Chapter 60: The Man with Five-Cent Special Effects
M-City.
"Oh, the Strongest Man—King?"
Saitama also heard the Hero Association's broadcast, his eyes lit up, and he clenched his fist, full of fighting spirit. "King, huh? The Strongest Man? I really can't wait to have a truly exhilarating fight with you."
"..."
King looked at the eager Saitama, a cold sweat inexplicably trickling down his forehead. "Big brother, stop joking around. I *am* King, right in front of you, and you don't even recognize me? Do you never watch the news? No, wait, you must have heard my name from the Genos underwear commercials, right? Gosh, did you only remember my underwear? Also, if you want to fight me, I suggest we play video games. We can decide the victor without any hard feelings, killing two birds with one stone. Don't you think what I'm saying makes sense?"
"M-City residents, please be advised. M-City residents, please be advised. The Hero Association has an urgent announcement: a Demon Level Mysterious Being has been spotted in L City, and this Demon Level Mysterious Being is rapidly approaching M-City. M-City residents, please evacuate immediately..."
"Mysterious Being?"
Saitama's hand swept his cape, his bald head suddenly stern. "Execute Justice!" Immediately after speaking, he paused slightly, scratched his face, and looked at King apologetically. "Sorry, I stole your catchphrase."
"..."
Big brother, you watch a lot of commercials, don't you? Are you looking for a supermarket sale?
King smiled faintly. "Saitama, let's team up!"
"Team up?"
Saitama looked at King, confused and not understanding.
King nodded. "Of course. The two of us will form a Hero team—the 'Handsome Bald Duo.' In the future, you'll do the work, and I'll do you... Ah, I mean, you'll be responsible for killing Monsters, and I'll be responsible for supporting you from the rear."
"No way," Saitama said, activating his "Serious Rejection" and striding towards L City. "I'm not doing something so troublesome. If it's about killing Monsters, I can perfectly handle it by myself. Why would I need to bring along a burden like you?"
"Hmm, I like your personality. I've pre-ordered hair growth tonic for you."
King quickly followed Saitama. At a time like this, it was naturally best to stick with Saitama. At crucial moments, he could activate his ultimate move—"Leeching Skill: Opportunity Grab!"
...
L City.
The Smelly Lid Prison—a prison where the most heinous criminals were held. All the villains incarcerated here were fierce criminals possessing some powerful, unique skill, such as the gangster who robbed banks barehanded, or the madman who could concoct chemical products from materials found anywhere.
"Hmm, a Demon Level Mysterious Being? L City? Oh, I understand. Leave it to me!"
Inside a second-floor solitary cell, there was an iron bed and a television. On the iron bed, a burly man lay with one knee bent. He had a messy "chicken nest" hairstyle, a face full of stubble, a rugged appearance, and a muscular physique as strong as an ox or horse. He wore a blue-and-white striped prisoner's uniform, over which was a white T-shirt with a large red heart drawn on it. Iron ball shackles were fastened to his ankles.
He was none other than the Hero Association-certified S-Class Hero Rank 16—Puri-Puri Prisoner, a flamboyant gay man who loved nothing more than assaulting handsome men (King: "I'm in great danger!" Saitama: "Oh, I'm perfectly safe then!"). Fearing that he might lose control and harm innocent handsome men, he voluntarily imprisoned himself. On one hand, he guarded the most heinous criminals; on the other, he used the television to seek out handsome criminals, then broke out of prison to capture them, bringing them back to do some shameful, unspeakable things. Almost every criminal he brought back eventually ended up as human-stick bun-heads or was driven to madness.
"Hmm, it's time to break out."
Puri-Puri Prisoner hung up the phone, twisted his neck and strong arms, emitting creaking joint friction sounds. He clenched his fists, swiped his foot, and burst out of his cell, landing steadily on the first floor from the second. Following him down were some non-existent, special effect, pure white feathers.
It must be said, Puri-Puri Prisoner was a man who came with his own five-cent special effects.
"Boss... Boss?!"
The criminals active in the ground floor courtyard stared at Puri-Puri Prisoner in terror, shrinking back one by one. Ever since Puri-Puri Prisoner moved into the Smelly Lid Prison, he had established a rule: any criminal causing trouble would be subjected to the "Deep Kiss Punishment," meaning they would have to share a French kiss with Puri-Puri Prisoner!
Under this terrifying rule, all the thugs had turned into obedient children. In prison, they dared not speak loudly, dared not breathe heavily, and dared not cause any trouble. In short, from the criminals' perspective, after Puri-Puri Prisoner arrived, the Smelly Lid Prison truly became hell.
"All of you, clear a path for me! I'm going to... break out!"
