Jay-Jay (POV)
When I woke up…
Only Kiefer was beside me.
He was sitting on the chair near the bed, his head resting beside my hand while his eyes stayed closed in sleep. One of his hands was still holding mine tightly, like even unconscious he was scared I would disappear again.
Slowly, I brushed my fingers through his hair.
He was okay.
Hmm…
Good.
The moment my fingers touched him, his eyes opened immediately.
Like he had trained himself to wake up for me.
"Are you okay?" he asked instantly.
His voice sounded rough and tired.
I nodded slowly.
The tension in his shoulders loosened immediately after seeing me awake.
Relief.
Pure relief.
"Kiefer…" I called softly.
"Hmm?" He moved closer instantly. "Do you need anything?"
My throat tightened.
Because the first thing my mind searched for wasn't myself.
It was them.
"Where are they?" I asked, my voice breaking as I looked at him.
Kiefer's expression softened immediately.
He knew exactly who I meant.
Instead,saying he carefully lifted me into his arms and carried me down the quiet hospital hallway.
The closer we got, the harder my heart pounded.
And when we entered the room…
I froze.
Clyden's kuya was lying on the hospital bed with an oxygen mask covering his face. His entire body was wrapped in bandages, machines surrounding him while the monitor beeped softly beside him.
Then I looked at Jare.
He was unconscious too.
A thick bandage was wrapped around his head, another around his leg, and he looked so pale it scared me.
Then my eyes moved further.
Angelo kuya had cuts across his face, small bandages covering some of them while a larger one wrapped around his side.
And Cole…
One of his arms was fully bandaged, resting carefully against his chest.
For a second—
I couldn't breathe properly.
Everyone looked broken.
Everyone looked exhausted.
Like nobody had truly rested since everything happened.
"Jay…" Cole Kuya said softly the second he noticed my eyes open.
Immediately, Angelo kuya, Aries, and Percy looked toward me too.
Cole carefully leaned down and kissed my forehead gently, like he was reassuring himself I was really awake.
"Do you still hurt anywhere?" Angelo kuya asked quietly.
I slowly shook my head.
Before anyone else could speak—
"Did you miss my handsome face, baby sis?" Percy asked dramatically from his wheelchair.
Despite everything…
A small smile escaped me.
"Hmm… so much."
"See?" Percy said proudly. "She loves me most."
Aries looked disgusted immediately.
"You really can't stop making us worried about you, huh?" Aries muttered quietly.
There was no anger in his voice.
Only exhaustion.
Fear.
Like he was still trying to recover from the moment he thought he might lose me.
I looked at him silently for a second before lowering my eyes.
"I'm sorry…" I whispered.
Immediately, Aries sighed and leaned back carefully in his wheelchair.
"See?" Percy said dramatically. "Now you made her apologize. Villain behavior."
He pointed accusingly at Aries from his wheelchair.
"Can't you say something normal like, 'I was worried about you, my baby sis'?"
"I wasn't blaming her," Aries shot back instantly.
Then he glared at Percy.
"And stop calling her 'baby' with that tone."
Percy blinked innocently.
"Hmm okay," he said while reaching over dramatically to touch Aries' hair. "Don't feel jealous about that, baby."
"Stop calling me that," Aries snapped instantly.
"Okay, baby."
"Percy—"
For the first time since waking up…
The room felt almost normal again.
Almost.
Then my eyes slowly moved past them.
Toward the empty space where two people should've been.
My chest tightened immediately.
I looked at Kiefer.
"Kiefer…" I whispered weakly. "Please… take me to them."
The small smiles in the room disappeared instantly.
Without a word, he carefully lifted me and brought me beside Clyden's kuya.
My hands were trembling so badly I could barely move them, but I still reached out… carefully holding both of their hands, terrified they would disappear if I let go.
When I held Kuya's hand, it was warm.
That warmth…
It felt like every moment he used to tease me, pinch my cheeks, or throw me onto his back while laughing. It wasn't cold anymore.
And somehow, that tiny warmth felt more real than any words telling me he was alive.
I tightened my fingers around his hand carefully, scared that if I loosened my grip even a little, I would lose him again.
Then I looked at Jare.
My chest hurt even more.
