"Jett!"
"..."
"What's with you, man? You've been zoning out all day. You look like someone who got laid and then ghosted."
"Pae!! You-"
I sat up straight, eyes bulging. Pae, are you psychic or something? Honestly, I've been through my fair share of bedroom battles,
but this time... This time, even a warrior like me walked away with wounds. Wounds!
"If something's up, just say it. Stop spacing out."
"It's hard to explain."
"Fine, whatever, dude."
"Why so mean? My heart is fragile."
Then, he smacked me hard on the head-probably to bring me back to reality. I sighed and took a long sip of my iced milk, only to choke on its sweetness. Pae rolled his eyes. I bet he's going to gossip about me to Duang
later. Duang, who is probably snuggled up somewhere in Chiang Mai with Khun Qin right now.
People in relationships... I don't wanna deal with them.
"Seriously, what's up?"
"Don't push me."
"Alright, I'm out."
"Pae... Have you ever truly loved someone?"
I emphasized the "truly" to make sure he knew I was dead serious. Pea, with his scruffy beard, sighed. He's probably got a date with his wife. That's why he's rushing through this meal.
What the hell.
Everyone's got a partner these days.
"I'm asking about the last time you really meant it."
"Prachein, listen-"
"If you stall one more time, I swear I'll pour this soup over your head, you damn-"
"You're so dramatic."
"Just get to the point!"
"Fine. I hooked up with someone. The usual."
"AIDS exists, you know."
"I always use protection, thank you very much."
Pae shook his head, chewing on an ice cube like a stressed-out person. He's scolded me about my lifestyle plenty of times. But come on, it's not like I sleep around that much! Just... not with the same person, that's all. I'm just a carefree guy, right?
"So, here's the thing. I woke up to a cold sheet. You get what I mean?"
"Nope. Explain."
"I woke up, and he was gone."
"And? What were you expecting? Breakfast together? A temple visit? That's hilarious. It was a one-night stand. You wake up first, you leave. Same thing."
"Heh..."
"Wait. Have you never had this happen before?"
"Not really. Usually, I wake up first. Or I leave right after. If he falls asleep, I sleep too. I don't let things drag on."
"Well, now you know how it feels."
"What, am I not good enough or something?"
"How the hell should I know? Maybe he had something to do. Did he leave anything behind?"
"Yeah. Just the torn wrapper of a used condom. What a lovely keepsake."
"Gross."
"Three rounds that night. I was completely drained. I've never been that satisfied before, Pae. Imagine this-you have the best omakase ever, and the next day, someone offers you cheap sushi from a convenience store. It just doesn't taste the same."
I put on my best heartbroken face. I meant it. Even the kisses he gave me that night-I still can't forget them.
Who the hell is he?
How can someone be that perfect?
"Sounds like you're hooked."
"I just want one more night."
"Just one?" Pae muttered.
"As many times as he'd allow."
"Who is he? A student from our university? Where'd you pick him up?"
"The usual place, but no, he's not from our university."
"Oh yeah?"
"Pae, he felt like a dream."
"You mean like Khun Qin?"
"Even more than Khun Qin. Just sitting there, his presence alone... I was shaking, couldn't stop fidgeting, walked like I had a limp."
"You idiot." Pae burst out laughing, but I was serious. His face, his body, his style, the way he talked, the cologne he wore, his body language... I swear, I felt bewitched.
"He didn't even seem like he was from this country. I could feel it."
"Did you talk to him? Before, you know..."
"Are you crazy? Who could even think straight? The moment I drove him to the hotel, his hand was on my thigh, wouldn't stop moving. Next thing I knew, he was at my belt buckle."
"Sounds hot."
"The hottest, Pae. He was top-tier. No need for divine intervention."
I stirred the ice in my iced milk. Look, it's not like I was obsessed or anything. I just..really liked him. I mean, how often do you meet someone who's exactly your type? Almost
never. And damn it, he was something else.
I think I just wanted to know more about him.
For the first time ever, I wanted to actually get to know someone I'd slept with.
"So what now? Gonna wait for him at the same place?"