Puri-Puri Prisoner crouched on the ground in a sprinter's starting stance, staring at the nearly one-meter-thick steel plate wall. He took a deep breath, kicked off the ground with a powerful thrust, and shot forward like an arrow from a bowstring.
Boom!
Half a second later, the one-meter-thick steel plate wall had a large hole torn through it. Puri-Puri Prisoner had already escaped from the Smelly Lid Prison, leaving behind a group of criminals who were well-accustomed to this sight.
However, despite this rare opportunity to escape, the criminals inside the Smelly Lid Prison had no intention of fleeing. This was because, in five seconds, the prison's mobile guard team would arrive. Any criminal who took even one step outside the prison would be riddled with holes. Unless they possessed Puri-Puri Prisoner's speed, capable of bursting outside in a single breath, they could only sigh in despair: "Alas, alas!"
"My handsome men, your beloved Puri-Puri Prisoner is here again! Have you all cleaned your bottoms?"
Puri-Puri Prisoner sprinted at extreme speed through the tunnel towards the border between L City and M-City, a deeply meaningful expression on his face. For him, the purpose of breaking out of prison was only to protect handsome men and capture handsome bounty criminals. As for killing Mysterious Beings, that was merely an incidental matter.
"Go for it! Angel Dash!"
A shower of five-cent special effect pure white feathers scattered, and his speed immediately doubled, as he surged forward in an extreme dash.
...
M-City.
Hero Association Command Center.
Ding-a-ling!
"Hello, this is Hero Association Headquarters. What? Three Mysterious Beings have appeared together in M-City's Zhiyue Alley? And these three Mysterious Beings can even speak human language? Could you briefly describe the appearance of these three Mysterious Beings? Oh, I'm listening, please continue..."
Maria's pretty face was solemn as she listened to the citizen's description over the phone. "I understand. Thank you for the information you've provided. We will definitely eliminate the Mysterious Beings as soon as possible and restore peace to the alleyways. Goodbye."
After hanging up, she immediately reported to Sitch: "Report, Director. A citizen reported the sighting of three intelligent Dinosaur Mysterious Beings in M-City's Zhiyue Alley. One is about two meters tall and extremely fast; another is thirty to forty meters long, enormous, causing the ground to shake when it moves; the third is seven to eight meters tall with no obvious characteristics, but the other two Dinosaur Mysterious Beings seem to follow it as their leader."
"Oh? Intelligent dinosaurs? Extremely fast dinosaurs? Dinosaurs that can make the ground shake?"
Sitch narrowed his eyes, quickly analyzing the information. "From their intelligence, they are certainly three of the five existing finished Dinosaurmen from the Hammond Dinosaur Research Institute. Based on the characteristics you described, one is a Velociraptor known for its speed, another is an enormous Earthquaker Dragon, and the last one..."
He frowned slightly. The last Dinosaurman had no obvious characteristics, making an immediate judgment impossible. However, the elimination method could be used. Among the five finished Dinosaurmen, the Ankylosaurus, Earthquaker Dragon, and Velociraptor could be ruled out. Of the remaining, the Pterodactylus had obvious double wings. If the last Dinosaurman was a Pterodactylus, with such a distinct feature, the citizen would certainly have mentioned it clearly. However, according to the citizen, the last dinosaur was unremarkable, with no obvious characteristics. Therefore, the Pterodactylus could be ruled out, leaving only one of the five finished dinosaurs... the Allosaurus!
Legend has it, the dinosaur with the highest intelligence in the dinosaur family!
From the current situation, the Allosaurus Dinosaurman was actually capable of leading two other Dinosaurmen of the same level, forming a team to invade humanity, rather than arrogantly acting alone like other Demon Level Mysterious Beings. This showed that the Allosaurus Dinosaurman was indeed extraordinary.
"Maria, immediately issue a broadcast. Classify the Velociraptor Dinosaurman, Earthquaker Dragon Dinosaurman, and Allosaurus Dinosaurman as Demon Level Mysterious Beings."
Although the three Dinosaurmen had not yet displayed a Disaster level equivalent to a Demon Level Mysterious Being, in order to draw the attention of the Heroes and eliminate the Dinosaurmen as soon as possible, he made an exception and defined the three most threatening Dinosaurmen as Demon Level Mysterious Beings.
"Yes, Director."
After receiving the order, Maria immediately prepared for the broadcast.
Thanks to 'Bigger Ant' for the reward. Oh, on the reward list, a familiar name, one of the three pillars of the Grassroots Alliance. By the way, I forgot to mention something: in a previous chapter, when I first wrote about the five finished Dinosaurmen, I miscounted (cough, worried). I said five, but wrote six types. Actually, everyone knows the sixth type was prepared for Hammond~
(end of chapter)