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Chapter 385 - Letting Go

The moment the shadow came into contact with Shirou, the image visible to everyone turned completely black.

Or rather, "completely black" was not entirely accurate.

If one looked carefully, it seemed possible to make out vague images buried within the darkness, images that inspired revulsion, nausea, and disgust.

It was obvious that Illya had done something.

"No need to thank me. These scenes are not suitable for younger audiences, so I am not letting you see them."

Feeling everyone's gaze on her, Illya waved her hand casually.

She could block the senses, but things that could leave lasting psychological scars were impossible to completely negate.

The only option was to use a somewhat crude method to stop everyone from seeing things they should not.

"Thanks... Just seeing those blurry shadows was enough to make me feel sick."

After confirming that it was Illya's doing, Exusiai looked genuinely grateful.

She was still young.

She did not want to see something that dark.

This was the kind of darkness that even the halo and wings on her back could not illuminate.

"Are those images being forced directly into Shirou's mind? Is he... alright?"

As someone whose Arts possessed somewhat similar characteristics, Amiya quickly understood Shirou's situation.

Being forcibly flooded with those things could not possibly feel pleasant.

When she used her Arts to convey positive emotions, even an elite operator like Blaze found it uncomfortable.

If Shirou was being bombarded with overwhelming negative emotions instead, his condition was surely much worse.

"I would not say he is completely fine, but the impact is not that significant. Although it sounds rather harsh, Shirou's current mental state is already quite far removed from that of a normal person."

"To put it bluntly, Shirou's personality is already deeply distorted. Something like this is unlikely to affect him very much anymore. If anything, it will probably accelerate his growth."

Seeing that everyone was worried about Shirou's mental well-being, Illya kindly offered an explanation.

Of course, it was only her personal interpretation.

The human heart was not something that could be explained in a few simple sentences.

Even someone like her, who had spent so much time deep within Shirou's consciousness, could not completely understand his thoughts.

Still, making basic predictions was easy enough.

After all, Shirou's behavioral patterns were remarkably straightforward.

"For the current Shirou, the thing that will affect him most is what happened while he was unconscious."

Seeing everyone visibly relax after hearing her explanation, Illya thoughtfully spoiled what was about to happen next.

The moment she said that, the relieved expressions on everyone's faces immediately became tense again.

The darkness persisted for a while before finally disappearing.

When Shirou's consciousness became somewhat clearer, he found himself lying in a rather luxurious room.

His entire body ached.

It felt as though he was about to fall apart.

"He looks fine, though?"

The moment visibility returned, Croissant immediately leaned forward to inspect Shirou on the bed.

If she had been capable of physically interacting with him, she probably would have already pulled away the blanket covering him.

"No. The Command Seal is gone."

As another Command Seal holder, Alina quickly noticed that the seal on Shirou's hand had completely disappeared.

The moment she pointed it out, Shirou noticed it as well.

He simply stared at the back of his hand in silence for a long time.

He knew exactly what losing the Command Seal meant.

It meant he had lost the Holy Grail War.

It meant he no longer had the right to compete against the other Masters and Servants.

Surprisingly, Shirou did not feel much disappointment.

The only thing he regretted was not being able to properly say goodbye to Saber.

After gathering his thoughts, Shirou put on his familiar black-and-white coat, still stained with dirt and blood, and stepped out of the room.

"Oh? So you figured out your situation."

Archer was waiting outside.

With his arms crossed and his back against the wall, he greeted Shirou.

The tone was still irritating.

Yet Shirou could tell that the intense hostility in Archer's eyes had faded considerably.

"You mean Saber being gone, and me no longer being a Master?"

Shirou's voice was unusually calm.

He had only recently experienced those visions and had not fully processed everything yet.

If he had lost Saber before all this...

His reaction would probably have been much more emotional.

"As long as you understand that. There is no longer any reason for you to force yourself into the Holy Grail War."

