The silence inside the wagon was absolute, a heavy, suffocating blanket that pressed against my lungs. I sat frozen, my hand hovering awkwardly in the air, my eyes locked onto the spot where the canvas tarp had shifted.
The golden light of the Aurum Tear had vanished, swallowed back into the folds of my ruined tunic, but the damage was already done.
Finn stared at my chest. His easy, warm smile had completely dissolved, replaced by a hollow, terrifying desperation.
Before either of us could breathe, a loud, grating voice shattered the quiet.
"Whoa! Hold up, you stubborn beasts!" Barnaby shouted from the driver's bench, followed by the harsh squeal of the wooden brake engaging. The wagon jerked violently, coming to a halt.
"We are taking a break right here!" the old man called back to us, his voice rough and tired.
"The mules are practically foaming at the mouth. We pushed too hard through the pass because of those cursed shadow-wolves stalking the tree line, but we lost 'em a few miles back. Give the beasts a minute to breathe, or they'll drop dead in their harnesses!"
Outside, I could hear the heavy, exhausted panting of the animals and the crunch of Barnaby's boots hitting the frozen dirt.
The mundane reality of a rest stop clashed violently with the deadly tension boiling in the back of the wagon.
Finn didn't blink. He didn't look at Barnaby. His eyes remained fixed on me.
"I—I..."
I stammered, my mouth suddenly as dry as ash. I swallowed hard, trying to force my voice to work.
"I can explain..."
"Don't,"
Finn whispered. His voice was no longer the cheerful tone of a farm boy; it was a low, dangerous rasp.
"I know that light. Anyone who has ever stepped foot near a Cathedral knows that light. It's high-tier restorative magic. It's a holy relic. An alchemical cure."
"No, Finn, listen, it's not what you think. It's just a—"
My lie died in my throat. It was pathetic. It was so incredibly obvious that I was carrying exactly what he needed. The faint, lingering scent of ancient sunlight and high-grade herbs still hung in the air between us.
Finn's hands began to shake. He looked at his dying brother, whose breathing was nothing more than a wet, painful rattle, and then he looked back at me. A dark, terrifying shadow fell over his face.
Suddenly, he lunged.
There was no hesitation, no warning shout. He just snapped. A rusted, iron hunting knife flashed from his belt, aiming straight for my chest.
What the hell! my mind screamed.
My survival instincts, beaten into me by Kael's brutal training, took over before my conscious brain could process the betrayal.
I threw my body violently to the side, rolling over a crate of salted fish.
The blade tore through the thick canvas tarp where my chest had been a fraction of a second before.
I scrambled backward, my boots kicking desperately at the floorboards until I tumbled backward out of the open back of the wagon.
I hit the frozen, muddy ground hard, the impact knocking the wind out of me. I gasped, rolling through the slush and scrambling to my feet.
Every burn and bruise on my body screamed in protest, but I forced myself to stand, my hand flying to the dagger hidden in my boot.
Finn vaulted out of the wagon, landing heavily in the mud a few feet away. The knife was gripped tightly in his trembling hand.
His chest heaved. His eyes were wide, bloodshot, and completely devoid of the friendly boy I had been talking to just moments ago. He looked like a cornered animal.
Panic seized my chest.
"Hey! Finn, stop!" I yelled, raising my empty hands while keeping my weight shifted, ready to dodge.
"Just calm down, alright! Please!"
He took a step forward, the mud squelching under his boots.
"I can help you!"
I pleaded, my voice cracking with desperation.
"I know exactly where to find the perfect potion for that Void-Weaver venom! I know the alchemists in the capital! Believe me, you once helped me at the gate, and I'm gonna help you too, I swear! I promise I'll repay you! You have my word!"
Finn stopped. His arm, the one holding the knife, began to tremble violently.
I braced myself, expecting him to launch forward with full speed. I calculated the distance, wondering if my cracked mana core had enough juice left to blast him backward without killing him.
But the attack never came.
Instead, the knife slipped from his fingers, falling into the mud with a dull thud.
Finn's knees buckled. He collapsed onto the frozen dirt. He didn't just kneel; he bowed his head completely, pressing his forehead directly into the cold, wet mud at my feet.
"Please!" Finn screamed, his voice shattering into a raw, ugly sob.
"Leo, I'm begging you! Please!"
I froze, my hand hovering over my boot. I stared down at him in total shock.
"I don't want to see my brother looking like that anymore!"
Finn wailed, his fingers digging into the muddy earth.
"Please... I'm begging you on my life. You don't know him, Leo. You don't know what he was like when he was fine and healthy. He was just a kid trying to help me pay for food. That poor thing doesn't deserve this! He doesn't deserve any of this!"
His cries echoed through the desolate woods, a sound of pure, unadulterated heartbreak.
"I'm a fraud!" Finn choked out, lifting his head slightly, his face covered in mud and tears.
