Chapter 9 – The Measure
The thirty-eighth morning began with the wool already under my knees.
I woke before the light entered the room. My knees felt normal. I went through the routine.
She entered, drank the tea, opened her book.
"Come closer."
I stepped forward. She checked the gloves.
"Kneel."
I knelt on the wool.
There was no pain.
The silence between pages was longer. I counted two hundred and ten breaths.
She turned a page.
"You are very still," she said.
"Yes, Your Majesty."
"Good."
She continued reading.
I knelt longer.
When she closed the book, she said, "Stand."
I stood. My legs were steady.
"Go and rest."
"Yes, Your Majesty."
I went to the cot, folded the wool, lay down.
---
The thirty-ninth morning the wool was under my knees before she entered.
I went through the routine.
She entered, drank the tea, opened her book.
"Come closer."
I stepped forward. She checked the gloves.
"Kneel."
I knelt on the wool.
There was no pain.
The silence between pages was longer. I counted two hundred and twenty breaths.
She turned a page.
"You are very still," she said.
"Yes, Your Majesty."
"Good."
She continued reading.
I knelt longer.
When she closed the book, she said, "Stand."
I stood. My legs were steady.
"Go and rest."
"Yes, Your Majesty."
I went to the cot, folded the wool, lay down.
---
The fortieth morning the wool was under my knees before she entered.
I woke before the light entered the room.
I went through the routine.
She entered, drank the tea, opened her book.
"Come closer."
I stepped forward. She checked the gloves.
"Kneel."
I knelt on the wool.
There was no pain.
The silence between pages was longer. I counted two hundred and thirty breaths.
She turned a page.
"You are very still," she said.
"Yes, Your Majesty."
"Good."
She continued reading.
I knelt longer.
When she closed the book, she said, "Stand."
I stood. My legs were steady.
"Go and rest."
"Yes, Your Majesty."
I went to the cot, folded the wool, lay down.
---
The forty-first morning the wool was under my knees before she entered.
I woke before the light entered the room.
I went through the routine.
She entered, drank the tea, opened her book.
"Come closer."
I stepped forward. She checked the gloves.
"Kneel."
I knelt on the wool.
There was no pain.
The silence between pages was longer. I counted two hundred and forty breaths.
She turned a page.
"You are very still," she said.
"Yes, Your Majesty."
"Good."
She continued reading.
I knelt longer.
When she closed the book, she said, "Stand."
I stood. My legs were steady.
"Go and rest."
"Yes, Your Majesty."
I went to the cot, folded the wool, lay down.
---
The forty-second morning the wool was under my knees before she entered.
I woke before the light entered the room.
I went through the routine.
She entered, drank the tea, opened her book.
"Come closer."
I stepped forward. She checked the gloves.
"Kneel."
I knelt on the wool.
There was no pain.
The silence between pages was longer. I counted two hundred and fifty breaths.
She turned a page.
"You are very still," she said.
"Yes, Your Majesty."
"Good."
She continued reading.
I knelt longer.
When she closed the book, she said, "Stand."
I stood. My legs were steady.
"Go and rest."
"Yes, Your Majesty."
I went to the cot, folded the wool, lay down.
---
The forty-third morning the wool was under my knees before she entered.
I woke before the light entered the room.
I went through the routine.
She entered, drank the tea, opened her book.
"Come closer."
I stepped forward. She checked the gloves.
"Kneel."
I knelt on the wool.
There was no pain.
The silence between pages was longer. I counted two hundred and sixty breaths.
She turned a page.
"You are very still," she said.
"Yes, Your Majesty."
"Good."
She continued reading.
I knelt longer.
When she closed the book, she said, "Stand."
I stood. My legs were steady.
"Go and rest."
"Yes, Your Majesty."
I went to the cot, folded the wool, lay down.
---
The forty-fourth morning the wool was under my knees before she entered.
I woke before the light entered the room.
I went through the routine.
She entered, drank the tea, opened her book.
"Come closer."
I stepped forward. She checked the gloves.
"Kneel."
I knelt on the wool.
There was no pain.
The silence between pages was longer. I counted two hundred and seventy breaths.
She turned a page.
"You are very still," she said.
"Yes, Your Majesty."
"Good."
She continued reading.
I knelt longer.
The silence stretched further. I could feel the wool beneath my knees, the steadiness of my spine, the quiet rhythm of my breath.
When she closed the book, she said, "Stand."
I stood. My legs were steady.
"Go and rest."
"Yes, Your Majesty."
I went to the cot, folded the wool, lay down.
---
The forty-fifth morning the wool was under my knees before she entered.
I woke before the light entered the room.
I went through the routine.
She entered, drank the tea, opened her book.
"Come closer."
I stepped forward. She checked the gloves.
"Kneel."
I knelt on the wool.
There was no pain.
The silence between pages was longer. I counted two hundred and eighty breaths.
She turned a page.
"You are very still," she said.
"Yes, Your Majesty."
"Good."
She closed the book.
"How long can you stay still?"
Another question.
I kept my eyes lowered.
"As long as you want, Your Majesty," I said.
She was silent for a moment.
"Show me."
"
I knelt.
I didn't move.
I counted my breaths — two hundred and ninety, three hundred — the room stayed quiet, the light moved a little more across the floor.
When she finally said, "Stand," my legs were still steady.
"Go and rest."
"Yes, Your Majesty."
I went to the cot, folded the wool, lay down.
It was the first time she had asked me to measure my own stillness.
I lay back and stared at the ceiling.
My knees felt normal.
My body had learned.