I brewed the coffee with hot water.
I divided the steaming black liquid into a pair of tea cups, then took a small bundle of paper out of the bag I always carried.
When I unfolded the paper I'd twisted up like a braid, a tiny reddish-brown object was revealed.
At first glance, it looked like the rock sugar people usually drop into coffee, but the fact that this wasn't sugar was a secret known only to Eto and me.
Now, I suspected Kuzen had been added to that list too.
"That is...?"
A flicker of interest passed through Kuzen's eyes as he recognized the sugar cube's true nature.
"Yeah. It's 'bone.'"
I answered calmly and dropped the cubes into the coffee one by one. Then I stirred with a teaspoon so they would break down and mix properly.
"It's made by grinding up the bones left behind in a suicide victim's corpse, then hardening them with blood. It works well as a meal substitute when Eto doesn't get the chance to eat meat, like during long trips."
"Was the blood yours?"
"Yeah. I made some with blood taken from an old corpse before, and Eto ended up completely out of it."
Ghouls can't drink human alcohol, but they can still get drunk.
That usually happened when they consumed spoiled blood or meat. Apparently, the process of neutralizing the toxins produced by decay worked similarly to the effects of alcohol.
The memory of Eto, drunk out of her mind, grabbing me and forcibly making me play house as her mother and son was a nightmare I wanted to forget as soon as possible.
Meanwhile, the person involved had no memory of that day and only tilted her head at me in confusion.
"There. It's ready. Try it."
Click. Click.
I set the two finished cups of coffee down in front of Kuzen and Eto.
Kuzen stared at the offered cup for a moment, then gave a dry laugh.
"What a strange feeling. A human making coffee with his own blood right in front of me."
"Really? Is it that unusual? I've been around this side of the world long enough that I wouldn't call it unusual anymore."
Eto, who was used to the coffee I made for her, started drinking at once, and I drank my own cup as well. Naturally, mine didn't have any bone sugar in it.
Watching Eto and me, Kuzen awkwardly took the cup and sipped carefully.
In the cold winter weather, the three of us let out satisfied sighs over a cup of coffee warming our frozen bodies.
"By some coincidence, I was planning to open a coffee shop myself."
"Oh?"
I responded to Kuzen's words after taking a sip.
I imagined it for a moment: Kuzen brewing coffee in a shop tucked away on some street corner.
His hair had gone a little gray, and he had more wrinkles than before, but he'd always been the type who looked good in a suit, so a uniform would probably suit him too.
An elderly gentleman personally serving coffee like that...
"That actually sounds pretty nice."
"Does it? I'm glad. It's something I've dreamed of since I was with Ukina."
"With my mother?"
Eto, who had been savoring the taste of the coffee, reacted at once.
Unlike Kuzen, whom I heard about from time to time, I'd barely had any contact with Ukina, so I had nothing to add.
Eto must have been curious too. About her mother.
"Can you tell me about my mother?"
"..."
To tell his daughter about the mother she had never met.
It was a perfectly normal request, with nothing strange about it.
And yet, for some reason, Kuzen fell silent.
For just a brief moment, a shadow of sorrow and pain crossed his face.
Come to think of it, I didn't know how Ukina had died. All I knew was that she'd lost her life after becoming involved with the organization Kuzen belonged to...
Was there some circumstance that made it hard to tell Eto or me?
Just as that question crossed my mind, Kuzen reached into his coat and took something out.
"I think... it would be better if you heard that story directly from her."
What he held out was an old, worn notebook.
When I saw a familiar name written in one corner of the cover, I asked in surprise, "Is that Ukina's notebook?"
"Yes... It's her keepsake. I originally meant to give it to Eto and leave it in your care, but circumstances became urgent, so I never got the chance to pass it on."
With that, Kuzen handed Ukina's notebook to her daughter, Eto.
"I think it would be better if you kept it."
"..."
Eto accepted the notebook without a word.
Her mother's notebook...
There was no way a person who had died long ago could leave behind a physical trace, and yet Eto seemed to feel something as she kept stroking the surface over and over.
"Then I'll be going."
"What? Already?"
At that, Eto and I both looked up from the notebook to Kuzen in surprise.
He had already drained the coffee I'd given him and was putting on his fedora.
"Why don't you stay a little longer?"
"No. You're still unfamiliar with each other, so there's no need to force the distance closed. The shop I mentioned before will be opening soon, so let's meet again then."
Kuzen smiled gently and lowered the brim of his hat over his eyes.
As if he still had plenty of things left to do, he quickly left the shop.
But for some reason... to me, he looked like someone retreating because he could no longer bear the pain.
Eto seemed to feel the same way, staring blankly at Kuzen's departing figure.
***
After that reunion with Kuzen, we went back home.
Neither Eto nor I said anything on the way back.
The father she had only known by name had returned, and she had also received the notebook her mother left behind.
As she had said, parents meant a great deal to a child, so Eto would need time to process all of this.
The moment we got home, Eto silently opened Ukina's notebook and started reading.
Even after going back to her room and taking off her outer clothes, she never let go of the notebook—not even during dinner.
It was rude, but I decided to let it slide just for today.
She was probably following the traces of her mother left in those pages.
And so night fell.
"Eto. I'm done with my shower, so you should hurry and wash up too..."
As I came into the living room, drying my still-damp hair with a towel, I froze.
Tears were streaming down Eto's face as she sat alone in the living room, reading the notebook.
