"Get him medical attention! Now!"
The agents scrambled, but I just watched the kid's face, my brain already running through scenarios.
An unknown individual in one of the most secure facilities on earth. In the middle of a massacre, but barely touched.
Why?
Why was he there?
And most importantly, why was he left alive with just minor injuries?
"Sir. Preliminary scans are here." Another agent, this one holding a tablet. "Genetic material analysis is complete."
I grabbed the tablet, scanning the results. Blood samples from the room, DNA analysis, cross-referenced against known databases.
Most of it matched. The Guardians' blood types, genetic markers, all accounted for. The chaos of the fight had splattered everyone's DNA across the entire room.
But there were three samples that didn't match the known Guardians.
One was obviously the unknown kid. Human DNA with no abnormalities, nothing special beyond being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Second was that of a Cow?
But the final sample made my blood run cold.
Viltrumite genetic markers.
Comparing from the databank, it matched Nolan Grayson's blood.
Omni-Man had been in that room.
And there was a lot of his blood. Enough blood to indicate serious injury to the Omni-Man.
But there was no body to be found.
No Omni-Man among the dead or survivors.
"Donald," I said quietly, my voice cutting through the organized chaos of the war room. "Give me a timeline. Everything we know."
Donald pulled up data, his fingers moving efficiently across the tablet. "Distress signal was triggered at 0347 hours from Darkwing's personal beacon. Guardians responded within a few minutes - internal logs show they assembled in the conference room at 0400 hours. We lost all internal feeds at that exact moment as every sensor in their HQ went dark simultaneously."
"Simultaneously?" That suggested someone deliberately cut the feeds, not damage from a fight.
"Yes sir. External sensors detected massive kinetic impacts consistent with superhuman combat. The fight lasted approximately four minutes based on seismic sensors in the surrounding area."
"And Omni-Man?"
Donald's expression tightened. "Last confirmed sighting was two hours before the signal. He was in Chicago dealing with a Flaxan incursion - publicly witnessed by hundreds of civilians. GDA tracking had him returning to his house at 0320 hours."
Twenty-seven minutes before the signal. Plenty of time for Omni-Man to fly back and to.
"So he could've gotten there," I said.
"Sir, are you suggesting-"
"I'm not suggesting anything." I cut him off, my voice hard. "But Omni-Man's blood is all over that room. The Guardians are barely alive. And one unknown kid with minimal injuries is lying in the corner."
I turned back to the feed, watching medics load the kid onto a stretcher, oxygen mask being placed over his face.
Something didn't add up.
Omni-Man was Earth's strongest hero. Had fought Apocalyptic threats, alien invasions, and interdimensional conquerors.
I don't want to admit it but if he'd wanted the Guardians dead, they'd all be dead.
But five had survived. Barely, but survived.
And this kid was comparatively unscathed.
"Run full analysis on the unknown," I ordered. "DNA, fingerprints, dental records, everything. Check global databases, Interpol, Mossad, MI6, CIA, FSB - I want every intelligence agency's records cross-referenced. Find out who he is, where he came from, and why the hell he was in that room. And most importantly, get me the scans on those finger bruises on the kid's throat and scan them for matches."
"And Omni-Man?"
I lit a cigarette, ignoring the way the artificial skin on my hand didn't register heat anymore. "Put a surveillance team on him and his family and keep it discreet. I want eyes on Nolan Grayson twenty-four-seven. If he so much as takes a shit wrong, I want to know about it."
"Sir?"
"Keep it quiet. If Omni-Man really did this..." I took a drag, exhaling smoke through what was left of my real lungs. "Then we've got exactly zero options for stopping him if he decides to finish what he started. The last thing we need is to spook the world's strongest hero into going full supervillain because he thinks we're onto him."
Donald's face went pale. "Sir, if he's compromised, what do we do?"
"We smile, we nod, we act like nothing's wrong, and we pray to whatever god is listening that we can figure out a way to stop a Viltrumite before he decides Earth is more trouble than it's worth." I stubbed out the cigarette. "And we figure out what that kid knows. Because if he was in that room during the fight and survived? He saw something. And I need to know what."
The war room fell silent except for the quiet beeping of medical monitors in the feed.
JOHN'S POV
I was once again floating in darkness.
It was Peaceful and quiet.
Then I heard it.
Ding ding ding ding ding!
The sound of a slot machine hitting jackpot, echoing through infinite nothing.
Oh no.
"John, my boy! My lucky charm! My absolute favourite disaster!"
RNGesus's voice exploded through the void like a game show host on cocaine, coming from everywhere at once.
"THEY LOVE YOU! ALL OF THEM! The betting pool just EXPLODED! You're a STAR, kid!"
As quickly as he appeared, RNGesus and his joyful energy faded away. I finally opened my eyes.
Light flooded in, way too bright, and everything was a blurry mess. Just shapes and colors bleeding together like someone had smeared Vaseline across my vision.
"That should bode well," I muttered, my voice coming out hoarse.
I tried to rub my eyes, but my hands wouldn't move right. Something was wrong with my arms.
I looked down or tried to, as everything was still swimming in and out of focus and saw metal. Thick metal cuffs completely encase my hands like oversized boxing gloves, both wrists chained together with maybe six inches of slack between them.
I pulled at the chains. Only for them to rattle and not budge.
"Yeah, these are real, all right," I said to nobody. "cause why wouldn't I wake up in restraints? That's exactly how I want to start my day."
My brain was still catching up. Where was I?
