The car moved steadily through the dark, headlights cutting a narrow path through the empty road ahead. The engine hummed quietly, the only real sound inside the car.
Ray shifted slightly in the back seat, letting out a faint groan, his head resting back.
Kate sat next to him, closer than before but not quite touching, her hands resting in her lap, fingers fidgeting with each other.
Up front, Julia kept her eyes on the road, one hand on the wheel, the other resting near the gear, the silence stretching between all three of them.
"So… you girls like omelette?" Ray muttered, his voice weak but trying for something normal.
Kate turned her head slowly to look at him, her expression flat, somewhere between disbelief and irritation. "Seriously?"
Julia didn't even look back. "Ray," she said calmly, eyes still on the road, "if you can make jokes, you're not dying."
Kate let out a quiet breath, shaking her head slightly as she looked away again, though the tension in her shoulders eased just a little.
"I am, Miss Julia… just finish me off," he said dramatically, letting his head fall back against the seat.
Kate stared at him for a second, then scoffed quietly, shaking her head. "Oh my God…"
Julia let out a slow breath through her nose. "If you don't stop talking, I might," she replied dryly, her grip tightening slightly on the wheel.
Kate looked away again, but this time there was the faintest hint of a smirk tugging at her lips.
"There are worse ways to depart from this world than being slain by a beautiful queen," he added, his voice still weak but committed to the bit.
Kate let out a short breath, pressing her lips together to stop herself from reacting too much.
Julia raised an eyebrow slightly, eyes still on the road. "You're unbelievable," she muttered.
Kate glanced at him again, just for a second, before quickly looking away.
"Can I kick him again? Maybe it's gonna fix him," Kate said, glancing at Julia.
"No!" Julia answered immediately.
"Just once?"
"Stop it," Julia said, though this time there was a small smile tugging at her lips.
"As the queen allowed the hero an honorary death… there the beast came…" he murmured, eyes half-closed, still fully committed to whatever story he was making up.
Kate covered her face with one hand, shaking her head. "Please stop…"
Julia sighed, but there was a hint of amusement in it now. "I swear, I'm driving you straight to the hospital and leaving you there," she said, though her tone had softened slightly.
"I shall stay in the darkness, knowing my last sight was the beautiful lips of the—"
"Finish that sentence and I will kick you again," Kate cut in sharply, turning toward him, though there was a flicker of something else in her expression.
Julia let out a quiet breath, shaking her head. "Unbelievable," she muttered, keeping her eyes on the road.
"The queen was on a rescue mission, as the beast following near them was determined to end the life of the one she nearly slain just an hour and twenty-seven minutes ago…" he continued, his voice fading in and out, but still dramatic.
Kate stared at him for a second, completely done. "You are not turning this into a story," she said, though her tone had lost most of its bite.
Julia shook her head slightly, a quiet exhale escaping her. "If he passes out mid-sentence, I'm counting that as a win," she muttered.
"And there they were, going into the night, wondering if the hero had any chance of surviving his wounds… even the beast…" he continued, his voice trailing off slightly, slower now.
Kate glanced at him again, her expression softening just a bit despite herself, her earlier frustration fading into something quieter.
Julia kept driving, the faint hum of the engine filling the space as she let him ramble, not interrupting this time.
"I see stars—FUCK, IT'S A DRAGON!" he suddenly yelled, jerking slightly in his seat.
Kate flinched, turning to him immediately. "What the hell—?!"
Julia tightened her grip on the wheel for a second. "Ray!" she snapped, glancing in the mirror. "Sit still!"
Kate stared at him, half-annoyed, half-worried now, her hand hovering for a second like she didn't know whether to hit him again or check on him.
"There once was a boy named Harry… destined to be a star! His parents were killed by Voldemort…" he rambled, words blending together as he kept going.
Kate blinked at him, completely thrown off. "Are you seriously doing Harry Potter right now?"
Julia let out a quiet breath. "At least we know his brain still works," she muttered, eyes still on the road.
Kate shook her head, but this time she didn't look away immediately, watching him for a second longer than before.
"Are we there yet, mommy?" he mumbled, his voice slurring slightly as his head tilted to the side.
Kate froze for a second, then turned to him slowly. "Did you just—?"
Julia didn't even hesitate. "No," she said flatly, eyes on the road.
Kate pressed her lips together, trying not to react, but a small, disbelieving breath escaped her anyway.
"Are we there yet? Are we theeere?" he repeated, dragging out the last word, fully slipping into it.
Kate slowly turned her head toward him, staring. "You are not doing Donkey right now…"
Julia let out a breath that was dangerously close to a laugh. "If he starts singing, I'm pulling over," she said, shaking her head.