He always teased me endlessly, calling me annoying just to see me get mad… but whenever someone looked down on me or tried to hurt me, he was always the first person to stand in front of me.
Always.
Even when he got himself hurt.
My fingers shook harder as I held his hand, too.
I was terrified.
Terrified of losing them.
But…
I didn't cry.
I couldn't.
Not anymore.
Because deep inside, I felt like everything had happened because of me.
Because I insisted on going to that party.
Because I provoked the Elder.
Because I was too weak.
And because everyone got dragged into my mess.
The guilt sat inside my chest so heavily that I could barely breathe.
But I stayed quiet.
Because I didn't want to break down in front of them.
And because now… I wasn't the only one hurting anymore.
My hand slowly moved to my stomach.
Our baby.
The thought alone made my chest tighten.
If I got too stressed…
The baby would feel it too.
And Kiefer—
Kiefer was already worrying more about the baby than himself.
Even now, while he was still recovering from his own injuries, his entire focus stayed on me.
On us.
I looked at him properly for the first time since waking up.
His eyes looked tired.
Red from lack of sleep.
The bandages on his body were still there, and yet he kept moving around like his pain didn't matter.
Because he was too busy making sure I was okay.
My throat tightened painfully.
He looked exhausted…
But the moment I opened my eyes earlier, relief had immediately replaced everything else on his face.
Like nothing hurt him more than seeing me unconscious.
And somehow…
That only made the guilt inside me worse.
Everyone was already suffering because of me.
I didn't want to become another problem they had to worry about.
So I swallowed every sob painfully and forced myself to stay strong… even while my entire body trembled with fear.
Kiefer noticed it.
He always does.
Even when I try to hide everything behind silence, he still sees through me, as my pain belongs to him too.
But he didn't say anything.
He simply leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against my forehead, his hand gently rubbing my shoulder as if he were trying to hold me together without using words.
That alone almost broke me.
Cole and Angelo came closer after that, wrapping their arms around me carefully.
"Everything's okay now," Cole whispered.
"They're safe. Everyone's alive, so stop worrying too much," Angelo added, trying to sound calm even though his eyes were still tired from everything that happened.
I didn't answer them.
I just nodded quietly at everything they said.
Agreed to everything.
Pretended I was okay enough for them to stop worrying.
But because I lost too much blood, my body felt weak and heavy. Even breathing properly made me tired.
Kiefer looked at me worriedly.
"Jay… we can go home if you're exhausted," he said softly. "You need rest, too."
But I immediately shook my head.
"No… I'm staying here."
He looked at me silently.
"I need to stay with them," I whispered weakly. "If I go home… and can't see them… it'll hurt even more."
Kiefer's expression softened painfully, like he understood exactly what I meant.
So he didn't force me.
He just stayed beside me quietly.
One of his hands still held mine gently, his thumb rubbing softly against my skin like he was reassuring himself I was really awake.
He didn't pressure me to talk.
Didn't ask questions.
He just stayed there beside me silently.
Meanwhile—
Chaos was happening on the other side of the room.
Percy was aggressively rolling his wheelchair around like it was a race car while chasing Aries across the room.
"Come here, baby!" Percy shouted dramatically.
"I will throw this IV stand at you!" Aries snapped while trying to push his wheelchair away faster.
Percy somehow caught up beside him and leaned over dramatically trying to kiss his cheek.
Aries immediately shoved his face away in horror.
"GET AWAY FROM ME!"
Their arguing filled the room again, making Angelo laugh while Cole looked seconds away from throwing something at them.
For a moment…
Everything almost felt normal again.
Like maybe things would slowly become okay.
Like maybe we survived the worst already.
After some time, they moved me into a my room so I could rest properly.
Kiefer stayed beside me the entire time, holding my hand carefully like he was afraid I would disappear the second he let go.
Then Cassian came.
The moment Kiefer saw him standing near the door, the atmosphere changed immediately.
His hand around mine tightened.
"Why are you here?" Kiefer asked coldly.
Cassian looked straight at me instead. "I need to talk to you ,jay."
The way Kiefer glared at him…
Honestly, it looked like he was already imagining ten different ways to kill him.
And judging from the murderous look in his eyes, Cassian was lucky we were inside a hospital.
