MIRA
"It is clear he misses you," An-An said while lying flat on the desk beside me.
"Oh no, he came only because I screamed like I was dying," I said, rolling my eyes.
"But why him? Why didn't his mother come? And moreover, if he's scared, why didn't he run away? Instead, he stepped forward."
An-An sounded so confident about whatever relationship she thought existed between us, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
But honestly, I didn't even know the reason behind it myself.
"Whatever it was, let's forget about it. Let's consider it an act of kindness from the King of Grumps," I said.
At that, both of us giggled.
As if I was trying to avoid thinking about it.
And somehow, avoiding it seemed like the only thing that made sense.
"Anyway, tell me about your past experience with Yuze. We left that story unfinished that day."
However, even when I tried to avoid the topic, somehow our conversation always found its way back to that particular man.
"Oh yeah," An-An said, sitting up a little. "So where was I?"
"You said you saw him sitting on the bench alone or something."
"Ah, yeah..." she let out a small huff. "That unforgettable scene."
She looked out of the classroom window for a moment before continuing.
"After that day, I started noticing him everywhere."
I raised an eyebrow.
"That sounds a little creepy."
"It was not creepy," she protested immediately. "We studied on the same campus."
"Sure."
An-An ignored me.
"At first, I thought it was just a crush that would disappear after a few weeks. But every time I saw him, it only got worse."
"Worse?"
"He always looked so... distant."
Her gaze softened slightly.
"No matter where he was, he never really seemed to belong there. There would be people around him, classmates, professors, friends... but somehow he always looked alone."
I listened quietly.
"And trust me, I tried."
"Tried what?"
"To get closer to him."
I almost laughed.
"You?"
"Yes, me."
She pointed at herself dramatically.
"I tried starting conversations. I tried asking for help in the library. I even pretended to be interested in architecture for almost two months."
I burst out laughing.
"You did not. You were finance student."
"I absolutely did."
"What happened then?"
"What do you think happened?" she sighed. "Nothing."
I blinked.
"Nothing?"
"Nothing." She rested her chin on her palm.
"That's the problem with Chen Yuze. He was never rude. Never mean. Never disrespectful."
"But?"
"But he always felt out of reach. He was so distant, it felt like reaching a star in the sky from earth."
The way she said it made me stop smiling.
"It was like..." she searched for the words. "No matter how many steps you took toward him, the distance remained the same."
For a moment, neither of us spoke.
Then she smiled faintly.
"There was only one time when things were different."
I looked at her immediately.
"What happened?"
An-An looked down at her hands.
"Back then, things at home were really bad."
Her voice had become quieter now.
"My family's restaurant wasn't doing well. My father and grandmother argued every day. I was studying, working, and pretending I was okay when I really wasn't. I was just truly fucked up."
I frowned.
She rarely talked about those days.
"One evening, I was sitting alone behind the architecture building."
"The smoking place?"
"The smoking place," she confirmed.
"And?"
"I was crying."
I froze.
An-An laughed awkwardly.
"Not my finest moment."
Then she continued.
"I thought nobody was around. But somehow, he appeared."
My heart skipped slightly.
"He saw you?"
"He did."
"What did he say?"
An-An smiled.
"That's the thing."
"He didn't say much."
"Then?"
"He sat beside me for a few minutes."
I blinked.
"That's it?"
"Pretty much."
I stared at her.
She stared back.
"You are terrible at telling stories." I slapped her shoulder.
She laughed.
"No, listen."
Her eyes drifted toward the window again.
"He wasn't the type of person who comforted others. Even back then. But he sat there anyway."
"For how long?"
"Maybe ten minutes."
"And neither of you spoke?"
"Not really."
I looked horrified.
"That sounds painful."
"It wasn't."
For the first time, her smile looked genuinely soft.
"Because somehow, those ten minutes felt comforting."
I didn't say anything.
"And before he left..." she continued quietly, "he told me something."
"What?"
An-An looked at me.
"'Some problems don't disappear. You just become strong enough to carry them.'"
The classroom suddenly felt quieter.
I wasn't sure why.
"That's all he said? I mean how did he know you were having some problems?" I asked.
"I don't know how he knew, but he once or twice came into our resturant with one of his friend I guess, at that time I was having some of the problematic beef with my family."
Her face seemed as if she does not care, but I can feel deep inside she looked really hurt.
"Then he left." An tried to change the topic.
"And you never told him how you felt?"
An-An shook her head.
"No."
"Why?"
"Because after that, I realized something."
"What?"
"He was never looking for anyone."
Her smile turned bittersweet.
"And I wasn't brave enough to wait forever." She let out a sign, "i wasn't the patient one you know."
For a moment, she was silent.
Then she shrugged.
"Still..."
I looked at her.
"If God ever gives me another chance..."
A small smile appeared on her face.
"I think I would go for it."
I smiled, a smile which was forced.
"If that ever really happens, I'm definitely ready to sail the ship," I said, trying to cheer her up.
"Oh, you don't, Mira," she said, looking at me.
I frowned.
"Know what?"
She looked at me with an expression I couldn't quite understand.
"You really don't know anything, do you?"
"Know what?" I repeated.
Instead of answering, she simply leaned back in her chair and sighed.
"Never mind."
"An-An."
"No."
"An-An."
She pointed a finger at me.
"No. Because if I say it now, you'll deny it for the next three months."
I stared at her.
She stared back.
