Chapter 67: Oseong Daegam [2] Hang-bok did not open his mouth until the point when neither Ryu Seong-ryong, Yi Sun-sin, nor the other servants were anywhere in sight.
The way he kept glancing around in every direction made it seem certain he was about to bring up something he could not say openly.
Kanghyeok's suspicion soon turned into certainty.
So this man is another Viagra case too.
Why did every person he met in Joseon seem to have some kind of problem below the waist?
Kanghyeok found himself once again admiring the director's foresight in packing Viagra for him.
But what Hang-bok said turned out to be somewhat unexpected.
First of all, Hang-bok was not the patient.
"Do you remember what I said earlier about my wife?"
He had openly made fun of his wife. If Kanghyeok forgot that, could he even be called human?
Besides, Kanghyeok was a man with exceptionally sharp memory.
Something like that was not the sort of thing that would fade just because he had been drinking.
"I remember."
"That wasn't entirely a joke."
"Pardon? What do you mean by that?"
He was not an easy person to get a handle on.
One moment he was tossing out idle jokes, then grasping the international situation, and now he was back to talking about his wife's face.
I once heard that people who are too intelligent tend to have conversations that jump all over the place.
He had not read that anywhere or studied it. It was just something a psychiatrist friend had told him over drinks once.
At the time, he had thought it was nonsense.
Now it seemed it had not been complete nonsense after all.
Because he had found a perfect example right here.
"I mean, my wife looks far too much like my father-in-law."
"Ah, yes."
Since he did not know Kwon Yul's face, he could not even relate halfway.
Still, when he thought back to the professors he had been close to at the hospital, he could understand the feeling.
The director's daughter looked exactly like the director.
It was not even quite a matter of being pretty or ugly.
Of course, she had not been pretty either.
Every time she smiled, he thought of the director, and it had been unbearable.
What if the director came to mind in the middle of making love?
That would have been truly awful.
"You probably can't fully grasp what I mean. But I'm genuinely suffering."
"Yes. I may not understand it completely, but I think I do understand."
"So then, is there any way you could use your medical skill to change her face a little?"
"What?"
What kind of absurd request was this now?
The more he looked at it, the more it seemed Joseon people regarded him as some sort of Doraemon.
To suddenly ask for cosmetic surgery.
No matter how much of a doctor Kanghyeok was, he had never once cut into anyone's face.
"In old medical texts, it does not seem that there were no such cases at all."
"There's something like that in old texts?"
Did that mean they had even done plastic surgery in ancient times?
Without realizing it, Kanghyeok swallowed dryly.
If that were really true, there might even be some lost advanced surgical technique.
"For instance, something like yeokchae byeonhyeong-sul..."
"Ah, so that's what you meant."
To crush his expectations this thoroughly.
Kanghyeok thought of the martial arts novels he had read as a child.
There had been a time when he had read so many that he mocked the saying, A man must read five cartloads of books.
But somehow, those memories had long since been shoved into a corner of the past and forgotten.
Who would have thought he would remember them here?
Hang-bok was not discouraged even by Kanghyeok's lukewarm reaction.
"Even if not something exactly like that, is there no other way?"
"The problem is... changing the shape of a face is truly an extremely difficult operation."
"It doesn't have to be much. If you could just do something about this jaw here, she'd look much better."
"No, even if you say that... surely the patient's wishes are the important thing?"
He could not exactly storm into a noble household and operate the way one would abduct a bride by force.
An unwanted surgery had another name: torture.
He knew that very well, because he had recently done something similar.
Dorikkae and the rest of the bandit gang had been the ones subjected to it.
They had suffered terribly.
At least those had been necessary operations. Otherwise, his guilt would have been even worse than it already was.
"My wife would want it. I guarantee it. Every time she looks in the mirror, she sighs endlessly."
It seemed that, as he spoke, he really was thinking of his wife.
His eyes deepened slightly.
It did not seem that he lacked love for her.
Is he really causing all this just because she reminds him of his father-in-law?