"Already tried. He didn't show. Turns out, one of our seniors kind of knows him. I asked around. They said he only shows up once in a while. Last year, they saw him almost every month at that place, and then he disappeared. Came back this month, and after the night I spent with him, he hasn't gone back there since."
"Maybe you sucked. Total amateur."
"Three rounds. I'll say it again-three."
"Oh my god, shut up."
"I just want to know him."
"Do you even know his name? How the hell am I supposed to help if you don't?"
"Mars."
Mars, like the planet.
And just like that, he really did feel worlds away.
"Marvis."
—
"Say my name."
"M-Mars."
"No, it's Marvis this time :)"
"Mars."
I muttered it in Korean, making Plapplueng pause at my unexpected trilingual moment. I rolled my eyes and tossed a crumpled sketch paper at her. She was one of the few friends I had here... Ah, here in Thailand.
"Where's your mind wandering off to? If you miss Korea that much, just go back already."
"You're so loud, Plapplueng."
"Don't mix Thai and English like that, Mars. Speak full Thai or you'll forget it all."
"What do you want?" I spun my pencil in sync with the beat of a Lapsley song playing nearby.
And in that moment-like a switch flipping-memories came flooding back, sending chills through me.
His whispers, playful yet everywhere, echoed in my head, not even sparing
the bed.
"Mars, Remember When I Said You Were Like the Rain?"
"You think I'm like the rain?"
"What kind of question is that?"
"I don't know."
"Maybe it's because being with you feels relaxing or something."
"I don't think it's that."
"Then why ask me?" I sighed, watching my ever-careless friend take off her T-shirt to change into a tank top-completely braless.
(Don't freak out; she had her back to me.)
Even though going braless wasn't exactly accepted in Thailand, she did it so often that I was sure she just didn't care anymore.
I shifted my gaze from my friend to the skyline. From this high up, I could still see the clouds and the sun dipping below the horizon, the orange hues washing over the buildings, blending together in a way that was more beautiful than usual. I let my thoughts drift without bothering to pull them
back.
I gave myself the freedom to feel.
"Are we going?"
"Going where?"
"To eat, obviously! Marvis, you're driving me insane."
"What?"
"You can't just work all day without eating! Come on, let's go to Paragon."
"Again?" I grumbled, but I still got up to find something to wear. I picked out something simple, but I still wasted time choosing accessories. I loved dressing up, shopping for clothes, and fashion in general-that's why I chose to study fashion design. Even though my studies were draining me, well...
Pain from doing what you love isn't that bad.
"Do you even know how to spell 'defeat'?"
"Of course not."
"Ugh, I forgot who I was talking to!"
"As long as you can say it, that's good enough." I frowned, slipped on my black leather slippers, and followed my shoulder-length-haired friend to the elevator. As I watched the digital numbers count down, Plapplueng applied her red lipstick. It suited her.
"You look wicked."
"I am."
"See? How am I not supposed to speak English? Sometimes I just can't think of the right Thai word."
"Just use what's in your vocabulary, Marvis. Guys love it when girls act all cutesy and clueless."
"Are you bullying me?" She stuck her tongue out at me before grabbing my hand and leading me to the parking lot. This girl was filthy rich. I thought to myself. Yesterday she was driving a Porsche, today it's a Benz. Not that I was complaining-having someone
drive me around was convenient. I didn't even know how to drive.
"When are you going back to Korea?"
"I'll go whenever I'm done with work."
"Change things up a little. And stop by to visit your grandma's grave."
"This is a mess. My mom's a full-blooded Chinese woman born in Thailand. My dad's Korean, but they met in San Francisco. Then they had me, so I was born there, hold an American passport, live in Korea, and speak three languages. What the fuck is this?" I laughed. It was confusing. My first language was English, but I learned Thai and Korean because my parents drilled them into me from a young age. As a kid, I could barely hold a conversation with anyone because
everything got jumbled together.
"Hey..."
"Hmm?" I turned to Plapplueng as she suddenly spoke up while the car sped onto the expressway. I kept my gaze on the road ahead, listening to the soft love song playing in the background to keep the silence at bay.
"Has anyone ever approached you while you were over there?"