And somehow, that only made me more suspicious.
"What exactly are you talking about?"
"It's that the ship you're talking about never even got the chance to be built," she sighed. "But I can already see another ship being built."
I blinked.
"What ship?"
A slow grin spread across her face.
"The one I'm fully prepared to sail."
"I didn't understand," I said, looking at her in confusion.
But deep down, I had a feeling I knew exactly what she was about to say.
I just wanted her to say it out loud.
An-An studied my face for a moment before speaking.
"That emotionless man seems to have a different look in his eyes whenever he looks at you."
I immediately frowned.
"What?"
"I'm serious."
"An-An, are you hearing yourself right now?"
She rolled her eyes.
"And there you go. Denying it already."
"Because you're making things up."
"I'm not."
"You are."
She leaned forward slightly.
"Mira, I've known him for years. Not personally, but long enough to notice things."
I opened my mouth to argue, but she continued before I could.
"That man barely pays attention to anyone around him. Yet somehow, he always notices when you're involved."
I stared at her.
My heart did something strange.
Something annoying.
Something I chose to ignore.
"You're imagining things."
An-An simply smiled.
The kind of smile that made me feel like she knew something I didn't.
Or perhaps...
Something I refused to admit.
After that conversation, neither of us spoke much in class.
The topic eventually faded away, but the words lingered somewhere in the back of my mind.
However, while we were heading home, An-An told me one last thing.
"Just think about it."
And honestly?
In this completely unfamiliar country, surrounded by unfamiliar people, I was too exhausted to think about feelings I had never even given myself the chance to experience.
I had come here with a simple goal.
Study for three years.
Build a future.
Then leave.
That was all.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
I didn't want complications.
I didn't want expectations.
And I certainly didn't want my life to start revolving around a man who had done nothing but argue with me since the day I arrived in China.
So I pushed those thoughts away.
Or at least, I tried to.
I hoped that one day all of this would become nothing more than a memory.
Just memories.
Not reality.
Because if it ever became real...
I had a feeling I would spend my entire life revolving around that storm.
Always close enough to feel its presence.
Yet never close enough to be touched by the rain.
Suddenly, I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder.
I turned around.
It was an unfamiliar face.
The man was quite tall—not taller than that grumpy baker—but tall enough. He had sharp yet charming features that immediately made him stand out.
"You live at the Chen family's house, right?" he asked.
I hesitated for a moment. The question was so sudden.
"Ah, yes. And may I know who you are?"
He shrugged lightly.
"Oh, right. I'm Li Minghao. I also study at Tsinghua. You could say I'm from Yuze's class."
He smiled brightly, and dimples appeared on both of his cheeks.
That somehow increased his charm even more.
For a moment, silence settled between us.
A very awkward silence.
Before I could think of something to say, a familiar voice spoke from behind me.
"What are you doing here, Li?"
I turned around.
It was none other than Yuze.
"You got yourself a new tenant and didn't even tell your own best friend," Li Minghao said casually. "So I decided to introduce myself to her."
Yuze looked at him for a second before shifting his gaze toward me.
His expression remained as unreadable as ever.
Then he spoke flatly.
"You make it sound like I adopted her."
Li Minghao immediately burst out laughing.
Meanwhile, I stood there wondering why I had suddenly become the topic of discussion.
"Well, now that we're properly introduced," Li Minghao said, turning back to me, "I should at least get your contact. It would be rude not to."
I blinked.
"Oh."
Before I could even process it, Li Minghao had already pulled out his phone.
I awkwardly reached for mine.
And somehow...
The air around me suddenly felt different.
When I looked up, Yuze was staring at Li Minghao.
Not at me.
At Li Minghao.
"Why?" he asked.
Li Minghao frowned.
"Why what?"
"Why do you need her contact?"
I looked between them.
Li Minghao looked between us.
Then a slow grin appeared on his face.
"Why are you asking?"
"I asked first."
"She's literally your friend."
"And?"
"And nothing."
The grin on Li Minghao's face became even wider.
Oh no.
Whatever was happening right now, I did not like it.
"I think," Li Minghao continued, "that you're being strangely interested in this conversation."
"I think," Yuze replied calmly, "that you're being strangely interested in my tenant."
The moment those words left his mouth, all three of us went silent.
Including Yuze himself.
I stared at him.
Li Minghao stared at him.
Yuze stared at absolutely nothing.
As if he wanted to take those words back.
Slowly.
Very slowly.
Li Minghao turned toward me.
Then back toward Yuze.
Then toward me again.
His eyes practically sparkled.
"Oh." He offered me his phone.
"No?" I said immediately.
"Oh!" He looked at Yuze.
"Li." Yuze glared at him
"Ohhhhh."he again looked at me as the death glare from Yuze scared the shit out of him.
"Stop that."
Li Minghao looked like he had just discovered the meaning of life.
Meanwhile, Yuze's expression was becoming darker by the second.
"You're annoying." Li Minghao said.
"I've been your best friend for seven years," Li Minghao replied proudly. "You should be used to it."
Then, without warning, Li Minghao threw an arm around Yuze's shoulder.
"You know what?"
"What?"
"I like her."
I choked.
Yuze froze.
Li Minghao pointed at me dramatically.
"She's funny."
The silence that followed was terrifying.
Because for the first time since I had met Chen Yuze...
The corner of his eye twitched.
And somehow—
That frightened me more than the flying cockroach.