As much as they tried to continue with their lives after that intense night, deep down… they all knew nothing would ever be the same again.
Yume knew the feeling between the two was mutual, but she didn't know how to help. Sayuri had her heart broken for the first time. Jun felt like trash, trying to avoid everyone, and Kenji was trying to understand everything that had happened.
Jun believed it would be easy to move on, to focus on his own goals like he always had, but something inside him was unsettled, unresolved.
And as the days passed, a silent emptiness began to grow inside him, as if suddenly nothing made sense anymore. And even trying to ignore it, there was something he couldn't deny: he missed something.
Maybe the way she looked at him with admiration… the absence of her smile or her gentle words. But most of all, that feeling of being important to someone.
Depressed in his room, Jun let his fingers slide across the guitar strings, lost in a random melody. With every whispered verse, one single image kept returning.
He began writing down the words that came to his mind. A song was being born there. He wouldn't admit it, but it was an apology to her, maybe even a declaration of love. As if his heart was speaking louder, stubbornly betraying his own reason.
The song spoke about the kiss, about when he first saw her, and about how he hurt her.
He set the guitar aside and fell onto the bed. With the window slightly open, he let the breeze come in. He stared at the sky; the stars seemed distant, but his mind was even further away.
"That's enough…" he murmured, suddenly getting up.
He grabbed his jacket and left.
"Dear, are you going out?" his grandmother asked.
"Just going for a walk, grandma. Don't worry."
Without realizing it, his steps led him to a tavern, and as soon as he entered, he found Kenji.
"So you're here…" he said, walking over. "You didn't even call me."
Kenji looked up, surprised.
"It was kind of… last minute."
Jun looked at the table. Three glasses.
"You're not alone, huh?"
Kenji cleared his throat.
"I was with the girls, but they already left."
Jun looked around, pretending not to care.
"So now you're avoiding me?" he said, looking away.
"Of course not. I told you, it was last minute. You know how Yume is, impulsive…" he replied, trying to change the subject. "I'll go get you another drink."
"The usual."
"I know. I'll be right back."
Hours later, outside, on the way home, Jun—slightly loosened by alcohol—asked:
"How is she?"
Kenji glanced sideways.
"Sayuri?… She seemed fine."
Jun nodded slowly.
"That's good… then I won't feel guilty."
Kenji paused for a moment.
"You really don't care that you hurt her?"
"I never intended to do that…"
"From what I saw, she really likes you. Aren't you afraid she'll stop liking you?"
Jun took a deep breath.
"It's better this way… for both of us."
Kenji didn't answer, just kept walking. When they arrived, he helped him up to his room, placing him on the bed. Kenji then took off his boots and set them on the floor, and his eyes fell on a scribbled paper next to the guitar.
Curious, he read it… then looked at Jun, already asleep.
"How long are you going to deny your feelings…"
He stood up, putting the paper in his pocket.
"You're going to regret this…"
The next morning, Jun woke up with a terrible headache. He tried to go back to sleep, but his grandmother called him. When he left his room, he found a note stuck to the door:
"Rehearsal this afternoon. Don't be late!"
"Perfect timing…" he muttered, still sleepy.
"Good morning, grandma."
"Good morning, dear. Want some coffee?"
"Sure, thanks."
While having breakfast, he said:
"I have rehearsal this afternoon, grandma. Do you need anything?"
She thought for a moment.
"No… I just need to finish some cookies for a friend."
"I can help."
"No," she said, smiling. "Go have fun. You've been too alone lately, always locked in that room."
"Alright…" he replied, finishing his coffee.
"Oh!" she called. "Before you leave, could you take these cookies to our neighbor?"
"Our neighbor?"
"Yes, Sayuri's mother, right across the street. Tell her I'll make the vanilla ones next week."
He looked at the clock.
"Sure… I can take them before three."
Jun went back to his room and ended up falling asleep, losing track of time.
"Oh… damn…"
He left in a hurry, because he had planned to deliver the cookies before Sayuri got home, but fate didn't cooperate.
Jun knocked on the door and took a deep breath. He hoped she still hadn't arrived.
"Can I help you?" Sayuri's mother asked as she opened the door.
He immediately felt relieved.
"Good afternoon, ma'am. My grandmother asked me to bring these cookies and let you know she'll make the vanilla ones next week."
"Oh, wonderful! Thank you. Come in, you can leave them on the table."
"Sorry, but I'm in a bit of a hurry…"
Trying not to prolong the situation, he quickly handed over the cookies and said goodbye.
When he turned around… he couldn't believe what he saw. She was there, and their eyes met again, but with a completely different kind of light.
There was disappointment in Sayuri's eyes. Jun wanted to say something, but before he could even open his mouth, she looked away and walked inside, completely ignoring him.
Without saying anything, as if he didn't exist. Jun wasn't prepared for that. Something inside him hurt in a way he didn't expect.
A silent rejection… but a deep one. Dazed, he started walking toward Kenji's studio for rehearsal.
On the way, he tried to convince himself that this was good.
This was exactly what he wanted.
So… why did it hurt so much?