"Here and there."
"When Are You Gonna Get a Boyfriend, Mar? Staying Single Just to Make People Jealous?"
"Well." I chuckled lightly, shrugging as if to say that wasn't the worst way to look at it. It wasn't that I didn't believe in love, nor was I heartbroken to the point of shutting myself off. I just didn't see love as a necessity in my
21-year-old life.
"Annoying. You have people swarming around you all the time."
"Swarming?"
"It's just a metaphor."
"Noted."
"Want me to curse them out for you?"
"No need. I don't think anyone deserves that."
"Such a pain. Do you even know that phrase?"
"I've heard it before."
"You need to expand your vocabulary. The way you talk, all soft and airy, guys fall for it instantly. Meanwhile, girls like me? I wouldn't even know where to put my face."
I muttered under my breath in English that she was being ridiculous. It didn't take long to reach our destination since traffic wasn't as bad as expected.
As soon as we entered the mall, she spread her arms to embrace the air conditioning. She had been talking about splurging on Prada's new collection since the night before. Well, if she had the money, why not?
"Marvisss!"
"What?"
"Make spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, please! I miss your cooking."
"Sure," I agreed easily. It was just spaghetti, after all.
"I'll probably take a while in the store. I don't usually shop at this brand either."
"I can drop you off."
"No way. If a fashion major like you walks in, you'd probably stand there frowning, analyzing every detail like it's serious business. I don't want you getting all moody."
I laughed. She knew me too well. Not surprising-we were best friends. She
gave me a quick peck on the cheek before telling me to wait for her at the gourmet market. Even though I loved shopping for clothes, I enjoyed walking around supermarkets just as much. I liked cooking, mainly because I had always lived alone and wasn't fond of eating out. Yeah, I was picky.
"I'll call when I'm done."
"Have fun, bae."
We split up, and I took the escalator down to buy groceries for my apartment and ingredients for tonight's spaghetti. Pushing my cart through the aisles, I hummed along to the Christmas music playing throughout the mall. The holiday season was near-my favorite time of year. Who doesn't
love Christmas? No one.
"Which cheese should I get? Mommy's so confused."
"Four cheeses is okay, I guess."
"Okay?"
"Well, it's the same thing as 'okayyy,' but in, like, teen slang and stuff."
"Who's been teaching you all this? Mommy really wants to know."
The conversation between a mother and her son in front of the cheese display made me pause. Maybe I had been staring too long because the boy, whom his mom had called "Thi," turned around and locked eyes with me.
"Holy shit!"
"Language, Jamie."
I burst out laughing. His mom even flicked his forehead for cursing and tugged at his ear while he groaned in protest. He looked genuinely surprised to see me here. We stood there, staring at each other for a few seconds before his mom sighed in defeat and wheeled her cart away, clearly fed up
with us.
"I love your tee."
And he was the first to break the silence.
"Thanks :)"
He looked like a boy straight out of a rom-com-radiant yet full of mystery. Girls were probably obsessed with him. He wore an oversized Mega Yacht t-shirt, light-washed jeans rolled up at the ankles, and high-top Converse with brightly colored socks that I was pretty sure were from Jacquemus'
latest collection. It wouldn't be surprising if people thought he was dressed simply-it was just a t-shirt, jeans, sneakers, and a face like an overexcited golden retriever. But
no-he was a guy who knew himself well and dressed exceptionally.
"Cute socks."
"Oh, come on."
"Are we really going to stand here complimenting each other's outfits? This
isn't working for me."
"You started it." I pushed my shopping cart next to him, and our height difference made me a little envious of his long legs. It wasn't weird for me to be casually talking to someone I once had a one-night stand with.
In fact, I quite liked him.
"Phi, help me pick out some cheese."
"Stop right now. Stop immediately! If you don't stop, I'll take you to the very end!"
"Take me?"
"That way?" His expression turned panicked, cheeks flushing red, which
made me chuckle. Why was everything he did so unintentionally funny? Jamie looked like he was about to bite my head off, but I truly had no idea what I'll take you to the very end meant to him.
"Don't call me 'Phi'."
"Why not? It sounds cute."
