Chapter 5 – After the Fighting Stops
The medical area was quieter than before, but not quiet.
Moans, hushed conversations, the clink of metal tools. The air still smelled of smoke and blood, but there was a cooler edge to it now, like the fires were finally dying.
I sat on the edge of Ilin's cot, holding her hand. She was asleep, her face pale, her breathing slow and even. The bandage on her arm was clean, but her skin was cool to the touch.
A healer came by, checked Ilin's pulse, and nodded at me. "She's out. She'll need at least a few hours."
I nodded. "Can I stay with her?"
The healer glanced at the cot next to us, empty. "You can use that one."
I moved to the next cot, but I didn't lie down. I kept holding Ilin's hand.
Garrick was on a cot across the aisle, his side re-wrapped. Mara was asleep in the cot beyond him. Finn was sitting on the floor, his head resting against the cot frame, eyes closed.
I was exhausted, my muscles sore, my shoulder and forearm aching even after Ilin's healing. But I couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes I saw the creatures' yellow eyes, the way Ilin had stepped in front of me.
I watched her face in the lantern light. Ash smudged her cheek. A strand of hair stuck to the sweat on her forehead. I brushed it away.
"You're an idiot," I whispered.
She didn't wake.
I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.
A voice came from behind me. "You two are something else."
I turned. Mara was awake, propped up on her elbows, watching us.
"Didn't mean to stare," she said. "Just… you don't see people holding hands in the middle of a war very often."
I didn't know what to say, so I just said, "We're a team."
Mara smiled. "Yeah. You are."
She lay back down and closed her eyes.
A while later, Ilin stirred. Her fingers tightened around mine, and her eyes opened.
"Hey," she said, voice hoarse.
"Hey," I said.
"How long was I out?"
"Not long," I said. "You need more rest."
"I feel okay," she said, trying to sit up.
"Don't," I said, gently pressing her back down. "You used too much energy."
"I know," she said. "I just hate lying here while you're out there."
"I'm right here," I said.
She looked at me, her eyes soft. "I know."
She shifted, moving closer so there was barely any space between our cots.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
"I'm okay," I said. "You're the one who overdid it."
"I couldn't let you get hurt," she said.
"You could've died," I said.
"So could you," she said.
I didn't have an answer for that.
She reached up and touched my cheek. "You're tired."
"So are you," I said.
She smiled. "Yeah."
We were quiet for a moment, just looking at each other.
Then Ilin said, "When this is over, I want to find a quiet place. No fighting. No rift. Just… a quiet place."
"I want that too," I said.
"And I want to actually eat something that isn't a ration bar," she added, and I laughed.
"Me too," I said.
She squeezed my hand. "And I want to see you smile without blood on your face."
I smiled. "You'll see it."
She smiled back.
The healer came by again, this time with two cups of water. She handed one to each of us.
"Drink," she said. "Both of you."
We drank.
After the healer left, Ilin said, "I'm scared."
"I am too," I said.
"Not of the creatures," she said. "Of losing you."
"You're not going to lose me," I said.
"How can you be sure?" she asked.
"I'm not," I said. "But I'm not going anywhere."
She nodded, her eyes glistening.
I moved from my cot to hers, sitting on the edge beside her. She shifted so I could sit without pressing on her arm.
I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, careful of her injury. She rested her head against my chest.
We stayed like that, listening to the sounds of the camp.
After a while, Ilin said, "Tell me something good. Anything."
I thought for a second. "When I was a kid, I used to climb the water tower at the factory. I could see the whole city from up there."
"What did it look like?" she asked.
"Like lights. Everywhere. It looked peaceful."
She smiled. "I'd like to see that."
"You will," I said.
She was quiet for a minute, then said, "Tell me about your family."
"There isn't much to tell," I said. "My parents died when I was 17. I've been on my own since then. Worked at the factory."
"I'm sorry," she said.
"It's okay," I said. "What about you?"
"My parents are both healers," she said. "My mother taught me everything I know. My father… he died three years ago, during a outbreak in the north district."
"I'm sorry," I said.
She nodded. "It's why I became a healer. I wanted to save people the way my mother saved him, back then."
"You're good at it," I said.
"Not good enough tonight," she said quietly.
"You saved me," I said. "You saved a lot of people."
She didn't answer.
I stroked her hair. "You're enough."
She closed her eyes. "Stay with me."
"I'm not going anywhere," I said.
We sat in silence for a while.
A soldier came to the entrance of the medical area and called, "Squad 9, status report."
I stood up. "We're here."
He looked at Ilin. "Is she fit?"
"She needs more rest," I said.
The soldier nodded. "Squad 9 is off duty for the next six hours. Get some sleep. You'll be needed again."
"Understood," I said.
The soldier left.
I sat back down on Ilin's cot.
"You heard him," I said. "Six hours."
"Then you should sleep too," she said.
"I will," I said. "After you're asleep."
She smiled. "You're impossible."
"You love it," I said.
She laughed, a soft, tired laugh.
I lay down on the cot beside her, on my side facing her. She turned onto her side to face me.
We were close enough that I could feel her breath.
"I'm glad it's you," she said quietly.
"Me too," I said.
She reached out and brushed her fingers across my cheek.
"I'm glad it's you," she repeated.
I leaned in and kissed her, slow and gentle.
When we pulled back, she rested her forehead against mine.
"Sleep," I said.
"Okay," she said.
We closed our eyes.
I didn't know how long we slept. The sounds of the camp faded, and for a while there was only the rhythm of our breathing, the warmth of her hand in mine.
When I woke, Ilin was still asleep, her head on my arm. The lanterns had been dimmed. The camp was quiet.
I didn't move. I just stayed there, holding her, listening to her breathe.
Outside, the rift still glowed violet in the sky, and the war wasn't over.
But in that moment, in the quiet between battles, it felt like it was just the two of us, and that was enough.