Kate looked away again, but this time she couldn't fully hide the small smile creeping onto her face.
"Who let the dooogs out—" he started, way too committed.
Kate immediately reached over and covered his mouth with her hand. "Nope. Absolutely not."
Julia actually laughed this time, a short breath escaping her as she shook her head. "Thank you," she said.
Kate kept her hand there for a second longer than necessary before pulling it back, avoiding his eyes again.
"The beast caught me… call the chief of the village immediately!" he declared, lifting his hand weakly like he was giving orders.
Kate let out a tired breath, rubbing her forehead. "You're not even making sense anymore…"
Julia shook her head, a faint smile still there. "At this point, I'm just impressed," she said.
Kate glanced at him again, her expression softer now despite everything, like she couldn't decide whether to be annoyed or worried.
"If I wasn't a poet, glowing in the dark… in the porn industry I'd leave a mark!" he finished, clearly proud of himself despite barely keeping his eyes open.
Kate blinked at him, completely speechless for a second. "…I'm not even going to respond to that."
Julia shook her head, letting out a short laugh. "We're definitely at the right destination," she muttered.
Kate looked away again, but this time she was fighting a smile, her earlier tension almost completely gone.
"And as the heroes arrived at the castle where the Healer resided, the hero—"
His voice cut off mid-sentence.
His head slowly tipped to the side, body going slack as the words just… stopped.
Kate's smile faded instantly. "Ray?"
Julia glanced in the mirror, her expression sharpening. "He just passed out," she said, pressing a bit harder on the gas.
Kate shifted closer without thinking, her hand hovering near his arm.
And just like that, a few seconds later, his eyes fluttered open again.
"Did we win?" he mumbled, blinking slowly. "Is Obama still president?"
Kate let out a sharp breath, tension snapping. "Oh my God…"
Julia shook her head, exhaling. "Unfortunately, yes—you survived," she said dryly.
Kate leaned back slightly, but her eyes stayed on him for a second longer than before.
"That's good… I don't want another president. Obama is cooool…" he mumbled, his words slowing again as his head rested back.
Kate let out a quiet breath through her nose, shaking her head. "You're unbelievable…"
Julia kept her eyes on the road, a faint smile still there as the car continued through the night.
As the car fell quiet for a few minutes, the hum of the engine the only sound, Ray shifted slightly in his seat.
Without really thinking, he placed a hand on Kate's lap.
"Are you the princess?" he mumbled, barely opening his eyes.
Kate froze instantly, her whole body tensing at the contact, her gaze dropping to his hand.
Julia rolled her eyes, glancing at them in the mirror. "I figured it was the kick, but he's clearly drunk off his ass."
Kate stayed completely still, her eyes fixed on it for a second before she slowly looked away, her fingers tightening slightly against the seat.
"Hey, princess… can you tell Kate I'm sorry when you see her?" he mumbled, his voice soft, barely there.
Kate froze, her breath catching for a second, her eyes flicking toward him before quickly looking away again.
Julia glanced at them through the mirror, her expression shifting slightly, the teasing gone for a moment. "…Smooth," she muttered under her breath.
What shall we do with a drunken sailor… what shall we do with a drunken sailor…" he started mumbling, barely on rhythm but fully committed.
Kate slowly turned her head toward him, eyes narrowing. "Oh my God…"
Julia let out a tired breath. "I'm not even surprised anymore," she said, shaking her head.
Ray continued quietly, "What shall we do with a drunken sailor… early in the mornin'…" his voice fading in and out as his hand still rested on Kate's lap.
Kate didn't move it.
"Sooon may the Wellerman come… to bring us sugar and tea and rum…" he slurred, somehow even more dramatic now, his voice dipping in and out like he was performing on a stage.
Kate closed her eyes for a second, shaking her head. "You've got to be kidding me…"
Julia let out a quiet laugh. "He's got range, I'll give him that," she said.
Ray kept going, softer now, "One day, when the tonguin' is done…" his head tilting slightly toward Kate without even realizing.
Kate stayed still, her gaze drifting forward again, but she didn't push his hand away.
"It's a trap!" he suddenly blurted out, his voice gaining a weird burst of energy.
Kate's head snapped toward him. "No way—did you just—" her eyes narrowed, almost offended. "You watched them?!"
Julia glanced in the mirror, confused. "Watched what?"
Kate pointed at him. "Star Wars! He's been acting like he hasn't seen it this whole time!"
Ray just blinked slowly, completely unaware of the chaos he'd caused. "The fish guy… smart…" he mumbled.
Kate stared at him, betrayed.