"Because you're older."
"How do you know I'm older?"
"I just dooo."
"You're pretty sharp, huh? :)"
"I'm begging you, please, I'll even bow down to your feet if you want-just let me go. I give up. I'm scared now!" He squealed like a kid, spouting something I didn't fully understand, but I swear, it was hilarious. I let him off the hook, and we quietly picked out cheese together.
And if this were a romance movie...
At the moment our hands brushed while reaching for the same cheese, there would definitely be some cheesy love song playing in the background.
"This one's good too. Have you tried it?"
"I don't think they have it in Seoul. I've never seen it before."
"So... you don't live in Thailand?"
"Hold this." I tossed the cheese he recommended into my cart.
"Ugh, I can never win the lottery."
"Lottery?"
"Yeah, like a lotto. Same thing."
"Sounds difficult."
"So, are you here for a trip or for work? Can I ask that?"
He was adorable-like a curious little puppy. I smiled slightly.
"As long as you help me with this." I showed him my shopping list. He nodded before casually pushing my cart for me, reassuring me that I didn't need to worry about his mom. Apparently, she liked doing the grocery shopping alone and would call him if she needed help.
"I changed jobs. Still in school, though."
"You must be smart. It must be freezing in Korea right now. Single-digit temperatures, I bet. The kind of cold that cuts through your bones."
"You go there often?"
"Not really, but whenever my mom takes me, it's always in December or January. No idea why."
"Yeah, something like that. Just needed a change of scenery. I come back to Thailand every year anyway. Got some errands to run."
"Wow, you actually know the word 'errands'?"
"I know plenty." I grumbled, tossing a pack of ground pork into the cart where he was resting his arm. He watched me with bright, curious eyes. I wrinkled my nose at him-he looked just like a golden retriever puppy.
"Like what?"
T_T
"That's cute. Can't I call you 'Phi'?"
I knew exactly what I was doing. I knew how to make someone soften up. Plubplung always teased me about being a flirt. I never really understood what that meant, but if getting closer, making a pleading face, reaching out to hold his index finger and giving it a tiny shake before asking again
counted as flirting-then fine.
"Can't I call you 'Phi'?"
Guess I am a flirt.
"F-Fine, you can..."
—
"Do people actually meet dates while grocery shopping?"
"I met mine before grocery shopping."
"Marvis!"
"What? It's true."
"Okay, okay. So... how is it? Is he nice?"
Plupplueng glanced over at the guy lounging on her couch, sketching something idly in his notebook. If only she knew-her friend was dangerously good at drawing people in. Anyone who wasn't careful would end up utterly spun around his finger. Not exactly dangerous, but...
Let's just say he had a way with charm.
"People don't just talk about these things."
"Alright, alright."
"So, are you hungry yet? I'll make the spaghetti."
"Yeah, let's eat, chef."
Marvis got up from the couch, stretched lazily, and went looking for an apron. When he spotted all the ingredients we had picked out that afternoon, he couldn't help but think about someone-someone who had stayed with him until the very last second, helping him choose every little thing. Even body wash.
"This one smells nice. I used to use it."
"Yeah?"
"Mhm. It's got a sexy scent. Shower with this, and girls will follow you all over campus."
"Just thinking about it makes me laugh."
"Laughing by yourself? Crazy."
"Are you nitpicking?"
"You just look so annoyingly happy. What's up with that?"
"Nothing... just thinking about something funny."
"Thinking about or missing that junior? That kid, right?"
"Didn't ask, but I'm guessing they're younger."
"Immortal again, huh?"
"How is that immortal? I've heard that term before-immortal."
Marvis, busy seasoning the ground pork, muttered to himself, making Plupplueng sigh as she had to explain the whole 'dating younger keeps you young' thing again. It took a while for him to get it, and by the end, she had a headache.
This guy was basically a five-year-old in a twenty-one-year-old's body.
"So how did you two meet?"
"Not really met, just a normal one-night stand, then ran into each other again."
"And you two can just talk like that? No awkwardness?"
"Don't know, Phi. You can be friends if they're interesting enough."
"And are they interesting to you, Marvis?"
