Tian Wenmo's footsteps halted. There was no oil lamp in the room, only a faint light casting a blurry shadow on his back.
Qin Sang had thought her youngest son would leap for joy three feet high, but instead, she was met with:
"Mother, I'm not going to the Private School."
The smile on Qin Sang's face froze:
"Huh? Why not?"
Tian Wenmo hung his head even lower, as if trying to bury it in his chest. His voice was muffled, lacking its former clarity and pride:
"I don't want to study anymore."
After saying this, Tian Wenmo walked into the room, went directly to his bunk bed, and lay down on the wooden plank.
Qin Sang looked back at the other family members:
"Did Little Wu get too much sun today?"
Must have gotten sunstroke.
A child who had always dreamed of studying suddenly didn't want to anymore.
Was it like in later generations, where the pressure was too great and he became averse to studying?
That couldn't be, right? When he first came back, wasn't he clamoring desperately to go to the Private School?
How come after working at home for a few days, he doesn't want to study anymore?
Could it be that he thinks working is easier to earn money than studying?
Although Qin Sang didn't believe Tian Wenmo would truly rise to prominence, pass the imperial exams, and become a high official—even if he didn't become an official, she could ensure he had food and clothing—becoming a minor official wasn't bad either. At the very least, passing the Xiucai exam to become a teacher would be an honorable achievement.
Becoming a Xiucai meant exemption from taxes and not having to kneel before officials—many benefits.
Tian Dazhuang and the others shook their heads:
"No, when we were collecting herbs, Little Wu didn't go outside; he was tidying up at home."
Qin Sang thought for a moment and told them all to wait in the main hall while she went to talk to the child.
Closing the door, Qin Sang didn't light the oil lamp either. After adjusting to the darkness, she walked toward the bed by the moonlight streaming through the window.
Pulling aside the cloth partition, Qin Sang sat by Tian Wenmo's bedside and asked gently:
"Little Wu, can you tell Mother why you're suddenly unhappy?"
After she spoke, Little Wu didn't answer. Instead, he turned over, his back facing Qin Sang.
Qin Sang reached out and gently placed her hand on her son:
"Little Wu? Don't want to talk to Mother?"
Still no response.
Qin Sang pursed her lips. This whole family—none of them listened when spoken to nicely; they all needed a stern approach.
She cleared her throat and then said sharply:
"Tian Wenmo, getting a backbone, are you? Didn't you hear Mother asking you a question?"
Tian Wenmo trembled. In the past, Mother had never been this harsh with him.
"Get down here for your old Mother."
Qin Sang commanded.
Tian Wenmo didn't dare disobey and obediently got off the bed.
"Speak. Why don't you want to study?"
Qin Sang asked sternly, her face serious.
Tian Wenmo cried, feeling both aggrieved and angry. He was so miserable, yet Mother was still harsh with him. Mother didn't love him at all anymore:
"Didn't Mother say her son wasn't as good as his older brothers and sisters? Mother should just send them to the Private School."
Qin Sang paused:
"Is it because these past couple of days, your older brothers and sisters learned things quickly, and you feel your confidence was hurt?"
Tian Wenmo felt he didn't quite understand some of the words Mother used, yet he seemed to grasp the meaning:
"Your son isn't cut out for studying. Mother shouldn't waste money. Your son won't become a high official. Your son will work and farm at home from now on."
After saying this, his tears uncontrollably fell.
Qin Sang felt a twinge of pity, but not much. Previously, the Original Body had raised this child to be ungrateful and spoiled, having the airs of a young master without actually being one.
"Your older brothers and sisters learn quickly because they are extremely eager to study. They've always only known they must take care of you, the scholar, thinking scholars are above them. In their hearts, they also want to become scholars.
Who wants to spend a lifetime farming, carrying water, and fertilizing? They've tasted the bitterness of life, so the hardship of studying is nothing to them.
And you learned slowly before because you hadn't experienced life's bitterness. Studying, for you, wasn't something you wanted to do yourself; it was Mother begging you to do it.
Let's not talk about how much time you wasted before. Just tell me now, if Mother sends you to study, will you listen attentively to the teacher's lessons?
Will you write more carefully?
Will you study harder when memorizing texts?"
Tian Wenmo nodded without hesitation:
"Of course I will.
If I don't work hard and be diligent, how could I be worthy of you, Mother, and the sacrifices of my older brothers, sisters, and sisters-in-law?"
Tian Wenmo recalled his life over the past half-month.
Even in the main hall during the sixth and seventh months, the weather was like a fiery cage. His hands became dirty and black from handling mosquito coils, the grime under his fingernails impossible to scrub clean.
When there was no water to drink, he only said he was thirsty, yet it was Mother who fetched it before dawn. He secretly tried carrying that shoulder pole; a single load of water almost crushed his shoulders, and he couldn't even lift it.
When there was no food, he only said he was hungry, yet it was his eldest sister-in-law who endured the smoke and heat in the kitchen to make it.
When the family was too busy, he added firewood. It was even hotter than the main hall. In no time, his clothes were soaked through with sweat.
This family was supported by Mother, his older brothers and sisters, not by him. It was laughable how he used to naively think he was the most important one in this family.
Now he knew: losing anyone in this family would be a great loss, except for himself—it wouldn't make much difference.
The knowledge he used to be so proud of was also shattered by the events of these past two days. That's why he said he didn't want to study anymore and would stay home to work.
He wanted to become a useful person in this family, an indispensable one.
Thinking of this, Tian Wenmo felt lost about returning to the Private School:
"But what if I work hard and still can't pass the Xiucai exam? What if I'm diligent but still can't become a high official?"
Qin Sang patted her child's head, somewhat pleased.
This kid used to be brimming with confidence. It was clear this setback had hit him hard, making him even doubt passing the Xiucai exam:
"That's okay too. Studying and learning to read doesn't necessarily mean you have to become an official to be successful.
Look at Mother doing business. I need to make contracts with people. If I couldn't read, wouldn't I be easily cheated and swindled?
You can come back and teach what you learn to your older brothers and sisters. In the future, when your older brothers and sisters-in-law manage the household, being literate and understanding propriety will prevent them from being fooled.
When your sister marries in the future, being literate will make her in-laws think more highly of her and dare not bully her.
These are all the benefits of your studying.
Even if you don't pass the Xiucai exam or become a high official, it doesn't matter. Perhaps with your guidance, your little nephews or nieces might pass in the future?"
Qin Sang tried to explain it as simply and concisely as possible. The kid should understand.
Only then did Tian Wenmo regain confidence:
"Mother, I know what to do now."
Qin Sang nodded with satisfaction:
"Then tomorrow, Mother will take you to the Private School. Are you willing to go?"
Tian Wenmo nodded emphatically:
"Your child will go."
He had to study seriously and stay far ahead, so his older brothers, sisters-in-law, sister, and nieces wouldn't surpass him.
...
Before dawn, Qin Sang's household lit the oil lamp and bustled with activity.
Five hundred tubes of mosquito coils needed to be loaded onto the cart, and the bundles of medicinal herbs had to be securely tied, covered with oilcloth, and bound with rope.
Next were several empty water buckets. If they said they were going to buy water, they needed to bring buckets for appearances.
Some of the empty buckets were borrowed yesterday when Da Zhuang and San Gui went to hire escorts. With the current water shortage, unused buckets were drying and cracking. Knowing Qin Sang was going to the Town to buy water, no family was unwilling to lend theirs.
The empty buckets were tied to the Mules and Horses's back with rope, adding little weight.
When the rooster crowed, the hired escorts from several families had all arrived.