad."
I sat down next to her. Not close. Just... there. The log was rotten. Something crawled out from under it. I didn't look.
"They're going to come," she said. "Marcus. The others. They're going to come and they're going to try to kill me."
"Let them try."
"I almost killed him. I almost killed all of them. I had the pipe in my hand and I wanted to—"
"But you didn't."
"Because you stopped me."
"Yeah. I did."
She looked at her hands. The dark nails. The too-long fingers.
"What if you're not there next time?"
"I'll be there."
"You can't promise that."
"I just did."
---
She started shaking.
Not from cold. Not from fear. Something else. Her whole body. Like something was trying to crawl out of her skin.
I didn't know what to do. I'd never seen her like this. Riley was always still. Always controlled. Always empty.
Now she was falling apart. Right in front of me.
"Hey—"
"Don't touch me."
I pulled my hand back.
"Sorry."
"No. I'm sorry. I just..." She wrapped her arms around herself. Held on tight. Like she was afraid she'd fly apart. "I can feel them. Inside my head. All of them. The ones I killed. The ones I couldn't save. Hannah. She's in there too. But she's not... she's not alive. She's just... a hole. A hole where she used to be."
"That sounds horrible."
"It is."
She looked at me. Her eyes were wet.
"Why do you stay?"
"Because you need someone to."
"That's not an answer."
"It's the only one I have."
---
We sat in the dark.
The forest was quiet. No birds. No bugs. Just the wind and our breathing and the distant sound of something moving in the trees.
I didn't know if it was Marcus. Or Allen. Or the Stalkers.
Didn't matter.
I wasn't leaving.
"You should sleep," I said.
"I can't."
"Try."
"The voices—"
"Talk to me instead. Tell me about something. Anything. Before all of this."
She was quiet for a long time.
"I had a dog once," she said. "At my second foster home. A mutt. Brown. Ugly. It slept on my bed every night."
"What happened to it?"
"They got rid of it. Said it was too much trouble. I came home from school one day and it was just... gone."
"I'm sorry."
"I cried for a week. Then I stopped. After that, I never cried again. Not until tonight."
She looked at me.
"I cried in front of you. That's never happened before."
"I know."
"I don't know how to feel about it."
"You don't have to know. You just have to feel it."
She stared at me. Then she leaned her head against my shoulder.
I didn't move. Didn't speak. Just let her.
---
Riley
Her shoulder was warm.
I didn't know why that mattered. But it did. For the first time in hours, the voices got quieter. Not gone. Just... further away.
"Sasha."
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For staying."
She didn't say anything. Just shifted slightly. Leaned her head against mine.
We sat like that. Two girls in the dark. Waiting for whatever came next.
The moon moved across the sky. The wind changed direction. Somewhere far away, an animal screamed.
I didn't flinch.
Because I wasn't alone.