"Eto! What's wrong!?"
"..."
Eto silently wiped away the tears running from her eyes.
Then she closed the notebook and spoke.
"Ukina... my mother seems to have been a journalist."
"A journalist? Come to think of it, I think I heard her say something like that when I was little..."
"This is a notebook where she recorded how, while investigating Ghouls, she sensed a suspicious force behind them and kept searching for the truth. And the Ghoul she discovered in the process was Kuzen."
"...!!"
All I knew was that the two had been lovers; I had no idea how they met, so this was shocking.
No, wait. Then what? Was Ukina... from the beginning...?
"Yes. She approached Kuzen on purpose in order to uncover information about the organization."
As if reading my thoughts, Eto nodded.
Seeing my stunned expression, she gave a bitter smile, then shook her head and opened the notebook again.
"But Dad, please believe me. She definitely... loved Kuzen."
As Eto turned the pages, the words Ukina had left behind passed by.
They were exactly what you'd expect from a journalist's notebook.
She had sensed something was off, tried to infer the truth behind the incident, and written that she needed to dig into certain places to find out what was going on. The notes made it clear she had approached the matter with great seriousness.
But after she met Kuzen, the contents began to change.
In a notebook that had once been meant to record only accurate information and facts, "emotion" began to seep in.
It started with her lamenting that the person she had approached, thinking he was connected to the organization, was actually illiterate and therefore difficult to get information from. Then came her delight at teaching him to read and watching him learn quickly, followed by the unusual and amusing things that happened during their meetings...
Her desire to know about the organization had, before she knew it, shifted into a desire to know Kuzen.
From that point on, the notebook was practically her diary.
Following the pages she flipped through so quickly, Ukina's time also passed in a blur.
And then it stopped at one point.
The final page read:
I suppose I'll be dead soon.
"...!"
It was written by Ukina, who had realized she had become too deeply involved with the organization and Kuzen.
And with that, the notebook's contents ended. As if the grim expectations she had written down had become reality.
"The one who killed my mother... was Kuzen."
"...! What?"
I looked at Eto in shock.
"It doesn't explicitly say she was killed by Kuzen. But you can infer it. She wrote that if she disappeared from the picture, Kuzen might survive. A man from the organization who became deeply involved with a woman trying to dig into it... There's only one way I can think of for that man to prove his loyalty to the organization and survive..."
Kuzen's expression from earlier came back to me—painful, sorrowful.
No way. Could it really be? Did he... kill Ukina with his own hands?
"Dad."
At the voice calling me, I turned back to her.
Fresh tears had begun to spill down Eto's face again.
"Was I... born without being loved?"
"...!"
As if unable to bear the weight of her tears, Eto lowered her head.
"Mother may have grown fond of Kuzen, but that only happened during the process of investigating the organization. She may not have wanted to have me at all. Kuzen killed my mother too. Maybe he didn't love her as much as she loved him? Then I..."
Smack!
"...!"
Lowering my head, I gave the top of Eto's exposed scalp a crisp flick.
The damage came right back to me, but so what?
Stopping this idiot's rotten thoughts came first.
"Born without being loved? Are you kidding me? There's no way that's true!"
Rubbing the spot I'd hit, Eto looked at me in surprise as I declared it boldly.
"Do you know how a ghoul and a human child are conceived? It doesn't just happen! The fetus has to be supplied with nutrients! And what are a ghoul's nutrients? You know perfectly well!"
"...!"
"Do you think someone would go that far for a child that happened to be conceived while pursuing some goal? I couldn't do it either! Of course, if it were for you, I'd do anything! But at the very least, I'd be unable to touch meat for the next few years!"
Ukina didn't love Eto?
Absolutely not. Because she did love her, she tried so desperately to protect her! She even hid Eto's existence without mentioning the baby once in that notebook!
That's why Eto ended up doubting her mother's love in the first place, but still! Couldn't she have written it with a little more feeling, journalist?
"And Kuzen too! Kill Ukina just to survive the organization? No way! He did it to hide you! If the organization found out, you'd be eliminated for sure! And after they discovered it, he left you in my care and spent all that time alone holding back their killing intent! If he didn't love you, then what was that? Was he some kind of extreme masochist or something!!"
Thump!
Grabbing both of Eto's shoulders, I spoke clearly so she would understand.
"And now I've inherited the love and sacrifice of those two parents! You are not a child who was born unloved! Just like your name, Eto! All that love is supporting you..."
Thud!
I couldn't say anything more.
With a blow to my stomach, I couldn't stop my body from toppling backward.
Eto had rushed at me and wrapped her arms around my waist.
"It's okay now... You don't have to say any more... I made a foolish misunderstanding..."
The anxiety that had been in her voice just moments ago was gone.
But perhaps she still couldn't hold back her tears, because the place where she buried her face grew damp. Still, the meaning had clearly changed, so I quietly patted her back.
Honestly, this father and daughter pair has communication problems, and so do mother and daughter. If Ukina was going to hide Eto's existence on purpose, couldn't she have written it in a way that avoided this kind of misunderstanding?
Hm...?
Half glaring at the notebook, I happened to stop on a corner of the open page that caught my eye.
Organization name: V
...What's that? For some reason, it's bothering me.
No. Let's not dig into it for no reason.
Eto's biological parents ended up ruined because of that, and I can't go down the same road.
...Still, wouldn't it be better to know in advance and prepare? I should check it secretly later.
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