"Forget all of this and return to your old life."

Archer seemed somewhat surprised by Shirou's composure.

He uncrossed his arms and stood upright, facing him directly.

The tall figure in red looked down at Shirou, waiting for his answer.

Even though Archer already knew what that answer would be, he still wanted to hear it.

"..."

Feeling the pressure emanating from Archer, and hearing once again those words urging him to abandon his ideals, Shirou remained silent for a long time.

Archer's argument made sense.

He had already lost his ticket to the Holy Grail War.

There was no need to force himself to remain involved.

He could return to his ordinary life.

Finish high school peacefully.

Follow the future he had originally planned.

Live out the rest of his life step by step in safety and stability...

Was that really the right choice?

Shirou raised his hand and touched the place where the Command Seal had once been.

And in that moment, he already had his answer.

"The only thing I cannot do is that. At this point, how could I possibly go back to my old life? Even without Saber's help, I can still fight and on that night, I made a promise to Kiritsugu. This is the one thing I will never back down from."

Meeting Archer's gaze directly, Shirou spoke his true thoughts.

Some things cannot simply be undone once you have crossed a certain line.

You cannot just turn around and pretend nothing ever happened.

If he gave up here and now, then he would no longer be Emiya Shirou.

The wish he had held onto amid the flames that day, and the smile Kiritsugu showed after saving him, were the reasons he was standing here now.

More importantly, he had made a promise that night.

He would inherit Kiritsugu's ideal.

He would become an ally of justice.

There was no way he would retreat now.

As for losing Saber and no longer having a Servant, meaning he could no longer participate in the Holy Grail War—

That did not matter at all.

His goal had never been to use the Grail to grant a wish.

His goal was to prevent it from falling into the hands of someone who would misuse it.

Whether Rin obtained the Grail or Illya obtained it made no difference to him.

"...Is that so? Ah... I see now. So that is how it is."

Looking into Shirou's eyes and listening carefully to everything he said, Archer froze for a moment.

Then, as though he had remembered something important, the tension that had always lingered between his brows finally eased.

For some reason, seeing Archer's relaxed expression felt strangely familiar to Shirou.

Yet he could not remember where he had seen it before.

"If that is your decision, then I will not stand in your way anymore. Just do not hold everyone back from now on, Emiya Shirou."

Archer took a deep breath and slowly let it out before speaking.

There was no prejudice in his voice now.

No hostility either.

Only a faint sense of... relief.

"Did Archer finally come to terms with it?"

Viewing the scene from a third-party perspective, Amiya did not fully understand what Archer was thinking.

Still, from his expression and tone alone, she could roughly infer his state of mind.

"Archer forgot his original purpose after years of endless killing. Right now, he has simply remembered why he embraced that ideal in the first place."

"Combined with the urgency of the current situation, Archer chose to set aside his personal feelings."

Illya explained.

"That is very much like Shirou."

The same thought emerged in Exusiai's mind, as well as in the minds of many others.

Compared to himself, Shirou always placed other people first.

Even complete strangers were treated the same way.

To cast aside one's own desires for the sake of others was undeniably admirable.

Many things sounded simple in theory.

Actually making those choices when the time came was much harder.

That was what made ordinary people ordinary.

Both Shirou and Archer, who could so decisively disregard their own interests, were clearly abnormal.

Yet perhaps that was exactly why Shirou was who he was.

Like the sun...

Or perhaps more accurately, like a campfire.

Burning himself away to bring warmth and light to others.

That was why they had all gathered here.

After all, each of them had received Shirou's help and kindness in one way or another.

On the screen, Archer and Shirou continued walking through the corridors of Einzbern Castle, one behind the other.

They occasionally exchanged words.

Most of the time, however, Archer did the talking while Shirou listened.

And most of what Archer said seemed to go right over Shirou's head.

To everyone who understood the relationship between the two, the scene looked remarkably similar to parents lecturing their child about studying hard, otherwise life would become difficult later on.