But I stopped Kiefer before things could turn into another fight.
"It's okay," I said softly. "I also have somthing I need to say to him."
Kiefer looked at me like he hated the idea.
Because deep down, he probably did.
Still, after a few seconds, he exhaled sharply and stepped outside, though his eyes never left Cassian for even a second.
It honestly felt less like Kiefer was leaving…
And more than that…
Kiefer looked like a man temporarily releasing a patient under observation.
Like he was forcing himself to leave only because I asked him to.
The second the door closed, Cassian looked at me seriously.
"Thanks for yesterday," I said softly. "Because of you, we reached the hospital in time."
"It's my pleasure," he replied calmly.
Then silence filled the room for a moment.
"So," I asked quietly, "what do you want to talk about?"
He took a slow breath before finally speaking.
"I'll be honest with you."
The serious look on his face almost made me nervous for a second.
Then he opened his mouth—
And said something that nearly made me kick him directly in the face.
"You won't ever truly be safe beside Kiefer," he said calmly. "Leave with me. I can protect you."
…
Was he insane?
Did he hit his head while I was driving yesterday?
I stared at him for a few seconds before letting out a small disbelieving laugh.
"Sorry," I said slowly. "What exactly did you just say?"
"I'm asking you to come with me to Singapore," he replied evenly. "I can give you a better life than this. Peace. Safety. Happiness."
I looked at him blankly.
Actually blankly.
"Who said I wasn't happy with my husband?" I asked coldly.
Because at that point, I was still trying very hard to stay polite.
He didn't look away.
"You almost died yesterday because you married Kiefer," he said calmly. "That life will follow you forever. If you divorce him and come with me instead—"
I continued staring at him like my brain was struggling to process the level of confidence sitting in front of me.
"You can have everything you want," he continued. "No fear. No blood. No running."
Then he added—
"I'd treat you like a princess."
That almost ended me.
Because the confidence this man had was actually unbelievable.
A princess?
My husband already treated me like a queen.
Cassian couldn't even compare himself to Kiefer.
I stared at him for a second before leaning back slightly against the bed.
"I'm only listening to you because you helped me save Clyden," I said quietly. "Otherwise, I would've already thrown you out."
For one second…
One second…
I genuinely wanted to punch him.
The only reason I didn't was that he helped save Clyden's kuya.
Because he stayed there last night too.
Because despite everything, he still helped us.
But how dare he compare himself to Kiefer?
How dare he stand there and act like he could replace my Kiefer?
If Kiefer heard every word coming out of his mouth right now, Cassian would already be buried six feet underground.
And the worst part?
The absolute worst part…
Was it because some of his words sounded exactly like the doubts already hiding inside my own head?
Maybe.
But even then…
They still weren't enough to shake me.
"I knew before marrying Kiefer that one day death might come for us," I said quietly.
My voice didn't tremble this time.
Because every single word coming out of my mouth was true.
"And I still chose him."
Cassian stayed silent, watching me carefully.
"I knew there would be danger," I continued softly. "I knew life with him wouldn't be peaceful."
Memories flashed through my mind.
Gunshots.
Blood.
Fear.
The way my heart stopped seeing Kiefer hurt.
The way I thought I lost Clyden.
Jare lying unconscious.
And yet—
Even after all that…
I still didn't regret choosing him.
Because long before I became Mrs. Kiefer Watson…
I had already made peace with what loving him meant.
"But I also knew he'd stand beside me until the end."
My fingers tightened slightly around the blanket.
"You understand what I mean, right?"
I looked directly into Cassian's eyes.
"I would rather die as Kiefer Watson's wife… than live safely with someone else."
The room became completely silent after that.
Because those weren't dramatic words to me.
They were the truth.
The day I ran to Kiefer and asked him to marry me…
I already knew peace might disappear from my life the moment I stepped into his world.
And still—
I didn't hesitate.
Not even for a second.
Because I knew something Cassian would never understand.
Even if life became hell…
If Kiefer was beside me—
He could still turn it into heaven.
That's the kind of man my husband is.
Cassian stayed quiet for a few seconds before finally asking,
"What does he have that I don't?"
I frowned slightly.