"He is :)"
Plupplueng scrunched her nose in exasperation at how ridiculously pleased
he looked while cooking.
Marvis was charming in everything he did-in every word, every action, every thought. Whether it was a woman or a man, people fell for him way too easily. She wasn't exaggerating. But no matter who it was, in the end, it always ended the same way.
"Are you planning to take it seriously? Like, actually talking?"
"We can talk."
"But not seriously?"
Yeah, that meant he was going to push them away like always.
"Don't you dare smile."
"Who knows."
"Stop messing around with people's feelings!"
"Wait, is that... a song?" Marvis asked, bewildered.
"Duh. Ever heard of Golf & Mike?"
"Nope."
"Not surprised, honestly."
Plupplueng handed him a can of tomatoes while he busied himself with ingredients. She looked at her friend-same height as her-and felt a sense of unease.
"Mar."
"Yes?"
"Don't go breaking anyone's heart, got it?"
"So what? I have his Instagram now."
"And?"
"Just casually stalking. Swiping through his stories when I'm bored."
"Pathetic. Why didn't you ask for his LINE?"
"He doesn't have one, dumbass. He's not even in this country. Probably uses something else. Doesn't seem like the type glued to his phone, either."
"So... are you gonna go for it?" Plupplueng asked, watching her friend stress-eat through a ridiculous number of fried fish balls. But no matter how much that idiot ate, he never gained weight. His body was still in top shape- probably because he had nothing better to do during break and just hit the gym like every other health-conscious guy.
Yeah, right. Bet he was hooking up with someone at the gym too.
Shameless.
"Me? A warrior like me would never lower myself to chase someone."
"Alright then."
"Haha..." He wiped his nonexistent sweat. He wouldn't admit it, but yeah... he wanted to.
It all seemed so difficult, even though it shouldn't be. The other guy didn't seem closed off at all. He even followed him back on Instagram. Really, the only way to start a conversation now was to slide into his DMs.
But how the hell do I even start a conversation? Is there anything I can bring up? What should I do?
—
"What should I talk to him about, Pae?"
"Didn't you say you weren't gonna flirt, dumbass?"
"I'm not flirting! Where did that come from?! I said talking. Talking! Bold letters! Underlined! Highlighted! Circled two hundred times!"
"Dunno, invite him out?"
"I said talk, not ask him out. That's too much. Don't be an idiot, Pae."
Jettana smacked his friend's head, only to get smacked back just as hard. Typical. Everyone bullied him all the time.
"Politics?"
"Nope. Hard pass."
"You're tough, Jettana. You've always been tough. But why... why today?"
"What the hell are you on about? Are you seriously monologuing? Do I actually have a crazy person for a friend?"
"It's just hard, okay?! I just wanna get to know him, but it's not like I like him or anything!"
"Damn. And this is you not liking him?"
"I mean, it's not like I have to have him or anything! But if I could, that'd be-"
"Why though? Is he that cool?"
"Yeah! Even just talking for a bit, you can tell he's, like, super cool, man."
"Then go get him. You're good at this, Jettana."
"Stop hyping me up. I'm serious!"
"Just talk like you always do. Find a topic to latch onto. But don't do that dumb fake oops, I made a mistake thing. It looks stupid. I won't vibe with it."
"Alright, alright. I wasn't gonna. Only losers do that. If I ever catch someone doing it-bam, bam, bam!"
Pae sighed, shaking his head at Jettana's over-the-top dramatics. He watched as his friend picked up his phone, scrolling and tapping away furiously.
A moment later, Jettana's eyes went wide as he looked up, voice cracking.
"Holy shit."
"What?"
"I was scrolling through his Instagram, liking his old posts-"
"Oh my god."
"-and then he DM'd me."
Pae had never felt such a mix of love and frustration toward someone. He wished Duang were here. Nakorn Pathom's number one love expert might actually be able to help this lovestruck idiot.
"What did he say?"
Jettana's hands were shaking. He had spent his whole life being the one who flirted.
"You sure you're just looking? Not gonna make a move?"
...Holy shit, Aaoww T_T
Why the hell was he the one getting flirted with today?!