What does it truly mean to live a long, beautiful life full of,, purpose''? Does it mean doing what you desire without thinking, which will give you a happy life? We all want to succeed, we all want fame, money and so on, we all search and look for a purpose of our own existence, we all want to be unique and different from the others, we want to stand out and have something thats meant for us instead of running without looking back towards something that makes your heart pound but with your head on your shoulder and careful not to loose it. It's ridiculous, our need for difference and authenticity. It's foolish to want to be distinctive when being alive itself is special and so beautiful.
We tend to get absorbed into the darkness and forget about the light that once caressed us so lovingly. We tend to let it suffocate us till we lose our breath and start to get dizzy. With our own hands, we choke ourselves and then cry when we can't exhale anymore. Does it still surprise you? When you feel your own fingertips fondle into your wounds, your own nails? Does it still make you nauseous like it used to? Have you gotten sick of it, or maybe you got used to it? Do you comfort into the unchanged? Cause I can feel the sweat of your heart and the aching you keep hiding, I can feel it all, every single bit.
We sabotage ourselves when things are going great cause we are so used to feeling drowned and full of sadness, we find so much comfort in our situation that when things are actually going well, we start to doubt and overthink everything and every interaction you've had.
When will we stop? When will we turn around and face what scares us? When will we truly? Because I'm sick and tired of feeling like this, aren't you as well?
And this is the novel of how I found the true meaning of life that we all search so eagerly for.