"I have money. Power. Influence," he continued calmly. "And I could love you just as—"
"Don't."
I cut him off instantly.
The air in the room turned cold.
"Don't even finish that sentence," I said quietly.
My voice wasn't loud.
But it carried enough warning to stop him completely.
"And don't compare my husband to yourself."
For the first time since this conversation started, something in Cassian's expression shifted slightly.
Still…
I didn't care.
Because I was getting tired of people thinking Kiefer could be replaced so easily.
"I don't even know you," I continued quietly. "You saw me for what? Two days?"
I let out a disbelieving breath.
"You created some fantasy in your head and started calling it love."
Silence filled the room again.
Then I looked down at my hands before speaking softer this time.
"He's not just my husband."
My chest tightened slightly.
"He's my world… my home."
Cassian watched me carefully, but I barely noticed anymore.
He became the first place where I could be completely vulnerable,Messy. Emotional. Broken And still he stayed with me.
Because people loved easy versions of others.
Happy versions.
Strong versions.
But Kiefer—
Kiefer stayed even when I was at my worst and he was also the first person who stayed beside me when I was completely broken
I don't like hearing people talk like they can take his place that easily,Because nobody can do that..It had to be him and only him.
For a moment, Cassian stayed silent.
Then he looked at me carefully and said,
"But you forgot that world for four years."
The words hit harder than I expected.
Slowly, I looked at him.
"So you searched my records."
It wasn't really a question anymore.
I already knew he had looked into my past.
He didn't deny it.
And honestly…
A part of me understood why he brought it up.
Because he thought forgetting Kiefer meant my love wasn't real enough.
But he was wrong.
"Yes," I admitted softly. "I forgot him."
My chest tightened painfully after saying it aloud.
Because if I hadn't forgotten him…
Maybe Kiefer and I would've already spent four more years together.
Maybe we would've dated.
Maybe we would've built memories that were stolen from us.
Sometimes thinking about those lost years still hurt.
I missed time that I couldn't even remember.
But even then…
I slowly looked at Cassian and said quietly,
"But I never let go of him."
He frowned slightly like he couldn't understand that feeling.
How could he?
Even when I was living in New York surrounded by everything people called a perfect life—
Something inside me always felt incomplete.
"The life you're talking about?" I asked softly. "I already had it."
I leaned back slightly against the bed.
"I had money. Peace. Family. Stability."
And it was true.
"I was happy," I admitted honestly.
But only partially.
Because deep inside…
It always felt like a piece of me was missing.
And that missing piece was Kiefer.
Then one day—
I found him again.
A faint smile slowly appeared on my face despite the heaviness in my chest.
"But these last five months with him as his wife…"
I breathed out softly.
"For the first time in years, I felt like I was actually breathing."
Cassian stayed quiet while listening.
"Living beside Kiefer isn't peaceful," I continued with a faint smile. "It's messy, loud, dangerous sometimes…"
Memories flashed through my mind instantly.
His teasing.
His overprotectiveness.
The way he panicked over me.
The way he held me like I was precious.
The way he loved me like he was trying to make up for four lost years.
"But it's real."
That mattered more than peace ever could.
"For me…" I whispered softly, "he's the kind of person I'd trade my life for without even thinking twice."
And the scariest part?
I meant it completely.
The way Kiefer stayed beside me…
The way he loved me endlessly without making me beg for it…
"Then what about your family?" he asked quietly.
My expression changed instantly.
"You almost lost your brothers yesterday."
The room suddenly felt colder.
"You're lucky everyone survived."
My fingers slowly tightened around the blanket.
"But what happens next time?"
That was it.
My mind went completely blank after that.
I barely even heard the rest of what he was saying.
Because deep down…
I already knew.
I knew every word he said was possible.
And that terrified me.
The guilt I had been trying so hard to hide suddenly clawed its way back to the surface.
Images flashed through my head instantly.
Clyden covered in blood.
Jare unconscious.
Kiefer injured.
Everyone hurt because of me.
Because they stayed beside me.
My breathing became uneven.
I hated this feeling.
Hated how one sentence could destroy the fragile control I had been holding onto since yesterday.
Because the truth was—
I had already been asking myself those same questions.
What if next time someone dies?