Then the memories hit like a freight train.
The fight.
Oh god, the fight.
The Guardians of the Globe getting systematically dismantled by Omni-Man.
The Immortal was literally ripped in half, and Aquarus turned into paste against a wall.
Nakime's trap.
Omni-Man flying through it at full speed.
Into my Infinity Castle. My safe haven.
Oh fuck!
'Nakime!' I thought desperately, reaching for our mental connection with everything I had. 'Nakime! Are you there?! Are you alright?! Did he- please tell me he didn't-'
Relief crashed through me when I felt her response.
'This one… is here to serve you…Master.'
Her mental voice sounded exhausted, strained, like she was trying to speak while running a marathon.
'As for my condition...'
'What? Are you hurt? Where's Omni-Man? Did he find you? Did he-"
'This one is unharmed, Master. The Omni-Man you fought is heavily injured and severely weakened, but he is still destroying the castle as we speak. Tearing through my domain, smashing walls, all while cursing your name. He is... persistent.'
Persistent. Right. That was one way to describe a curse-driven Viltrumite with a pathological need to kill me.
'As for my condition... this one apologizes, but I took a portion of the corpse of one of those heroes who fought alongside you against that monster.'
I blinked, trying to process that. 'Wait, what? Which one?'
'The one in blue garb. The decapitated one.'
'Oh.' I thought about that. 'Oh! The Immortal! Nakime, that's fine. Actually, you can take more if you need it. That guy's not called Immortal for nothing. At worst, we'll get the Mauler Twins to create a clone of his body."
There was a pause of relief in our mental connection.
'Master, this one must report something unusual. This 'Immortal's' corpse is extremely beneficial to me. Every time my body digests his flesh's lifeforce, it regenerates the energy, providing sustenance again. I have been observing this phenomenon for the past day, and I believe... I believe this has effectively cured me of my accursed hunger for human flesh.'
I sat up straighter, or tried to, before the chains stopped me. 'Wait, seriously? You're not hungry anymore?'
'Not in the way I was before. The regenerating Life-Force provides infinite sustenance. As long as I have access to this corpse, I will never hunger again.'
"Nakime, that's amazing! That means you don't have to worry about-"
'Ahh—!'
Her mental scream cut through our connection sharply, and I felt her terror spike through the link.
"WHAT?! WHAT HAPPENED?!" I shouted out loud.
I could hear her panting, feel her shock radiating through our bond.
'Master, it seems the monster heard me speaking, even across the infinite distances of the castle. He nearly caught me blind, if not got my biwa already taunt that I managed to redirect him several miles away.'
My blood ran cold.
Fuck.
FUCK.
'I must concentrate now, Master. Keeping this monster imprisoned requires my full attention. I will contact you only in emergencies. Please... survive.'
And the connection went quiet.
I sat there in my restraints, vision blurry, head pounding, and tried to process the absolute clusterfuck my life had become.
The Mortal Enemy curse had chosen Omni-Man, cause of course it had.
And now said psychopath was trapped in my pocket dimension, hunting Nakime, destroying my only safe space, driven by curse-enhanced hatred to find me and literally give me the most torturous death imaginable.
'On the other hand.' My mind went somewhere darker.
I could let Omni-Man kill her. After her death, the Infinity Castle would collapse, trapping him in a dimensi-
My hand moved before I consciously decided to do it, slamming my forehead against the metal restraints.
BONK.
Pain exploded across my skull sharply, and I felt warm blood start trickling down from my already-injured forehead to mix with the dried blood from earlier.
"Fuck," I hissed through gritted teeth. "The fuck am I even thinking? I promised myself I wouldn't be anything like Father. Wouldn't treat family like disposable assets in some grand strategy."
Nakime was mine. My familiar. My responsibility.
She'd already saved my skin twice!
And she was right now fighting to keep him contained while I sat here useless and chained.
I'd find another way.
Then notifications started appearing in my vision, cutting through the blur;
[Feat Achieved! First Combat Experience]
[Reward: +1 Bronze Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Draw First Blood on a Viltrumite]
[Reward: +1 Platinum Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Witness Your First Murder]
[Reward: +1 Silver Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Trap a Viltrumite in Your Pocket Dimension]
[Reward: +1 Diamond Skill Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Alter a Canon Massacre]
[Reward: +1 Platinum Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Survive Direct Combat with Your Mortal Enemy]
[Reward: +1 Gold Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Solve your familiar's accused hunger]
[Reward: +1 Silver Bronze Random Gacha Ticket (due to Familiar's own actions)]
I stared at the notifications, vision still fucked from blood in my eyes, and started laughing.
Laughter that comes when you're so far past stressed that your brain just gives up and decides everything is hilarious.
"Holy shit," I wheezed, trying to wipe blood from my face with my chained hands. "I did all that. In one night? One fucking night?"
Infiltrated a superhero base by complete accident.
Warned them about Omni-Man.
Got into a fight with a Viltrumite.
Actually wounded said Viltrumite with a lucky-ass stab to his already-cracked ribs.
Witnessed eight heroes get brutally murdered.
Somehow changed canon enough that some of them survived.
Trapped my Mortal Enemy in my pocket dimension.
And survived all of it.
"I'm either the luckiest son of a bitch alive," I said to the empty room, "or RNGesus is saving me for something way worse."
"Well," I said, wiping more blood from my eyes and squinting at the blurry tickets. "Let's see if I can gamble my way out of this clusterfuck."
After all, I'm always All in.
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