In any case, he was a thoroughly confusing man.
Still, this is Yi Hang-bok we're talking about.
Since a man like this was asking him personally, it would have been discourteous to keep refusing outright.
Besides, Ryu Seong-ryong's hemorrhoids were already completely better now.
As long as he did not do something ignorant like wiping with rice straw again, there would be no recurrence either.
"All right. Then I'll meet her once."
"Really? Good. If it goes well, I'll reward you generously."
"But I can't guarantee the result. As I said earlier..."
"I know, I know. How could changing a person's looks be easy? Altering what heaven has given is an extremely difficult thing for human hands."
"Yes. It's a relief that you understand."
"Even so, I keep feeling that if it's you, somehow you'll manage it."
Hang-bok laughed heartily and went off to the room assigned to him.
In the end, it seemed that his entire errand had really been nothing but his wife's face.
Kanghyeok also let out a low sigh and returned to his quarters.
"Young master, you're only coming in now?"
Yeoni, who had stayed awake waiting for him, greeted him.
Seong-ryong regarded both Yeoni and Yeoju as men.
Naturally, he had only given them two rooms. One for Kanghyeok, and one for everyone else.
But Kanghyeok, who still carried the sensibilities of a modern man, could never tell two men and two women to share one room.
So Kanghyeok, Dolseok, and Makbong took the large room, while Yeoni and Yeoju were given the small one.
That distinction became meaningless not long afterward.
"Why aren't you asleep?"
"We were having a drink among ourselves."
"Among yourselves?"
"Yes."
When he looked into the large room, everyone was thoroughly drunk.
Dolseok must have been teasing Makbong again, because he was caught in a headlock.
Both the one giving it and the one receiving it had their eyes closed.
Judging by the occasional snoring, they had apparently already been asleep for some time.
Are those two close, or do they hate each other?
They always seemed to be bickering, but somehow they always slept stuck together.
Well, except for the nights when Makbong went out for work.
So this one has a hidden drinking habit too.
Yeoju, cheeks flushed red, was still clutching a brush.
She must have fallen asleep while flourishing it boldly.
The painting itself was, as expected, a masterpiece. The problem was that she had done it on the floor and walls instead of on paper.
So she's the most normal one here?
Even Yeoni, who seemed the least far gone, was plainly dead drunk, with her topknot half undone.
"No, really... why do you all drink all the time?"
"You should drink with us too, young master."
"Me? I've had too much already."
He had already known that Sun-sin could drink like a fish.
But after actually drinking with him, it turned out Ryu Seong-ryong was no less formidable.
It was as though he meant to make up for everything he had been unable to eat and drink while suffering from hemorrhoids.
And once the refined man-about-town Yi Hang-bok joined in, it had become almost impossible to stay clearheaded.
Next time, we're doing drinking games or something. If I keep drinking every cup they hand me, I'll die.
On top of that, when he looked at the alcohol Yeoni was offering him, whatever little desire to drink he had left vanished.
Up until just now, he had been drinking the fine liquor Seong-ryong brought out.
He had no desire whatsoever to put that cloudy rice wine in his mouth.
"Oh, come on, don't be like that."
Judging by the slurred way her tongue curled around the words, she really was drunk.
"Hey, hey. You're going to fall over like that."
"Me? I'm perfectly fine."
Yeoni leaped down in one bound and began stepping through taekkyeon footwork.
She seemed to think she was perfectly fine, but she was a complete mess.
At this point, Kanghyeok felt like he could probably beat her too.
"You're not fine at all."
"No, I am. I am."
As he had felt before, she really was the sort who hated losing.
Given that she had survived among men by doing physical work, he could understand it.
Watching her stagger while still trying to step properly somehow made him want to tease her more.
"So it's not true. Right now, you couldn't beat not just a wako, but even me."
"What did you say?"
Yeoni shot back in a fierce voice.
After all, had she not been grinding her teeth and working hard ever since the trouble in Eotan-myeon?
