Holding her hand felt… unnatural.
Not in a bad way.
Just unfamiliar.
Aoki Kokoro walked beside Emi Takahashi, their fingers lightly intertwined, as if both of them were still unsure whether this was something they were allowed to do.
The world around them moved as usual.
People passed by.
Cars drove along the road.
Voices blended into distant noise.
But for Aoki—
Everything felt quieter.
As if something inside him had shifted.
"…Aoki," Emi said softly.
"Hmm?"
"…Your hand is warm."
"…Yours too."
She smiled faintly.
"…I didn't expect it to feel like this."
"Like what?"
"…Comforting."
The word lingered.
Aoki didn't respond.
Because he understood.
More than he could explain.
—
They kept walking.
Slowly.
Without a destination.
Because the destination didn't matter.
Only the time did.
"…Do you want to sit?" Aoki asked.
Emi nodded.
"…Yeah."
They found a small park bench beneath a tree.
The ground was still slightly damp from last night's rain, but the air felt fresh, clean.
They sat down.
Still holding hands.
Neither of them let go.
Not yet.
"…This is on the list," Emi said.
"…Yeah."
"…I didn't think it would happen."
Aoki looked at her.
"…Why not?"
"Because it requires someone else."
"…And?"
She smiled faintly.
"…I didn't think I'd have that."
Aoki felt something tighten in his chest.
"…You do now."
Emi looked at him.
For a moment—
Her expression softened.
"…Yeah."
A quiet pause.
Then—
"…Aoki."
"Hmm?"
"…What do you think this is?"
He blinked.
"…What do you mean?"
"This," she said, slightly lifting their joined hands.
Aoki hesitated.
He didn't have a clear answer.
Not yet.
"…I don't know."
Emi nodded.
"…Me neither."
Silence settled between them.
But it wasn't empty.
It was full—
Of something neither of them could define.
—
"…Do you think it's wrong?" Emi asked suddenly.
Aoki frowned.
"…What is?"
"Getting close like this."
"…Why would it be wrong?"
"Because it won't last."
Her voice was calm.
Too calm.
Aoki looked away.
"…That doesn't make it wrong."
"It makes it painful."
"…Maybe."
"Then why do it?"
Aoki thought for a moment.
Then—
"…Because it matters."
Emi blinked.
"…Even if it ends?"
"…Yeah."
She stared at him.
Then—
She smiled.
A small, fragile smile.
"…You really are strange."
"…You keep saying that."
"And I'll keep saying it."
Aoki sighed.
"…Fine."
She laughed softly.
—
The wind brushed past them.
Gentle.
Calm.
The kind that made everything feel still.
"…Aoki," Emi said.
"Hmm?"
"…Can I tell you something?"
"Go ahead."
She hesitated.
Just for a moment.
Then—
"…I was scared last night."
Aoki's grip tightened slightly.
"…I know."
"No," she shook her head slightly. "…Not just because of the pain."
He looked at her.
"…Then why?"
"…Because you were there."
Aoki blinked.
"…Me?"
She nodded.
"…I didn't want you to see me like that."
Silence.
"…Why?"
"Because it's ugly."
"It's not."
"It is," she said quietly. "It's not something people should see."
Aoki shook his head.
"…You're wrong."
Emi looked at him.
"…How?"
"…Because it's part of you."
"That doesn't make it beautiful."
"…It doesn't make it something to hide either."
Emi stared at him.
For a long moment.
Then—
"…You're really bad at saying normal things."
"…Maybe."
She smiled faintly.
"…But I'm glad you saw it."
Aoki blinked.
"…You are?"
"…Yeah."
"…Why?"
"Because you didn't leave."
The words were simple.
But heavy.
Aoki didn't respond.
Because he couldn't deny it.
—
Time passed.
Slowly.
Quietly.
The sun began to lower slightly in the sky.
"…We should go back soon," Aoki said.
"…Yeah."
But neither of them moved.
Not yet.
Because letting go—
Meant something.
And neither of them were ready.
—
"…Aoki."
"Hmm?"
"…What happens when the list ends?"
He froze.
The question—
He hadn't thought about it.
"…I don't know," he admitted.
"Me neither."
She looked down.
"…Maybe that's when everything ends."
Aoki frowned.
"…Don't say that."
"…Why not?"
"Because it's not true."
"…Then what is?"
Aoki hesitated.
Then—
"…We'll make a new list."
Emi blinked.
"…A new one?"
"Yeah."
"…Even if I don't have time?"
"…Then we'll make a shorter one."
She stared at him.
As if trying to understand something impossible.
Then—
She smiled.
A real smile.
"…You don't give up easily, do you?"
"…No."
"…That's nice."
A small pause.
"…Then let's do that."
"Yeah."
—
Finally—
Slowly—
They let go.
Their hands separated.
The warmth lingered.
Even after.
"…It feels colder," Emi said softly.
"…Yeah."
But neither reached out again.
Because some moments—
Only happen once.
And that made them special.
—
They stood up.
Walking side by side again.
The distance returned.
But it felt different now.
Smaller.
Lighter.
Like something had changed.
Even if they couldn't name it.
"…Aoki," Emi said.
"Hmm?"
"…Thank you."
"For what?"
"For today."
"…It's nothing."
"It's not."
He didn't argue.
Because maybe—
She was right.
—
As they walked—
Aoki felt it again.
That quiet weight in his chest.
But this time—
It wasn't just heavy.
It was warm.
Confusing.
Uncertain.
But real.
Something was growing.
Something fragile.
Something dangerous.
Something he didn't fully understand.
But he knew one thing—
He didn't want it to stop.
Even if it hurt.
Even if it ended.
Because right now—
With her beside him—
It felt like something worth holding onto.
Even if he didn't know its name.
Yet.