Chapter 38: The Others Search Party
Tyrion was right; Egger truly could not bring himself to be happy now. The surge of excitement from a moment ago upon learning he could leave the Wall had been mostly extinguished. Contemplating how to complete that mountain of tasks, he lost his appetite for banter and witty retorts. As he returned to his quarters with Tyrion, discussing the schedule for their departure, even his footsteps felt heavy.
Coming toward them was a tall, ugly man of the Night's Watch lugging a large sack, which caught Egger's attention.
"Othell, what are you carrying?"
"Grain. Lord Benjen decided we're heading north tomorrow morning to search for Waymar Royce, wildlings, and whatever other ghost stories might be out there—if they actually exist." The veteran ranger stopped, adjusted his load, and looked Egger up and down as if seeing him for the first time. "Hmph. The 'White Walker Killer,' turned 'Provisions Officer.' Off to King's Landing to enjoy yourself, eh? Must be thrilled."
"You wouldn't believe how many tasks I'm taking with me," Egger replied with a forced smile and a shake of his head. Beyond outsiders like Tyrion, even among the Black Brothers, many still didn't believe the Others existed. They thought the First Ranger and the Lord Commander were half-mad for believing the nonsense of three deserters. However, since Benjen had already laid everything out plainly, there was no need to hide anymore. "Of course, compared to the dangerous work of hunting White Walkers, it certainly counts as a plum assignment... How are the special weapons coming along?"
"Valyrian steel? Only the Lord Commander has a blade like that in all of Castle Black. Benjen refused the Commander's kind offer to borrow it. We've managed to get some dragonglass, though—made three dragonglass spearheads and a dozen arrows. If you weren't lying about the number of Others out there, it should be enough."
"I can only guarantee that I saw five, but there's no way there are only five in the world. They must be like lords and masters; usually, they act in small groups of two or three beyond the Wall, harvesting the lives of small bands of wildlings and stealing their infants to replenish their army of the dead. Once there isn't a single living wildling left in the Haunted Forest and their strength is enough to assault the Wall, they will gather together."
Egger temporarily set aside his thoughts on the mountain of tasks and turned serious. A man must be diligent in his duties; as a ranger—and now, perhaps, a multi-purpose officer—he naturally hoped his comrades' operation would go smoothly and safely. Even setting aside the greater good and thinking purely of himself, any loss or crushing defeat for the Night's Watch would mean an increased likelihood of him being forcibly recalled or pressured to raise even more supplies and men.
In short, the interests of the Night's Watch were now his interests.
"There's something else I must urge you: the Others are not monsters. They are intelligent, magical beings. My act of killing one of them will have certainly alerted the rest. Even though you're carrying obsidian weapons, you must remain cautious."
Othell let out a yawn. "Tell all that to Benjen. I'm just a soldier; I do what the officers say. Don't much care for the rest."
"I've already told him, but with things like this, the more people who know, the better." Egger remained uneasy. "Also, remember: if anyone falls or you find a corpse on the road, you must burn it... And fire works on wights, but it won't kill an Other."
"Got it. My brain isn't much for thinking; tell me more and I won't remember anyway. I'm off." The tall ranger, somewhat annoyed by the nagging, gave a wave and walked past him with his sack without looking back.
"I've grown used to your sharp, concise way of speaking; I didn't expect to see such a talkative side of you." Tyrion watched the burly ranger walk away, unable to suppress a chuckle. "You make it sound so real, I'm almost starting to believe the White Walkers actually exist."
Egger returned a helpless smile, not bothering to try and convince Tyrion.
Regardless of the reasons or excuses, though he was an outsider, at this moment he was a member of this world's Night's Watch. By utilizing an information advantage no one else possessed, coupled with lies, he was about to move far away from danger.
Benjen's party would consist of seven elite rangers, including Will, heading north to find evidence of the return of humanity's ancient enemy... Seven of them, each a hand-picked hero. Yet, without Valyrian steel, facing enemies with absolute physical, weapon, and tactical advantages who were already on guard—even with obsidian—they were essentially walking into a lion's den with a slim chance of survival.
He was supposed to be one of them, yet at the last moment, he had pulled himself out, throwing his share of the responsibility onto others. If Benjen's original plan was to have both he and Will lead the way, then his departure increased the danger faced by the remaining eight by one-ninth. If Benjen had chosen Will as a last-minute replacement because of his absence, then Egger had effectively turned his squadmate—a man he lived with in the same tower—into a sacrificial lamb.
There was no deep bond between him and Will; in fact, without Egger's presence, Will would have died anyway... But every time he thought about someone else risking their life in his place, Egger's heart tightened. He let out a long, quiet sigh, suppressing the urge to stay and join the mission.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I suppose I'm just an honest man at heart." Egger tried to keep his tone light. This party of rangers leaving tomorrow stood a high probability of never returning. To say so out loud would sound like he was cursing his comrades. After the lesson of Bran's fall, he understood that until he had sufficient status and a voice, there were things he simply could not change. "To finally be able to leave, yet feel a bit of reluctance..."
Tyrion looked at him with some surprise. "If I remember correctly, you were conscripted against your will."
"I was, but it wasn't the Night's Watch that took me." Egger shook his head. "Since I joined the Night's Watch, I've been treated like everyone else. Food, lodging, even a bit of allowance... Though the conditions are poor, there is a sense of equality. A petty noble whose name I don't even know exiled me here, but the Night's Watch hasn't mistreated me. Do you understand what I mean?"
"I do. You're saying you don't hate the Watch."
Egger nodded and fell silent. Seeing his former comrades preparing for tomorrow's patrol, the distress and headache of his assigned tasks vanished. He realized that despite the obstructions and the impossible missions, compared to that group of rangers heading north to find the Others, he was incredibly lucky! Not only that, the round trip from the Wall to King's Landing would take at least three months. Timewise, he had not only dodged Benjen's patrol, but if Mormont remained stubborn and prepared a Great Range to find the missing Benjen, Egger would dodge that catastrophe too. Compared to his life and safety, what was the pressure of a few complex tasks?
Ah—If a person doesn't push themselves, they'll never know how excellent they can be.
Before transmigrating, a hardworking parents had created such superior conditions that he could live well without having to struggle. Since transmigrating, his status as a Crow and the equal treatment meant he could never live well no matter what he did... to the point where he never knew what it felt like to give his all to a task.
Now, the easy days were over. His future would depend entirely on the decisions he made. So what if he was a Provisions Officer, a recruiter for King's Landing and the Crownlands, a mining director, and an Ambassador all at once? Egger decided to challenge himself. Where there is a will, there is a way!
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