Grandpa Archer?

No, that did not sound right.

Since it was Shirou...

Maybe Grandma Archer?

The members of Penguin Logistics suddenly found themselves entertaining an extremely disrespectful thought.

Naturally, none of them voiced it aloud.

The Reunion members nearby actually knew Archer.

If Talulah and the others found out what they were thinking, Penguin Logistics might have to give up doing business in Ursus altogether.

"So he is this nagging even when dealing with himself?"

Watching the scene, Talulah was reminded of the terror she felt whenever Archer started lecturing her.

It was not that his concern was unwelcome.

The problem was that he worried too much.

That particular trait caused her endless headaches.

Though she found it troublesome, others in Reunion did not necessarily feel the same way.

Some people genuinely appreciated Archer's advice.

Frostnova and Patriot were among them.

"..."

After hearing Talulah's comment and thinking about Shirou's usual behavior, Amiya reflected for a moment.

Come to think of it, Nameless hardly spoke at all.

Most of the time he simply remained silent.

Yet whenever she or someone else from Rhodes Island encountered a difficult problem, Nameless was always the first person to step forward and deal with it.

"Now that I think about it... Shirou's situation is looking rather bad, is it not?"

Unlike the others, Blaze approached the matter from a practical perspective and carefully considered the challenges Shirou's group would face moving forward.

"Even with Berserker and Illya joining them, losing Saber's Noble Phantasm also means they have lost their strongest weapon against that black ghost, does it not?"

After hearing Blaze's observation, everyone began seriously considering the problem as well.

It should be remembered that Archer had just fired a Broken Phantasm directly at the ghost.

Yet all it accomplished was temporarily slowing the creature down.

As for Berserker, his Noble Phantasm specialized in survival. Fighting the ghost in close combat also carried the risk of being corrupted by it.

All in all, Shirou's side was in a truly unfavorable position.

The enemy was simply too effective against Servants while also possessing enough power to contend with them directly.

How were they even supposed to win this?

"No. The ghost's true identity should be Sakura, right? In that case, if they want to resolve all of this, they need to start with Sakura."

Having finally recovered from memories of Archer's endless lectures, Talulah voiced her conclusion.

"There is something even worse. If I remember correctly, Saber was never actually eliminated. She became an enemy instead."

"Back when I accidentally saw some of Shirou's memories, Saber stabbed him through the chest with her sword and threw him into the black mud."

At that point, Amiya also recalled the memory she had once witnessed.

Many of the details had become blurry.

The important parts, however, remained firmly etched in her mind.

For example, Saber dressed entirely in black, her face cold and emotionless.

And Shirou's obviously asymmetrical arms.

Both hinted that the road ahead for Shirou and the others would be anything but smooth.

"...If I remember correctly, Shirou still won the Holy Grail War in the end, right? How in the world did he beat all these people!?"

After finally grasping the severity of Shirou's situation, Exusiai could not stop herself from complaining.

No matter how she looked at it, there seemed to be no way out of this situation.

This was not merely hard mode.

This was absolute nightmare difficulty.

And on top of that, Shirou seemed to have been hit with every possible debuff imaginable.

How had he managed to win in the first place?

"Well... strictly speaking, Shirou did not actually win."

Seeing how troubled everyone looked, Illya kindly revealed a tiny piece of the story ahead.

Everyone: "???"

So did Shirou win the Holy Grail War or not?

Could she please be a little clearer?

Do not stop halfway through the explanation.

Do not turn this into a riddle.

Unfortunately, despite receiving stares from everyone present, Illya had no intention of elaborating further.

Instead, she simply hummed a cheerful little tune and wore an extremely satisfied smile.

Satisfied about what?

Naturally, she was pleased that she had successfully teased everyone once again.

After all, what awaited them next was the darkest part of the Holy Grail War.

If she did not take the opportunity to mess with them now, she might not get another chance later.

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