What if next time Kiefer can't save everyone?
What if loving me really does destroy the people I love?
My throat tightened painfully.
And suddenly…
I couldn't even look at Cassian anymore.
Because I was scared he could already see the answer written all over my face.
The fear that everyone around me would keep getting hurt because of me.
The fear was that staying beside Kiefer only brought danger into his life.
I hated that.
I hated that his words reached the parts of me I tried so hard to silence.
And maybe that was why I stopped arguing.
Not because I was considering him.
Never that.
But because I already knew what he wanted.
He wanted me to doubt Kiefer.
To fear loving him.
To eventually choose him instead.
And I couldn't let that happen.
Because no matter what happened in this life—
I only wanted to live as Kiefer Watson's woman.
And die as his wife.
Maybe people would call it obsession.
Maybe selfishness.
Maybe even madness.
I didn't care anymore.
Because after losing him once for four years…
I knew one thing clearly.
I couldn't survive losing him again.
The door opened quietly a few minutes later.
Kiefer walked back inside immediately, his eyes searching my face first before anything else.
"Everything okay?" he asked softly.
I looked at him for a second.
At the exhaustion in his eyes.
The worry.
The way he still came to me first even while injured himself.
And suddenly Cassian's words meant absolutely nothing.
So I nodded quietly.
Because I wasn't leaving Kiefer.
Not in this life.
Not in any life.
Without thinking, I reached for him and wrapped my arms around him tightly.
Kiefer froze for half a second before hugging me back immediately.
He didn't ask questions.
Didn't pressure me.
He just held me silently like he understood I was trying very hard not to fall apart again.
And honestly…
That alone almost made me cry.
Because if I let fear control me now—
It would feel too much like losing him all over again.
Like those empty four years where something inside me kept searching for him even when my memories couldn't.
So instead…
I buried my face against his chest and stayed there quietly while he held me.
Listening to his heartbeat.
Feeling his warmth.
Reminding myself he was still here.
That he was alive.
That I hadn't lost him.
And somewhere between his arms around me and the exhaustion finally catching up to my body…
I managed to escape my own thoughts for a little while too.
And somehow…
I actually fell asleep.
When I opened my eyes again, the room was quiet.
Kiefer was beside me.
No—
I was in Kiefer's arms.
He was holding me carefully against his chest even while asleep, as his body moved toward me naturally without him realizing it.
My chest tightened painfully.
Slowly, I reached up and touched his face gently.
Even exhausted, he still looked worried.
Like he couldn't relax completely unless he knew I was safe.
I leaned forward softly and kissed his forehead.
Then I carefully slipped out of his arms and walked outside the room.
And the second I stepped out…
I froze.
Angelo and Cole were busy working on their laptops while arguing about something serious.
Percy and Aries, on the other hand, were practically yelling at each other across the hallway.
"You're eating junk food while you're on medication?" Aries stared at Percy in disbelief.
Percy paused dramatically mid-bite with the chips packet in his hand.
Then he blinked innocently.
"Tell me if you want some," he said casually. "Why are you getting jealous? Do you want chips too, baby?"
"Abolutely not!" Aries snapped instantly.
Percy gasped like he'd been emotionally attacked.
"Baby, don't raise your voice at me."
"STOP CALLING ME BABY!"
I almost smiled.
Because somehow…
That chaos felt normal.
It felt safe.
It felt like home.
Like our usual messy, loud, ridiculous life
And for the first time after everything that happened…
I realized how badly I wanted to protect this feeling forever.
Maybe that was why my feet brought me to the doctor's office without me even realizing it.
I needed to know.
No matter how painful it was.
The doctor looked surprised when he saw me standing near the door.
"Miss, why are you here? You should be resting," he said gently.
I held onto the edge of the table to steady myself.
"I want to know what happened to my brothers," I whispered. "How badly were they injured?"
The doctor immediately looked hesitant.
His expression alone scared me.
"Please," I begged softly. "I want to know the truth. I'll be okay."
Even though deep inside…
I already knew I wouldn't be.
He sighed quietly before finally speaking.
"Angelo and Cole only suffered minor injuries," he started carefully. "They'll recover completely."
I nodded slowly.
Then his expression became more serious.