Not only did she keep up her morning exercises every day, but whenever she had the chance, she swung a wooden sword.
"No, I just mean... right now."
"No way. I could beat you."
No matter how little interest Kanghyeok had in martial arts, he was still a man.
The type who watched UFC highlights on the way home from work and, on seeing a jiu-jitsu signboard, thought, Should I try that once?
It was hard not to get irritated when a girl barely the size of a chestnut was making a fuss right in front of him.
And with the alcohol rising high in his system, a kind of courage he had never had before suddenly surged up.
I do work out in the mornings too.
Not very diligently, but still.
Even so, compared to when he first met Heo Jun, he was in no way the same.
"I don't think so."
"Then shall we try it?"
For some reason, the suggestion sounded strangely appealing that night.
Without realizing it, Kanghyeok nodded.
"Let's do it, then."
"Don't regret it."
As it happened, Kanghyeok's quarters felt almost like a separate annex.
There were no servants' quarters nearby either.
No one would come running unless the noise became truly outrageous.
"You'll be the one regretting it."
Kanghyeok also began stepping lightly.
The moment he started, he realized something.
Ah, I'm more drunk than I thought!
His feet would not move the way he wanted at all.
Just as the thought I'm screwed began taking over his entire mind, Yeoni charged.
The odd off-beat rhythm threw off his vision.
"Uh—"
In the instant he hesitated, Yeoni rushed in right up close.
—Swaaak.
Unlike usual, it was not her foot that flew out, but her hand.
"That's cheating! This is taekkyeon!"
"This is drunken boxing."
"Damn it."
In his hurry, he slapped away her right hand, but it seemed that had only been a feint.
Judging by the empty force in his hand, he had hit nothing at all.
Instead, Kanghyeok's own body lurched off balance.
In that instant, Yeoni's left hand struck him squarely in the solar plexus.
"Urk."
Normally, she would have eased her strength before hitting.
It seemed Yeoni really was drunk too.
Or else she had been angrier than he thought.
"Hey..."
Was he not already drunk and stuffed from overeating too?
Almost instantly, the urge to vomit surged up.
"Bleurgh."
"Young master, are you all right?"
"Bleurgh."
"Oh dear."
Only then did Yeoni hurriedly pat his back.
Kanghyeok spent a long while retching in someone else's courtyard.
The more he emptied out what was inside him, the clearer his head became.
Ugh... I really did eat a lot today.
Kanghyeok stared blankly at the result of what he had vomited up.
Because his solar plexus hurt, he had no choice but to stay bent over.
Meat, more meat, and yet another kind of meat.
There were hardly any vegetables to be found, which was probably because Seong-ryong's pent-up resentment toward food had rubbed off on him.
"Are you all right?"
"Do I look all right?"
"Can you stand up?"
"No. It still hurts."
"Then lie down here for a moment."
Yeoni offered him her lap as a pillow.
It struck him that this was a perfect example of inflicting the sickness and then providing the cure.
There was no particular reason to refuse, and he truly wanted to lie down, so he accepted immediately.
"Urgh... I'm dying."
"I'm sorry."
"Yes, you should be sorry for this. No matter what, did you really have to hit me for real?"
"I'll rub it for you a little."
Yeoni placed her hand over Kanghyeok's solar plexus.
It was strange.
That hand was always throwing punches, yet at moments like this it was endlessly gentle.
Of course, Kanghyeok was far too dry a man to sink into sentiment over it.
"You really remembered what I taught you before."
"Hm?"
"The closer something is to the surface, the more sensitive sensation becomes. So when you rub the belly like this, it's very good for making the body forget the pain in the organs."
"Ah, yes..."
At times like this, he really did seem like a man possessed by a ghost that would die if it couldn't keep teaching.
While Yeoni silently rubbed his stomach, Kanghyeok's thoughts wandered in a completely different direction.
It was because his drunkenness had worn off only halfway.
I did say I'd do the surgery while I was drunk, but what am I supposed to do about a jaw? Shave it down? That's ridiculous...
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