"If I don't save him... I'm not a brother. I don't deserve that title. I lied to him, Leo. I lied to him every day. He should have died that first night when he was bitten by that monster. The venom should have stopped his heart. But he was strong. He held on... he held on just for me, because he saw me crying!"
Finn collapsed forward again, his shoulders heaving.
"If I don't do anything... if I can't save him when a miracle is sitting right in front of me... what am I? Really? What kind of monster am I?"
He couldn't hold himself together anymore. He just wept into the dirt, entirely stripped of his pride, his dignity, and his strength.
I stood there, looking down at the broken boy sobbing at my feet.
And for a long, terrible moment, I realized something horrifying about myself.
I was completely out of thoughts of sympathy.
I looked at him, and I felt... cold. A chilling, detached numbness washed over my mind.
I don't care about them, I thought, the realization settling into my bones like winter frost. Ijust don't.
What am I supposed to do here? That potion resting against my chest is my only hope. It is the only thing standing between Alisa and total erasure. Even a single sip is infinitely valuable to me. Every drop represents another hour I get to see her smile.
Can I just be selfish? Just this one time?
There is no point in giving it up. Even if they were my saviors at the checkpoint, this potion is my entire world right now. I don't need to repay their kindness with the only thing keeping my reason for living alive.
Finn is breaking down after only two days of seeing his brother suffer. Two days.
What about what I've been through? The dark thought whispered through my mind, loud and persuasive.
I have a much better reason to deserve good luck. Haven't I earned it? I have been tortured, burned, manipulated, and treated like a dog. I failed my main mission. I watched my friends risk their lives, and I still ended up with nothing but a cracked mana core and a broken promise. I have every right in the world to be completely, unforgivably selfish.
But then, another thought pierced through the numbness. A cold, calculating logic that Kael would have been proud of.
I don't even know if this potion is safe.
Julian gave it to me. Julian, a silver knight of the Cathedral. What if it's a trick? What if it's a deadly poison disguised as a cure, meant to put Alisa out of her misery so the Inquisition doesn't have to deal with the Sun-Blade's fallout? If I give this to Alisa, and it kills her faster... I will never forgive myself.
I looked down at Finn, and then at the wagon where Rian lay dying.
Ihave a better idea for using this, I thought, my heart growing dark and heavy. ineed a test subject.
I took a slow, deep breath, letting the icy air fill my lungs.
"Finn,"
I said. My voice was eerily calm, devoid of the panic from moments ago.
He stopped crying, looking up at me with desperate, red-rimmed eyes.
"I will give you a little bit,"
I said softly, measuring my words.
"Only a sip of the potion. Is that okay with you?"
As the words left my mouth, my internal monologue took a pitch-black turn.
If this potion actually works... if it shows positive results on his brother... then I will kill them both right here. The thought didn't even make me flinch.
It was purely transactional. If the Aurum Tear proves to be real, I cannot risk Finn realizing its true value and trying to steal the rest. I will cut his throat, take the vial, and leave their bodies in the mud. I will do whatever it takes to save Alisa. This is the universe's payback for my bad luck.
And, God help me, I hoped the potion worked.
Finn's eyes widened to the size of saucers. The disbelief on his face was almost painful to look at.
"Do you... do you really mean it?"
he gasped, scrambling to his knees.
"Leo, thank you! Thank you so much! I—I don't even know how to react right now!"
He let out a breathless, broken laugh, filled with a massive wave of relief and pure happiness. He pushed himself to his feet and stumbled toward me, his arms open wide, trying to pull me into a tight, desperate hug.
"Don't,"
I said sharply, taking a firm step backward.
"Don't draw any closer."
Finn stopped instantly, respecting the boundary. He didn't care about my coldness. He just smiled, a tear tracking through the dirt on his cheek.
"Yes... yes, of course. No problem,"
he nodded frantically.
He turned and rushed back to the wagon. He climbed inside and carefully, gently lifted his brother's limp body. Rian groaned, his crystallized arm scraping against the wood. Finn carried him out into the freezing air and laid him gently on a patch of frost-covered grass by the side of the road.
Barnaby watched us from the front of the wagon, his pipe halfway to his mouth, clearly deciding that whatever was happening was none of his business.
Finn knelt beside his brother, looking up at me with eyes full of absolute faith.
"Would you mind..."
Finn asked, his voice trembling with a hopeful smile.
"Would you mind giving it to him now?"
I stood there, looking at the dying boy on the grass and the older brother who loved him enough to beg in the mud.
Slowly, hesitatingly, I reached into my tunic.
My fingers wrapped around the warm glass of the Aurum Tear. I pulled it out, the golden light casting long, beautiful shadows across the ugly, frozen dirt.
I walked toward them, my mind a whirlpool of guilt, selfishness, and dark intent. I popped the cork, holding my breath, hoping with every corrupted fiber of my being that this golden lie would yield a good result.