"Percy…" he paused. "When he arrived here, he temporarily lost movement because of spinal shock."
My breathing stopped.
"What?"
"He had a major accident eight years ago," the doctor explained gently. "His spine was already weak from the previous injury. Driving under that condition today placed severe stress on it."
I stared at him silently.
"He's stable now," the doctor reassured me quickly. "But if he experiences another severe injury in the future… there's a possibility he could become permanently paralyzed."
I felt my chest tighten painfully.
But the doctor continued.
"Jare lost a dangerous amount of blood. His body went into shock, and he fell into a coma for nearly three hours before stabilizing."
My fingers started trembling.
"And Kiefer," he said, "was shot, but thankfully the bullet didn't go deep enough to damage anything critical."
I closed my eyes briefly.
But before I could even breathe properly again—
"Aries inhaled too much smoke during the fire," the doctor continued softly. "Because of his previous lung condition, the damage affected him more severely. His lungs were already weak."
I looked up immediately.
"He's stable now," the doctor added quickly, "but he's having difficulty breathing and will need proper recovery."
I nodded slowly.
Again.
And again.
Like my body understood the words even when my mind couldn't process them anymore.
Then I walked out of the office.
No—
I barely made it out.
The second the door closed behind me, my legs gave up completely.
I slid down against the wall onto the floor, covering my mouth immediately to stop the sound of my sobs from escaping.
Because I didn't want anyone to hear me.
Didn't want anyone to worry again.
I cried silently, shaking so hard it hurt.
My chest felt tight—too tight—like something inside me was crushing my heart alive.
So I started hitting my chest weakly with my fist, desperate to make the pain easier somehow.
Like maybe if I hit hard enough…
The guilt would disappear, too.
Tears blurred my vision as I rubbed them away quickly and desperately, trying to stop crying before someone saw me.
But the more I wiped them away…
The more they fell.
And for the first time since the accident…
I finally realized how close I came to losing every single person I loved.
My legs moved on their own after that.
Before I realized it, I was already standing outside Clyden's and Jare's room again.
The machines beeped softly inside the quiet room while both of them lay there motionless, covered in bandages and wires that made my chest ache all over again.
Slowly, I walked toward them.
Then I held their hands.
And the second, I felt their warmth again…
I broke.
"I'm sorry…" I whispered shakily before my voice completely cracked.
Tears fell nonstop onto our hands as I cried harder and harder.
"It's all my fault…"
They couldn't hear me.
Or maybe they could.
I didn't know anymore.
But for the first time, I stopped holding everything back.
"If I didn't exist… none of this would've happened," I sobbed quietly. "You wouldn't be lying here like this…"
My shoulders shook violently as I lowered my head beside their hands.
"You almost died because of me…"
The guilt inside me became unbearable now that I knew everything they went through.
Percy is almost losing the ability to walk again.
Jare is falling into a coma.
Aries is struggling to breathe.
Kiefer is getting shot.
And Angelo kuya and Clyden's kuya is fighting for his life.
All because they tried to protect me.
I cried like a child who had finally reached my limit.
Not quietly.
Not gracefully.
I completely broke.
"It's my fault…" I whispered shakily.
My fingers tightened desperately around clyden kuya and Jare kuya hands..
Because even after hearing everything Cassian said…
Even after questioning myself over and over again…
I still couldn't let go.
Maybe that made me selfish.
But I didn't care anymore.
Because I loved them.
Every single one of them.
And the thought of losing even one person from this family felt like someone was tearing my heart apart with their bare hands.
"I should've protected you…" I whispered through broken sobs. "I should've done something…"
Then suddenly—
Warm arms wrapped around me from behind.
Kiefer.
The moment he pulled me against his chest, I completely shattered.
"It's not your fault," he whispered firmly near my ear.
But I shook my head immediately.
He held me tighter.
"I almost lost them…" I repeated again helplessly, like saying it out loud made it more real. "Kiefer… I almost lost them…"
His hand moved gently through my hair while he held me against him carefully, like he was trying to protect every broken part of me at once.
And somewhere between crying into his chest…
Somewhere between his heartbeat and his arms around me…
My body finally gave up from exhaustion.
I don't even remember when I fell asleep.